Let Me by Lara


Summary: Angel and Cordelia have a 'system', but of course it goes a bit out of control.

Spoilers: Season Three.

Distribution: Just ask.


Part 1

Angel watched the Seer pace back and forth through the lobby. He leaned forward and propped his chin on his hand. He made sure not to fall off his seated position on the counter. No dorkiness. Cordelia stopped, as if a revelation occurred, then continued pacing. Angel frowned and continued to watch her. "Stop it!!" Cordelia yelled suddenly.

Angel jumped. "What?"

The Seer sighed, rubbing her face anxiously. "Stop leering at me."

"I'm not leering. I'm staring."

"Leering. Staring. I don't care. It's creepy." The girl sat on the edge of the couch closest to her friend. "Sorry for the pacing."

Angel smiled. "It's okay. You're very...pace-y tonight, that's all." His smile faded. "You think I'm creepy?"

Cordelia ignored his question. "I look awful. I look old. And you know what makes it worse? These vision aren't coming in, Angel...it's worrying me. I can't sleep, eat- I'm just scared. I can't stop thinking about it- what if the big whammy comes and I di-"

"Hey." Angel interrupted, hopping off the counter. That image was already embedded in his mind. "Stop with that, okay? No whammies, no dying- just calm down." He looked down at her, examining her face. "You look very...pretty." He muttered.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Please. You HAVE to say that. You gotta keep your Seer going. You don't have to lie."

Angel chuckled. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, Cordy." He brushed a piece of hair from her face. An idea suddenly dawned on him. "Let me draw you, Cor."

Cordelia laughed. "What?"

"You heard me."

"What is this, Titanic? Are you Jack? I'm Rose?" She teased.

Angel bounced on his toes softly. "No...Titanic sucked. I just want to draw you. Give you something nice. I can do it by memory, but I want to give you an chance to chose your own portrait."

Cordelia's ears perked up. "Portrait? Really?" Angel nodded. "And you can do me justice? And do anything I want?" He nodded again. "Okay!" The girl stood up. "Draw me, baby."

Angel nodded, pleased. "Upstairs?"


Angel sat on the couch that rested in the vacant room. He whistled almost silently, fiddling with his materials. Drawing pad. Pencil. That's all he needed. Candles lit the room brightly. For some reason, the lights didn't work. The sounds of Beethoven echoed through the small boombox he had set up in the room. He sat and waited.

Cordelia walked into the room shyly. "Ready?" She called. Angel glanced up at her and smiled. "Don't laugh or anything...and close your eyes."

Angel sighed. "Cordy- I-" She started to unbutton her shirt. "U-Uh- Oh." He shut his eyes tightly, silently hoping he wouldn't see anything that would stay in his head for a reasonable amount of time.

"Okay Broody, I'm ready." Angel opened his eyes. Cordelia sat on the empty bed, a white blanket wrapped loosely around her body. Her short hair fell over her eyes. "Whatcha think?"

Angel froze and let out an unnecessary breath. "Uh- um, h-hold on-" He stood up, walking towards her. He gently pushed her back onto the bed. "Okay- you need to be on your side...um, looking at me...move the blanket a little-" He was trying desperately to control the huskiness his voice was taking. He backed away, tripping over his feet. "Uh- sorry..." He mumbled, sitting back down. Cordelia smiled and shifted on her side. She spread out along the bed, resting her head on her hand. She spread her legs ever so slightly, causing the fabric to fall off her leg. The girl tightened the top of the blanket tightly around her chest and smiled at the vampire. "Go ahead."

Angel gawked at her. "Kay." He blinked. "Um, let me see your face more. Push your hair back." She did so. "A- And let go of the blanket. It's not flattering." She opened her mouth, and Angel read her mind. "The blanket won't drop, don't worry. J-Just rest your hand over your waist." She did so. "Beautiful." Angel murmured.

Cordelia bit her lip, blushing. "Okay, Van Gogh. Hurry up before Wes comes and he thinks we're doing something horribly wrong."

Angel fought back a smile, sketching. "And that would be terrible." He drew Cordelia's body rather quickly, glancing at her every once in a while. He tried to keep his mind elsewhere, but couldn't. What was he thinking, asking to draw her?? Obviously abrupt thinking was not for him. He tried not to look at his friend's body. Everything was perfect. Her legs. Her arms. Her hips. Her breasts. Her face. Her hair. Everything. Angel's eyes slowly moved up the Seer's body to her face. Cordelia smiled at him. Angel smiled back and continued. His hand sketched her face slowly. He focused on every line, every feature. Angel furrowed his brow as he worked, careful to highlight her eyes and lips. His favorite features of hers. Of course, he loved everything about her; but the lips and eyes stood out. That's what made him live every day. He swallowed hard and continued.


Cordelia's smile grew wider. Angel simpered slowly. "You like it?" Cordelia nodded wildly peering at the paper that held her portrait. He liked it himself. It was classy. A classic beauty. He had manage to capture the light of her face. The frame of her body. The being that was Cordelia. "You're not lying now?"

Cordelia snatched the picture with her free hand, the other gripping the blanket. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." She stared at the picture. "You made me beautiful, Angel..." She whispered in awe.

Angel leaned in, looking over her shoulder. He clutched his pad nervously. "I didn't make you, Cordy." He murmured. "I just drew you."

Suddenly, Cordelia spun around and kissed him. Angel froze in shock. Cordelia's lips touched his gently, the feeling increasing. Angel dropped the pad, his hands fumbling to the girl's waist. He gripped the fabric tightly, unaware that he was slowly tugging it off. The blanket slowly slid down, and Angel yanked Cordelia to him. The kiss intensified, their bodies pressed together. Cordelia clenched his hair tightly. Suddenly, the closing of a door echoed up the stairs. Angel and Cordelia broke apart, breathing hard.

Cordelia hastily pulled up the blanket, bending over to pick up her clothes. "S-Sorry..." She gasped. "I-I got caught up-" She backed towards the door.

Angel licked his lips, trying to control himself. "I-I understand..." He adjusted his shirt, which had managed to get violently frazzled. "I- um-"

"Cordelia! Where are you!?" Wesley's voice boomed from below.

"I-I'm coming, Wes!" Cordelia called. She held her portrait tightly, then turned to go to the bathroom. She stopped. "You don't want a copy?" She asked quietly. Angel shook his head. She nodded quickly and ran off.

Angel turned numbly and started to blow out the candles. He didn't need a copy. The vampire blew out the last candle. It was already embedded in his mind.


Part 2

Angel whistled cheerfully, walking around the lobby with a handful of papers. Gunn grinned from his place on the couch. "Should we get a stake, Angel?"

Angel smiled slowly at the boy. "Nah...I'm just- just...chipper?"

"Chipper. That's a funny word." Angel jumped slightly as Fred appeared behind him. "I always think of Chip, this boy I knew in school- Hi, Cordy!"

Angel's head shot in Fred's direction. Cordelia walked down the stairs. He watched her walk past him to the offices, their eyes meeting for a second. All was silent until there was a yelp by Cordelia. Angel jogged into the office, followed by Gunn and Fred. He was met with Wesley's glare. Angel's eyes traveled to the paper Wes was clutching tightly. Oh, crap.

"Care to explain this?" Wesley muttered, apparently trying to avoid looking at the paper.

Angel hastily pushed Gunn and Fred out and shut the door. He did the only thing he could do in his mind. It worked for him many times before. He played stupid. "Uh- explain what? What's that?"

Cordelia quickly snatched the paper. "That's none of your business, Wes. It was on my desk."

Wesley stared at Cordelia in dismay. "Y-You're naked! You- Angel- what-"

"I was not naked!" She replied haughtily. "I was covered. Angel was naked." Wesley's eyes widened. Cordelia rolled hers. "Kidding, Wes. Kidding. It's just a picture I asked Angel to draw. We weren't even in the same room. He drew it from memory with the things I wanted in the picture. It was a gift."

Wesley's shocked statement slowly vanished. "Oh. I'm sorry then." He nodded towards Angel and walked out.

Angel waited for the door to close to flop in a seat in relief. "Oh, thank God..." He looked up at Cordelia. "Hi." He whispered.

Cordelia slowly smiled, folding the picture up and putting it in her pocket. "Hey."


Angel immediately groaned when the door closed. "I thought they would never leave...they honestly don't like the hotel that much, do they?"

Cordelia walked into the lobby, humming. "They're bored. No lives. Whatever." She handed him a cup of blood. He shook his head. "No?"

Angel shook his head again. "Not hungry..Fred still upstairs?"

Cordelia walked to the office. "Sleeping. She's been out for a couple of hours I think." Angel followed her into the room. "I'm surprised. She's actually becoming sane. It's refreshing." Cordelia spun around and jumped. " Angel!"


"Don't do that!" Angel muttered an apology. Cordelia rolled her eyes and sat on the desk. "Nothing like getting a heart attack to make a girl happy." She mumbled sarcastically.

Angel frowned. "You're not happy?"

Cordelia sighed, stretching her leg out. Angel's eyes watched her bare leg, moving up her skirt to her face. "I'm happy...I guess. All things considered." She glanced at the vampire. "Angel."

Angel snapped back to reality. "U-Uh? Happy?" He paused. "I really liked drawing you." He muttered quietly.

Cordelia smiled, almost forcefully. "I liked being drawn." She tried to keep a happy smile on her face.

Angel looked down at the floor, feeling foolish. "I also liked that...that-"

"Kiss." They both said in unison.

Cordelia chuckled. "I'm glad. I liked it too. But- but it was weird, you know?"

Angel looked up. "Let me make you happy." He said suddenly.

Cordelia frowned in confusion. "Huh?" Angel walked in front of her. He traced her lips with his fingers. "Angel..." He silenced her with a kiss. "Let me make you happy." He repeated, kissing her again. Cordelia tried to pull away, but then yanked him to her tightly. Angel gripped her hips, pulling her to him. His tongue explored her mouth, the kiss becoming more intense. Cordelia gripped his hair tightly, wrapping a leg around his hip. Angel pushed the Seer back slightly, climbing half way on top of her. She moaned, his kisses trailing down her face to her neck. Angel's hand drifted to her legs. His hand moved between her legs, finding her. Cordelia gasped in surprise, but lifted her hips to him. Angel began to stroke her softly, his mouth finding hers again. Cordelia gripped his hair tighter, moving her hips in rhythm to his movements. He pushed her further onto the desk, his stroking becoming more rapid. Cordelia's moans became louder. She threw her head back, letting Angel do whatever he wanted. She kissed the vampire hard, holding on to him tighter. Angel couldn't control his own desire as he moved faster below. Cordelia's hand drifted below and directed his hand. Angel buried his face in Cordelia's neck, biting and sucking on her flesh. Cordelia started to shake, her hand tightening on his. Angel gripped her hip firmly, increasing his strokes. Cordelia's cries echoed in his ears as she came violently. Then all was still.

Cordelia opened her eyes, staring at Angel. Angel unknowingly gasped in what could have been shock. He removed his hand from between her legs and kissed her gently.

"Happy?" He murmured. She nodded. Angel slowly climbed off the Seer, and she sat up; apparently trying to calm herself. Angel backed away until he hit the wall, and closed his eyes. "Good."

Cordelia stood up and walked towards him. She kissed him softly, her hand resting on his chest lightly. "Night, Broody." She whispered, opening the door. Angel caught her arm and pulled her towards him. The kiss was explosive, both moving for more. Finally, Cordelia pulled away. "Night." She said breathlessly and ran off.

Angel collapsed into the nearest chair. He shocked himself with that. "Night." He muttered. He swallowed hard, realizing what he had just done. He tried to think of the bright side. He had made her happy. At least one of them was.


Part 3

Angel sat up with a jolt, breathing hard for unnecessary air. He looked around the dark room, expecting something. Anything. He didn't know what. He buried his face in his hands. These dreams about Cordelia were getting more and more intense. And more vivid. He could almost taste her. He did. He could feel her skin under his hands. Her breath on his neck. Angel ran a nervous hand through his hair. It had been a week since he went crazy and done the unthinkable. He had 'taken' his Seer. And regretted nothing. Until now. He had grown increasingly paranoid during the week, taking every look anyone gave him, every mumble, every touch; and turned it into an accusation. He was grateful they weren't caught. Cordelia had smartly come in early the next day and fixed the office. It was like the memory was erased from her mind. She never mentioned it, never hinted at him, never looked at him differently. That was the kind of girl she was. Moment of weakness. The man overpowering the girl. All that good stuff.

A hard knock on his door. Angel jumped then stood up to answer it. "Yes?" He muttered, surprised at how dull his voice sounded. Sleep does a lot to a person. He leaned against the door, not opening it.


"Cor?" Angel swung the door open, looking at the girl. "What's wrong?"

A pause. A long pause. "Can you talk to me? Please?"

Angel frowned. "Why. What happened?" Cordelia muttered something. He couldn't make it out. "Cordelia."

"Nothing." She muttered. "Can you? I'm lonely. Please?"

Angel groaned silently. That voice. She had him. "Fine, Cordelia." He opened the door enough for her to enter, then shut it again. He sat on the bed. "Let's talk."

Cordelia jumped on the bed, spreading out. She propped herself on one elbow. "You were sleeping?" Angel nodded slowly. She cringed. "Sorry..."

Angel leaned back, propping himself on his elbows. "It's okay. Restless sleep." Her form would have been nearly non-existent in the dark, if it wasn't for the dim light from the window.

Cordelia gave him the once over. "You always sleep in boxers?" Angel stared at her, deadpan. Cordelia giggled and nudged him with her hand. "Answer me."

"I sleep naked. You caught me on a bad day." He smiled at his own wry joke.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Not much for just a simple lie, are you?"

Angel shook his head. "I don't lie. Well...not really...you know what I mean." He paused, trying not to look at Cordelia. "About the thing in the office-"

Cordelia held up her hand. "No. It happened. Can't turn back time now. It's over."

Angel blinked in surprise. "Oh. Okay. Good."

"You like sex, don't you?" Angel's head jolted towards her. He was unable to hide his shock. Cordelia blushed slightly. "I-I mean...wait- that's exactly what I mean. So? You do, don't you?"

Angel gave a shrug of his lower lip, still trying to absorb his shock. "W-Well...who doesn't?"

"I know that, silly. I mean, why do you like it? You can't have any- I mean- dammit help me."

"W-Well..." Angel stammered. Cordelia looked at him, waiting. He looked up at the ceiling. "It's pleasure, Cordy. Sinful pleasure. And pain. Sex is that thin line. You get pleasure- but you also get this pain. This horrible, wonderful ache. Can't describe it. You have to feel it."

Cordelia smirked. "I think I did. Lucky we don't have cameras." Angel slowly smiled. She was so peculiar. "It was cool."

Angel finally glanced at her, raising his eyebrow. "Cool? You thought me jumping on you, putting my hands down your panties, feeling you up, and giving you some pleasure and pain was cool?" Cordelia laughed quietly and nodded. Angel sighed good-naturedly. "I see...so you like a little S & M?"

Cordelia gave him a look of dismay. " WHAT?!" Angel chuckled. "I- I don't-"

"Yes you do." Angel interrupted calmly, his eyes boring into her. "You liked it. I know for a fact I hurt you. I made sure I did. Just to see how you would react."

Silence. "You didn't hurt me." Cordelia murmured.

Angel gently leaned over and pulled down the top of her pants slightly, revealing a couple of bruises. "Sorry about that." Cordelia pushed his hand away. "I really am."

"No you're not." Cordelia shot back, laying down on the pillows. "You like control." She said matter-of-factly. "You like causing feelings and emotions...no matter what they are. You saw it fit to force yourself on me-"

"Hey-" Angel said loudly, glaring at her. "You weren't complaining. You didn't exactly tell me to stop when I was making you scream-"

Cordelia closed her eyes. "You didn't make me scream, Dead Boy. You made me moan. Jeeze- after 248 years, you think you would know the difference..."

Angel shifted slightly, staring at her. "You think I don't know the difference between a scream and a moan?" Cordelia shrugged nonchalantly. "I do!" She ignored him.

Angel frowned. Cordelia started to hum. The vampire suddenly moved on top of the Seer, resting his body on top of hers. Cordelia's eyes jolted open. "Angel-"

Angel smirked at her. "Shut up." He started kissing her neck, and moved down. He kissed the fabric covering her body, down to her pants. Slowly, he pulled them down just enough. Cordelia laid perfectly still, not knowing what to do. Angel looked up at her and chuckled. "No underwear? I'm shocked, Cordy. I thought you were a good girl..."

Cordelia stared at the ceiling, swallowing hard. "You shouldn't think..."

Angel sucked his teeth then lowered his head between her legs. He started to move his tongue slowly, but roughly. Cordelia's fingers entangled themselves in his hair. He started to move faster, spreading her legs further apart. He knew exactly what he was doing. It had been a long, long time; but he remembered how to go down on a girl. He licked her up and down, finding her. Cordelia moaned quietly, raising her hips. He thrust his tongue out, gripping her thighs tight. Cordelia's moans became louder, and one of Angel's hands reached up and covered her mouth. "Fred." He whispered, moving his body over hers again. Cordelia bit her lip, trying to touch herself. Angel grabbed her hand and moved it away. He smiled. "Pleasure? Pain? Which one?" Cordelia didn't answer him, her hips thrusting uncontrollably. Angel moved his hand between her legs and began a familiar routine. Cordelia started to scream against his hand, and Angel lowered his face to her neck; kissing her flesh. For some reason, the smell of her blood was stronger, but he resisted. He stroked roughly and rapidly, until he felt her orgasm crash against him. Angel smiled to himself, her moans subduing.

"That's screaming." Angel informed her, his voice suddenly husky with lust. "Got it."

Cordelia closed her eyes, her grip on the sheets loosening. "Y- Yeah..." Angel kissed her neck again, then climbed off her. He laid down beside her. "Let me ask you a question, Angel..." She muttered breathlessly. He looked at her. "Why the hell do our meetings always end with me on my back, you on top of me, and me feeling really, reallyrelaxed?"

Angel smiled, his hand reaching over and stroking her hip. "Beats me."

Cordelia sighed. "Whatever."


Part 4 

Wesley frowned, placing the heavy text on the counter. "Where the bloody hell is Cordy? She's late for work."

Gunn calmly turned the page of his magazine. "She probably overslept. Don't have a heart-" Gunn was cut off by Cordelia stumbling down the Hyperion stairs. Her hair was messed up horribly and her clothes were wrinkled. Her hooded sweater fell unzipped off one shoulder. She rubbed her eyes and shuffled to the kitchen. "-attack." Gunn finished, watching her.

"Morning, Cordelia." Wesley spoke up. Cordelia mumbled a reply and made an attempt to make coffee. "Um...did you sleep overnight?"

Cordelia nodded slowly. "Yeah...um, I was researching...fell asleep...Angel gave me a room."

Wesley nodded. "Oh. How nice." He watched her move to the lobby, apparently in pain. "You alright, Cordy?"

Cordelia winced as she sat on the couch. "Yeah. Just...sore."

Gunn helped her put her cup down. "Why sore?"

Cordelia glared at the boy. "Because! That's why!" She painfully lifted her legs onto the table. "I-I had-"

"A long night." Angel spoke up from the top of the stairs, descending slowly. "She was working all night long." He smirked at her. She replied with a steady glare.

Wesley blinked in confusion. "Right..." He closed the book and his beeper promptly rang. The Brit glanced at it. "Oh! The book I ordered might have arrived from England! I have to go pick it up!" He ran out the door.

"Dork." Gunn and Cordelia muttered at the same time.

Angel flopped down next to Cordelia. "Morning, Cor." She continued to glare.

Gunn watched them, slightly confused. "This is going to be a fun day..."


Angel whistled softly as he skimmed through his book. "Night, Angel!" Gunn called from the lobby.

"Night, Gunn." Angel replied, finally closing the office door. He tossed the book over his shoulder and leered at Cordelia, sitting at her desk. "I thought they would never leave." Cordelia rolled her eyes. "What?"

"You are such a bastard, you know that?" She stood up, crossing her arms. Angel gave her a blank look. "You absolutely love the fact that you're doing something no one knows about."

Angel smiled slowly. "Except you..."

"Except me...hey! Shut up!" She stomped over in front of him. "What. Does it make you feel all...manly?"

Angel was starting to get annoyed. "Does what make me feel all manly?"

Cordelia glared steadily. "The fact that you have a hold on me."

Angel slowly smirked. "Maybe..."

"And the fact that you can hurt me and pleasure me at the same time?"

His face changed and he leaned in until they were less than an inch apart. "Possibly." He kissed her firmly. "I like to play games." He hissed. Cordelia shoved Angel hard, and he slammed into the door. He laughed in shock. "WHOA there, Cordy-"

Cordelia's angry statement changed. "I-I'm sorry, Angel..." She rubbed her face roughly. "I-I'm just out of it...you made me really sore...and you're still not happy..."

Angel held up his hands. "Hey- no- I told you- no happy." She slowly walked directly in front of him. She lowered her head to his neck, kissing him softly. "Cor- hey- I said-"

She bit his neck gently, her hands drifting down his chest to his hips. She unzipped his pants and found him quickly. Angel tried to push her away, but was slammed into the door again. She started to stroke him firmly, continuing her assault on his neck. Angel gripped the doorknob tightly, as his body responded to her actions. His body tensed up as she started to stroke harder. Cordelia's eyes met his as she lowered herself to her knees. Angel watched her warily. She took him in her mouth, moving with expert speed. Angel groaned loudly, his free hand clutching her hair. Cordelia sucked on him firmly and ran her fingers down his chest. Angel groaned loudly, the back of his head hitting the door.

"Cor- Cordy-" He gasped. "I-I'm-" Suddenly, Cordelia stopped. Angel's head shot down.

The Seer stood up slowly, smirking. "You said sex was about pleasure and pain right?" The discomfort on his face was clearly evident. "Well...you had the pleasure...now here's the pain." She pushed her body onto his hard, causing Angel to moan loudly. She kissed him hard, her tongue invading his mouth. She pulled away, biting his lower lip. Cordelia smiled wickedly. "I love playing games, don't you?" She kissed Angel gently, then pushed him out of the way, opening the door. She took one step out. "Night, baby..." She walked out.

Angel stood in shock, his discomfort growing. "Oh- oh-" He stammered. " COME ON!!" He groaned once more, then limped to the bathroom.


Part 5

Their system worked. Cordelia and Angel's plan worked. It was almost too good. Pleasure in exchange for pleasure. It had been two months since Cordelia's assault on Angel in the office. He hadn't forgotten. He got his revenge just one day later. Made her beg him for anything that resembled release. Then he refused to give it to her. Left her on the floor of her kitchen shouting curses at him. Nothing he hadn't been called before. After a few days of glaring and silence, they both put it behind them without a word about it. But the system didn't change. Cordelia found herself staying at the Hyperion once a week. Once a week turned into twice a week. Twice a week turned to every other day. Now every night it was the Seer at the hotel or the vampire at the apartment. Always late at night. Four hours was all they needed. However, there were problems. Cordelia often ended up with bruises on her hips, a product of Angel being too controlling. Angel regularly ended up with scrapes on his shoulders from the girl's nails. This usually happened only when he went down on her. When he decided to go manually, he ended up with bite marks on his shoulders and neck. Nothing he wasn't used to. Luckily he healed quickly. Cordelia wasn't so blessed. She stopped wearing low cut pants and midriffs. Angel couldn't help but feel guilty, but that was the way their system was. Always intense. Cordelia had even noticed a change in Angel. Not a vast transformation, but just enough. She witnessed a change in his demeanor when they had one of their `encounters'. He became rough, and she did the same in return. But it never bothered her. It was always in the moment.

They had kept this secret from everyone. For two months they had their own `club'. And for some reason, Angel fancied that. He would crack jokes, sick jokes, about sex and pain. This left the others staring at him in confusion. But that didn't disturb Cordelia as much as the fact that she found those jokes funny. She found his dark humor amusing. But that was just a minor change. Nothing to worry about.

At the moment, Cordelia and Angel sat in Wesley's office. Cordelia sat with her laptop in front of her, listening to MP3's and playing games. Angel sat beside her with a book in his hand. The other three, Wesley, Fred, and Gunn; sat along the counter, playing a game of Scrabble. A slow night it was.

Cordelia hummed along to her music when she suddenly gasped. A cold hand rested on her bare knee and was slowly making it's way up her leg. She glanced at Angel, who hadn't changed. He still sat reclined in the leather chair, holding his book with one hand. His face was in deep thought, apparently engrossed in his book. Or so it seemed. Cordelia gasped loudly when he reached between her legs. The vampire slowly shifted his chair, smartly blocking his hand and Cordelia from view of their friends. The Seer looked up through the window, where Gunn was bragging his victory. They were utterly clueless.

"Angel-" Cordelia exhaled, as his strokes began. "N-Not now...they're right there..." Angel did nothing but crack the tiniest of smiles. He turned the page of his book with his finger, and increased his fingering below the desk. Cordelia gripped the edge of the desk with one hand, the other clutching the arm of her chair. The vampire continued his actions nonchalantly, only glancing out the window every once and a while. "My God- oh-" Cordelia covered her mouth tightly, trying to muffle her moans. Angel caught her discomfort and gave her one solid stroke. Just to see her reaction. She let out a diminutive cry, gritting her teeth. He raised an eyebrow. "God- Angel...God..."

"Don't call me that." He finally spoke in a whisper. His face continued to remain emotionless, but his eyes told a different story. He was amused beyond reason. "A god can't do this...a god can't make you we-"

"Angel?" Angel's head flipped to the door. Fred stood there, smiling. He quickly pulled his leg up on the desk, and rested his book upright on the arm of his chair, blocking any view she could have had.

Angel smiled brightly at the young girl. "Hey, Fred." He started to rub Cordelia hard, enjoying the sudden risk they were taking. Cordelia gasped and buried her face in her hands.

Fred grin faded slightly. "Is Cordy okay?" Cordelia's shoulders began to heave and she whimpered quietly. "Cor?"

Angel shrugged. "She lost her game. Taking it pretty hard." He fingered her slowly. Cordelia almost collapsed from the sensation.

"Um, okay." She answered. "Angel, we were wondering...had a debate...can you really speak Gaelic?"

"YES." Cordelia groaned between her hands. "He speaks a bunch of languages. He's been around the block a couple of times." Angel nodded wildly in agreement.

Fred smiled. "Okay- thanks! Bye!"

"Bye!" Angel imitated her cheerful exit and continued his `game'.

"Angel..." Cordelia pleaded. Her hand drifted below and gripped his hand tightly. He stopped. Instead of pulling him away, she began to guide him. Angel slowly smiled, taking her lesson into consideration. He turned the page of his book, reading calmly. Cordelia lowered her head, his hand increasing the pressure. She breathed hard, trying not to scream. Angel felt her orgasm approaching, and he started to provide rough strokes to get her there. She finally came violently, biting her hand to stop any sounds from coming out. After she had composed herself, he removed his hand. Cordelia slouched in her chair, breathing hard. Slowly, she turned her head to look at the vampire sitting next to her. He hadn't changed, still deeply engrossed in his book. But a tiny hint of a smile played on his lips.


After a few hours, everyone had pretty much left. Fred had gone to her room, and the two men were out the door. As soon as Wesley had closed the door, Angel had dashed across the room and grabbed Cordelia from behind. He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other resting on her stomach. He nibbled and sucked on her neck, trying to push her into the office. Cordelia dig her heels into the polished floor, stopping all attempts. She closed her eyes and leaned into Angel's chest, her breathing quickening with each bite. He started to slowly grind against her, his hold on her waist tightening. Finally, Cordelia pulled away with all her force.

Angel frowned slightly. "What." He started to walk toward her.

Cordelia backed away until she hit the counter. "Angel- look. We have to stop. What if they find out? We've been really pushing it lately and we could really just lose it-" She was interrupted by Angel's chuckling. "What?"

Angel put his hands on the Seer's shoulders, rubbing up and down her arms. "Hey- no one is going to fine out. And we won't lose it, okay?" Cordelia opened her mouth to reply, and Angel silenced her with a kiss. "No losing." He slowly dropped to his knees. "We'll be okay." He kept his eyes on Cordelia, lifting up her skirt. "No one will find out..." He pushed her panties over slightly. "And we'll be in total control." He lowered his face in between her legs.

Cordelia closed her eyes. "We're in control..." She gasped, her fingers winding into Angel's hair. "We're in control...we won't lose it..."


Part 6

They lost it. They were no longer in control. It had started wrong to begin with. Cordelia had stomped up to Angel's room, furious. He had made a rather derogatory comment at Cordelia in front of the rest of the team, enough to make her visibly embarrassed. `Wild, Tight Bitch' was not a phrase to be muttered in the presence of others. But she had waited until the others were gone at a movie to make her anger known. She stalked into his room, slamming the door behind her. The vampire had spun around, and looked happy to see her. He walked to her, leaning down to give her a kiss, and when he did, she slapped him hard across the face. Hard enough to make her palm sting. Angel flew back several steps, holding onto his face. He looked genuinely hurt and confused. He really had no idea why she had slapped him. Cordelia felt guilt override her, and she moved toward him, mumbling apologies. That's when he struck. Angel grabbed the Seer by the hair and flung her across the room, right into the table. She hit the table hard enough to knock the wind out of her, and before she could react, he had grabbed her again and thrown her on the bed. Angel climbed on top of Cordelia and kissed her hard. After a few seconds of trying to push him off, she pressed him to her, returning anything he gave her. Their clothes were ripped and thrown to the floor, left behind in their `game'.

And that's how they got to where they were. Angel on top of Cordelia, thrusting as hard as he could into her. He had his face buried in her neck, sucking on it. Her leg was thrown over his hip, and she held onto his back tightly. She let loose, allowing any scream and cry to come out. Angel got onto his knees, Cordelia's hips followed. He rested himself on his elbows, pounding into her harder. She looked at his face and almost lost it. He stared at her with such intensity. Cordelia gritted her teeth, thrusting hard, trying to get any reaction from him. Something in Angel's eyes changed. He roughly grabbed her hands, pinning them to the mattress. She cried out slightly, his grip on her wrist tensing. He drove himself into Cordelia, each thrust rougher and harder than the last. Cordelia gasped loudly. He was starting to hurt her. The vampire buried his face in her neck again, a low growl coming from his throat. He began to move faster, the bed actually rocking with their movement.

"Angel..." Cordelia whispered, trying to lift her hands. "Angel- you're hurting me-" He ignored her, continuing his movement. She tried to protest again, but he bit her shoulder hard, causing her to cry out. She tried to fight against him, attempting to sit up. Angel's thrusts increased, and despite herself, she cried out. Her nails dug into his hands, and her back arched, as she started to climax. Her orgasm hit hard, her body crashing against his. He collapsed on top of her, his grasp on her wrists easing. They laid still for several minutes, Cordelia closing her eyes.

Finally, Angel opened his eyes, swallowing hard. His eyes drifted to Cordelia's face. She was too still, her face pale and almost battered. Bruises were beginning to form along her neck and down her shoulders. She had a red mark just below her cheek. Angel touched her face gently, almost fearfully. "Cordelia...Cordy." She groaned, stirring slightly. Her eyes opened, trying to focus. She shifted painfully. "Oh, God...I'm sorry- I'm so sorry..."

After a few seconds, a smile appeared on Cordelia's face. A forced smile. "Hey, I can take it....come on." He returned the smile, slightly confused, as Cordelia pulled him to her.

"I-I don't know what happened..."

"It's okay..." Cordelia whispered. She hugged him tightly, trying to ignore the fear that was threatening to scream out.


Cordelia watched Angel intently. He was spread out on the couch, deeply engrossed in his book on the battles of the soul. It was almost ironic, if not for the fact Angel was way too into it. His face carried a profoundly serious look, his eyes running side to side rapidly. The Seer shifted in her position on the lime green futon, pushing her magazine out of the way. She fixed the scarf around her neck, and glanced at the door. She was amazed at how easy it was to avoid the rest of the group. They attributed Cordelia and Angel's sudden reluctance to join them for dinner as mood swings. Plain and simple.

The girl cleared her throat loudly. Angel's eyes slowly drifted up, as if the task of breaking away from his book was too much. "Cord?"

"Angel," Cordelia sat up, turning her body to fully face the vampire. "We're not going to talk about what happened yesterday, are we?"

Angel swung his legs over the couch and sat upright. His book dropped to his lap. "You...want to talk about it? I-I mean, I don't know what got into me- it wasn't me- I told you I was sor-"

Cordelia held her hand up. "It's not that, Angel. Are you playing me?"

"What?" Angel blinked, standing up. Cordelia stood up as well. "Cordelia- playing you? I don't understand."

She shrugged. "My mistake. Whatever." Angel nodded slowly, watching her. The Seer walked past Angel, grabbing her purse and jacket. "Tell the guys I went home early, long day. Night."

Angel barely nodded, his eyes still on her. "Night." He turned to walk upstairs.

Cordelia stopped at the door, and turned around. "Oh, Angelus?" Angel turned around before he could stop himself. Cordelia nodded grimly. "I thought so." She walked out, leaving Angel staring at the closed door in shock.


Part 7 



"I-I said 'Morning'."

Cordelia looked up from her position at Wesley's desk, and gave Angel a knowing, yet patronizing smile. "Of course you did..." She turned back to her game of solitaire.

Angel looked out to the lobby, finding it empty. It was too early for anyone to be in. The sun was barely up. Yet Cordelia sat there, calmly playing on the computer and sipping her lemon iced tea. It had been a week since Cordelia called Angel out, to his surprise. A rough week. The two lovers had managed to stay out of each other's way. Angel had to handle this new and sudden adjustment with cold showers and grueling workouts in the basement. Cordelia, however, was calm and collected. She showed no memory of the past few weeks. There were no more touches or looks on her side. Just a cold, and often blank demeanor. Only towards Angel. He couldn't stop the feelings of hurt and confusion. He didn't know what was going on. Not at all.

"Why are you here?" The vampire demanded suddenly.

Cordelia once again looked up from the screen. "Why am I here? Why is anyone here? What's the meaning of life? Why do bad things happen to good people? Who keeps giving Mariah Carey movie scripts?" She chuckled dryly. "Mysteries of life..."

Angel slammed his hands down on the desk, leaning forward. "Cut it out, Cordelia." He muttered. "What's going on? With us."

Cordelia smiled, then leaned forward. "What do you mean?"

"Dammit, Cordelia- you know exactly what I mean. We're all...different."

Something in Cordelia's eyes changed. "We became different when you shoved your hand between my legs." She replied curtly.

Angel lowered his head, accepting the bare truth. "I know." He muttered. "But now. What about now? It was-"

"Good morning, Angel!" Fred's cheerful voice rang down the stairs.

Angel quickly straightened up and spun around, trying in vain to seem 'normal'. "Hiya, Fred. How are you?" He didn't pay attention to the young girl's answer. His mind was going a hundred miles a minute. He needed to resolve this conflict with Cordelia, and soon. After a few minutes, with Fred still talking, Angel smiled. Fred giggled, thinking Angel fancied her joke, but he knew better. He figured out how he was going to get into Cordelia's good graces again. The vampire turned and looked at his Seer, who was very much into her game. His smile grew wider. She will see the real him. Soon.


Cordelia picked up her bag and her jacket, and turned off the lights. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dark as she headed through the lobby to the front door. She opened the door slowly, and almost immediately it was slammed shut. Cordelia jumped back, then relaxed. "Dammit, Angel."

Angel's sigh was heard from the shadows. "Sorry. We need to talk."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "I don't want to talk."

"I do."

"Fine." The Seer threw down her bag dramatically and stared directly ahead, hoping Angel was standing there. "We'll talk." Silence. "Angel." Nothing. She couldn't stop the goose bumps that started to crawl up and down her arms. "A-Angel." A cold hand rested on her arm, and she yelped.

Angel quickly covered Cordelia's mouth. "Ssh. It's just me...you know that." He let her go.

Cordelia spun around, Angel's face somewhat visible. "Yeah, just you...whoever you are." Angel ignored her last comment. "Well?"

"I-I want to talk." Angel muttered, grabbing her jacket and fumbling with it. "I want to talk and I don't know how...I don't know how to do this."

Cordelia glared at him. "Let me help you out. You screwed me over! What the hell is your problem?! You could've gotten us both hurt! Worse! What is wrong with you?!"

"It was the only way..." Angel whispered, his face painfully shamed. "It was the only way I could be with you without the curse...I let him- so I can- I thought you wouldn't-" Cordelia grabbed her bag off the floor. Angel shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, I understand." Cordelia snatched her jacket back, pushing her way past angel. "You're sick. You're so sick."

Suddenly, Cordelia felt a cool body press against her. "But you liked it..." Angel growled in her ear, his arm wrapping around her waist. "You liked all of it." His other hand pulled the bag off her bare shoulder. "You like it and it scares you, doesn't it?" His hand made it's way down her body. "I know you, you're so scared..."

"Angel- stop." Cordelia's breathing quickened. "Angel- God..." His hand slipped between her legs forcefully. She gasped, her body immediately reacting to his touch. She tried to push him away as he kept on rambling. "Please- stop..." With all her strength, she shoved Angel away.

Angel stumbled back a few steps, and frowned. "Cordy..." He moved towards her.

"Get away from me!" Cordelia shouted, stepping back. "What- you're sick! Why would you think Angelus would-"

The vampire shook his head, either not comprehending or choosing not to. "No- I'm right. You liked it." A glint of realization flashed in his eyes. "You- you knew..."

Cordelia shook her head. "No- I didn't. YOU-"

"You liked it." Angel interrupted, a delirious smile playing on his lips. "You liked it- that's why you kept on- you knew exactly what was going on."

"No I didn't! Angel- you're talking crazy! Listen to me!"

"See? We're so much alike- I knew it..."

"Are you even listening to me?! Angel!"

"You knew what I was doing- you loved it- you got to feel me-"


"You liked it all...the pain...the danger...the biting....the hits..." Angel 's smile suddenly faded, and it was like he came back to earth. "Oh my God, Cordelia..." He suddenly felt ill. "I'm so sorry. God...I need help." He looked up at Cordelia. "Please, help me...I-I can't do this anymore- I can't control it..."

Wordlessly, Cordelia dashed over and kissed Angel hard, knocking them both back a few steps. Angel stood there in shock as Cordelia ripped his shirt open, working her way down his chest. He gaped at his Seer and forced her to look at him. She smiled. A different kind of smile. "You are going to fuck me." She hissed, her eyes blazing. "As hard as you can-"

"W-What? Cordy- no!" He tried to push the girl away as her tongue ran down his stomach. "No!" Her eyes met his. Angel stared at her sadly. "What's wrong with you? This...this isn't you..."

Cordelia jolted to his level, glaring at him. "Fuck you." She muttered, kissing him hard enough to make his head slam against the door.

The glass cracked, the only sound in the now silent hotel. Angel stood there, frozen, as Cordelia's hands made their way to his pants. She jerked his pants open, tearing the fabric. They locked eyes once again, and something flashed in Angel's. His hands yanked her skirt up hastily as she started to yank his pants down. He grabbed Cordelia roughly, and spun them both around. He slammed her against the door, the glass cracking more. Cordelia grinned as Angel picked her up, pinning her against the already fragile glass. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he entered her roughly. Cordelia screamed, holding onto Angel for dear life. He pounded into her, the glass cracking with each movement. She met every thrust, each one rougher and harder than the last. The vampire bit the Seer's neck, sucking on it. She gasped and gripped his back, her nails digging into his skin through the fabric of his shirt. Her cried got louder as he moved faster. Finally, she climaxed, her body moving frantically. Angel came after, his hands gripping her legs tightly. They both fell to the floor exhausted, Cordelia on top of Angel. He swallowed hard, trying to calm himself down. They laid there in silence. Finally, the glass came crashing down.


Part 8

Cordelia stared straight ahead, her hand absently stirring her cup of black coffee. "You let me violate you." She sang monotonously. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but that didn't matter. No one else was in the office. The others had ran off to question an owner of a club that might have been housing demons. No one was there. Just her and the black coffee. "You let me desecrate you." She could hear the swishing of broom against floor, and the crackling of glass against plastic.

The night was intense. It was the only way to describe it. It went on and on. Cordelia and Angel had managed to gather themselves up just as Wesley and Gunn walked in with breakfast. Gunn had expressed immediate concern, asking what had attacked them. They had no clue. No. Fucking. Clue.

Angel walked into the office, broom and dustpan in hand. He quietly dumped the shards of glass into the trashcan. Cordelia watched his back steadily. "I wanna fuck you like an animal." She muttered in a low voice. He stopped for a moment, and then set the broom on the wall. He rested the dustpan next to it, and then moved for the door. She made a noise resembling a high-pitched moan, and he stopped yet again, turning his head slightly. She smirked. "I wanna feel you from the inside."

"I'm sorry." He finally spoke, his voice barely heard.

"What was that?"

His back remained to her. "I'm SORRY."

She giggled. "For?"

Angel turned completely, his eyes full of shame. "For last night. I' m.sorry." She continued to smile, staring at him. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose roughly. "Last night." He gestured with his hand. "I'm sorry.for what I did. For what I've been doing. I shouldn't have." He sighed again, stepping forward. The vampire grabbed Cordelia's arm, staring at the fresh, red marks on her skin. "I'm sorry for that."

Cordelia jerked her arm away, glaring at him. "You got it worse than me."

Angel shifted uncomfortably. "I can put on a shirt." She remained silent. He lowered his head. "We- that.it shouldn't have happened."

"It's been happening like that for months." Cordelia replied icily, taking a long sip of her coffee.

"I know."

"Whatever. You're sorry.everyone's sorry." She stood up and walked over to the trashcan. Her attempts at hiding her slight limp didn't go unnoticed by Angel. He followed her, stopping a foot from her. She leaned forward, picking up a piece of glass from the can.

"What are you doing?" The girl started to poke her finger with the sharpest edge of the glass, the shard digging into her skin and producing tiny droplets of blood. "Hey-" He reached over and grabbed Cordelia's wrist. "Stop that."

She jerked her arm away and spun around, her back hitting the wall. "DON'T touch me!"

"Give me the glass-"


"GIVE me the glass-" They started struggling, Cordelia trying to escape her entrapment against the wall and Angel trying to take the potential weapon. "Cordy- what's wrong with you- stop it!" She started hitting him and he moved his body away from her slaps. The Seer managed to break free and headed towards the door. Angel followed her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. "Cordelia, what the hell-" He was cut off by the glass slicing across his face. He stumbled back, holding onto his cut cheek.

Cordelia glared at Angel, dropping the glass and stomping out of the office. He stared at the open door numbly, her hand pressing against the thin cut she had just made.


Wesley, Fred, and Gunn stared at Angel. He stared back.

The Watcher cleared his throat. "A-Angel.when did you begin smoking?"

The vampire stared at the man blankly, taking a long drag out of his lit cigarette. He blew the smoke out. "When did you start acting like a man?"

Wesley blinked, slightly surprised at his response. "Angel."

Gunn stood up, yanking both the Watcher and Fred up. "I think we should go get dinner." He muttered, the annoyance clear in his voice. "Yo- CORDY!" Silence filled the hotel. "CORDELIA!" Nothing. The boy shook his head. "Let' s go." He led the two out of the hotel.

The second the three had exited, Cordelia walked down the stairs and into the lobby. She silently made her way to the small table behind the counter, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

Angel hesitated, then stood up, snuffing out his cigarette onto the floor. He walked over to her side. "Hi."

She sipped her coffee, then picked up an apple from the mini- fridge. "Hi." She selected a knife and began to cut the piece of fruit.

"Why did you attack me?" He demanded.

Cordelia halted, her glare piercing through him. "YOU? Why did I attack YOU?"


She slammed the knife and apple down. "YOU attacked me."

Angel returned her glare. "You were hurting yourself!"

"No I wasn't! YOU hurt me!"

The vampire froze. She was right. All those months, he had been hurting her. "You're right..." He mumbled, frozen. "You're right. I've been hurting you.I 'm sorry."

Her eyes softened gradually, and she sighed. "Oh, God, Angel.I didn't mean-"

"I'm sorry it was your fault." He interrupted her.

"My fault?"

"Y-You did it. You did it all." Before Cordelia could react, Angel had grabbed her wrist, forcing her to face him fully. "You MADE me feel for you- you made me want you.it hurt- you made it hurt, Cordelia."

"I NEVER-" The Seer started to struggle with him, trying to pull her arm away so urgently that her entire body was bending down to do so. "Angel! I didn't-"

Angel gripped her wrist tighter, getting a cry from her. "You tried to mess with me- played with my head all that time.teased me and laughed at me and made me do things- you tricked me and played with me- enough is ENOUGH, Cordelia." He jerked her body into the counter, turning her cup of coffee over. The black liquid ran onto the wood. "WHY do you keep playing with me?!" Anger flashed in his eyes.

Cordelia gripped Angel's shirt, trying to shove him away. "You're scaring me, stop it! Let go!" She got her arm free and shoved him away. "You're fucking crazy!" She screamed, rubbing her arm. "Don't you DARE come near me again!" She backed up into the desk, glaring at him.

Angel stared at Cordelia in shock. "Cordy.I."

She shook her head. "No!" She shrieked, her eyes wild. "We're not friends-" She reached across her desk, grabbing a piece of paper and crumbling up. "Take your DAMN picture-" She threw the wad of paper at him. "And leave me ALONE!" She grabbed her jacket and started towards the door.

"Cordy, no. Don't leave-" The knife was picked up.

"Leave me ALONE!" He was walking towards her.

"You can't do this. It wasn't me." Right behind her.

"YES it WAS."

It all happened so quickly. Angel didn't even feel any of it. He didn't feel his hand grabbing Cordelia's arm and spinning her around.

He didn't feel her cutting words stabbing his heart.

He didn't feel the slaps hitting his chest and face.

And he didn't feel the knife sliding into Cordelia's stomach effortlessly.

All Angel heard was the loud gasp.


Part 9

//"Look at me."

Angel's eyes drifted down to Cordelia's hazel ones. "I'm always looking at you."

"I know." She looked around, brushing a strand of streaked hair from her face. Her teeth started to nip and bite at her lower lip nervously. "This is a nice place."

"I know." Angel rested his hands on the Seer's shoulders, tilting his head so he was looking into her eyes. "It's better than before." He paused, looking at the shadow behind her. "You're better here."

"No, I'm not." He froze, looking at her. She smiled blankly. "Are you gonna kiss me now or just keep staring?"

The vampire smiled and lowered his face to Cordelia's, kissing her gently. Their embrace grew deeper and more intense, until Angel pulled away. He unconsciously started to breathe hard. The girl stared at him quizzically. "Let me..." He said in a hushed whisper.

"Let you what?"

"Hurt you." His grip tightened on her shoulders. "You want me to- let me."

Cordelia stared at Angel, a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. Suddenly, the look disappeared, replaced with a grin. "Okay." He returned her smile. "Okay…" The girl's hand drifted down to her stomach. He looked down, seeing her blood soaked stomach. She looked up at him, a hint of playfulness in her eyes. "Just be more creative this time, okay?" She sighed, exasperated. "Angel..."//


Angel opened his eyes slowly, coming out of his reverie. He focused on Wesley and Gunn's worried expressions. He smiled. "Hey, guys."

Wesley frowned, looking around the waiting room. He turned his gaze back to Angel. "What happened with Cordelia?"

"Cordelia?" Angel chuckled quietly, and it turned into a full-blown laugh. "That was…wow. I've seen a lot of things back in the day, but this just shocked-"

Gunn scowled, crossing his arms. "Let's try again. HOW did Cordelia get a butcher knife through her stomach? HOW did she get a dozen stitches? HOW did you two end up here?"

The vampire rolled his eyes, sitting up. "She didn't get a dozen stitches. It was just a flesh wound- all vital organs were missed-"

"HOW did she get stabbed?" Gunn interrupted sharply.

Angel sighed painfully. "She stabbed herself." Wesley and Gunn looked at each other in shock. The odd man out shrugged. "I-I tried to stop her." He leaned forward. "Cordelia has some serious problems, guys."


Cordelia opened her eyes, staring into a stark whiteness. "Uh- I'm dead."

"No, you're not."

She sat up slowly, seeing a very worried looking Fred across from her. "Hi?" The girl smiled. "Um, Fred- what am I doing here?"

Fred frowned. "You don't remember?" Cordelia shook her head. "You stabbed yourself…"


"Angel told us."

"He WHAT?"

Fred sighed, pushing her glasses up. "Cordy, why didn't you tell us you were having problems? We could've helped…gotten therapy or something. We would've listened. You don't ever have to think you're alone, you know that, right?"

Cordelia shook her head wildly, and then stared at Fred. "Fred, listen to me. I did NOT stab myself. I was stabbed-"

"Angel told us you would try to change your story."

"Fred, NO. Listen!"

The door of the hospital room opened, and Wesley poked his head in. "May I come in?" Fred nodded. The ex-Watcher walked in, smiling at Cordelia. "Hi, Cordy. Ready to go home?"

Cordelia stared at Wesley, a confused look spread on her face. "Y- Yeah."

Wesley smiled brighter. "We're going to make sure you're okay, Cordelia." She simply stared at him.


Cordelia paced the dark room slowly and sighed. They didn't trust her. She wasn't allowed to be alone at her apartment, even with Dennis there. She was taken to the hotel. Every piece of "harmful substance" was removed from her presence and hidden. Every half hour, someone would poke his or her head in just to "check up on her". Everyone but Angel.

She sat on the corner of the large bed, lifting up her pink shirt. She stared at her bandaged wound for several minutes. Dark bruises had settled around the white fabric, the only visible evidence of the attack earlier. She didn't even remember the whole thing, just bits and pieces. Like Angel's eyes. It wasn't Angel.

A small knock came at the door. She looked up, gazing at the door. "Come in."

Angel poked his head in, smiling slightly. "Can I come in?"

"Come in."

He walked in, closing the door. They stared at each other for several moments. Finally, he spoke. "Are you okay?"

Her hand curled into a fist, and her nails started to dig into flesh. "All things considered."

Angel nodded, waiting a moment before moving across the room and sitting beside the girl. She didn't look at him. "The pain should go away in a few days…we should check the gash out later, just in case, you know."

"Why did you stab me?" Cordelia demanded stridently, turning to face him.

He immediately appeared puzzled. "What?"

The fist grew tighter. She could feel droplets of blood on her skin. "You HEARD me."

"I didn't stab you." Cordelia lifted her shirt, showing him the binding. He frowned. "Cordelia." Nothing. "I didn't stab you."

She stood up and faced him. He could feel the cold coming from her. "Get out."


Cordelia walked towards the door, her hand resting on the doorknob. "I want you out. I don't want to see you until you get REAL and talk to me like a human being. I'm sick of you treating me like a moron. I know what's-" She spun around and jumped. Angel was right in front of her. "-Up."

The vampire stepped forward until the Seer was planted against the entrance. "Don't give me that…" He murmured.

"Get out." Cordelia whispered, trying to push him away. She turned around, her hand on the doorknob again.

Angel slammed her face first against the door, pushing his body against hers. A surprise yelp came out of her mouth as his body pressed closer. One cold hand slipped under her pink shirt, touching the bandage. The Seer stiffened up as he ripped the bandage off. She held back a cry as the hot sting flowed through her skin.

"Get out?" He muttered, pushing one hand on her still fresh wound. Cordelia couldn't hold in the whimper of pain and gripped Angel's wrist tightly. "Oh, don't be a baby-" He hissed in her ear.

She tried to step backwards and was shoved into the door again, producing a loud bang. "Angel..." She whispered, feeling his free hand slipping into her jeans. His other hand pressed harder to her wound. "A-Angelus?" She tried again.

Angel removed his hand from her stomach and grabbed her hair, forcing her head back. "Why do you keep calling me that?" He kissed her hard, his hand finally slipping between her legs swiftly. He began the procedure, moving his hand up and down. Cordelia buckled at his touch, her head hitting the door. He swung her around, pushing her towards the bed.

"N-No- Wes- the guys…they're down stairs…"

"No, they're not." The vampire replied. Both fell onto the bed. He started to tug her jeans down, his mouth moving down her neck. She tried to shove him off, but with no avail. "You're gonna feel the pain, honey- can you feel it?" Suddenly, Cordelia whipped around on her back, staring at him. Angel smirked. "What?"

Cordelia gazed at him before silently lowering his head to her neck. Angel chuckled and immediately responded, nipping at the skin. He started to move lower, biting and licking her skin. Her collarbone. Her cleavage. Her stomach.

The vampire stopped at her stomach. Her wound was open. The blood was dripping down her flesh. He looked up at her. "Let me…" Without hesitation, she pushed his head down to her gash, letting him lick the blood from her stomach. The pain was blurred by the abrupt gratification coming in sequences. She stared at the ceiling blankly, her body reacting as he began to pleasure her with his hands. Her body jerked and arched in pleasure for him. His teeth scraped at her skin, opening her wound more.

She didn't feel a thing.


Part 10 

Angel opened his eyes slowly. A small ray of sun rested right by his head and he immediately rolled away from the harm that was sure to come to him. He sat up and looked around. He barely remembered the night before. He smelled Cordelia. A lot of her. Blood. He tasted blood. His eyes drifted to the bed. The light blue sheets were crumpled and pulled all over the place, with spots of blood decorating the fabric. The same could've been said about his clothes. The headboard was several inches from the wall, and he stared at it in utter confusion.

The loud sound of the shower running broke Angel out of his puzzled daze. He stood and walked over to the slightly open door. He heard a radio playing an acoustic song softly, barely heard over the roar of water hitting ceramic tiles. His hand pushed the heavy door open slightly, and he could see the curvy frame in the shower curtain. He grew bolder and shifted sideways to get a better look. Half in and half out of the room, he watched Cordelia steadily. She moved somewhat stiffly, he noticed, and couldn't help but feel a bit guilty even if he didn't know why. He moved in closer.

Cordelia let the hot water hit her body, closing her eyes. She ran a hand over her still fresh wound and flinched. He had sucked all the blood from her gash- enough to make her dizzy. Her hand rested on the smooth wall for balance, and she lifted her head, the steam surrounding her.

Suddenly, the curtain was ripped open. The Seer spun around and came face to face with Angel. She began to cover her naked form. "Angel."


Her eyes hardened. "Don't you knock?"

A grin slowly appeared on Angel's face. "Nothing I haven't seen before, right?"

"Yeah, yeah." She muttered as she reached for the white towel hung over the metal curtain bar. The vampire tugged the towel on his side, pulling it out of the girl's reach. She tried again, and he did the same. She glared at him. "Angel."

Angel stared at Cordelia, slightly bemused. "What's wrong?"

Cordelia finally grabbed the towel, wrapping it around her body. "What's wrong? You're acting like we're a couple-" A slightly hurt look appeared on his face. She ignored it. "You think last night won't have some sort of effect on our-"

"Take the towel off."

She couldn't hide the slightly confused look that came over her face because of his abrupt request. "W-What?"

He crossed his arms slowly, the wounded look on his face completely gone. "You heard me." A smile played on the corner of his mouth. "Do it."

Cordelia stared at Angel for more than a minute, debating whether he was serious or not. The determination never left his eyes. Her hands gradually moved to the top of the towel, undoing it from her body. It dropped to the cold floor of the shower, immediately getting rained on. She stood there, and slowly lifted her head high, looking down at the man in front of her.

Angel watched Cordelia for several minutes. The superior look she gave him began to eat at his mind. Who was she to look at him like that? He stepped forward into the shower, ignoring the water hitting his clothes. He moved forward until she was pinned to the wall. "How does it feel?" He whispered, his fingers running down her stomach slowly.

"How does what feel?" She breathed, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

"Being exposed. Only because I told you to…" His shirt was stripped from his body.

She pushed her body against his chest, feeling him harden at her touch. "I didn't do it for you..." She muttered.

"Then whom did you do it for?" She didn't answer. He smiled, his hands traveling up her stomach, between her breasts. "It's okay…you don't have to be in control all the time, Cordelia. Let me have it for a bit...you know it feels good when I have it."

Cordelia turned around, her hands yanking down Angel's pants. He kicked the wet clothing to the side, kissing her hard. He bit her lower lip roughly, one hand grasping her hair tightly. He pulled her head back, licking the nape of her neck lightly. The girl gasped softly, her hands pressing against his chest. He grabbed her hips and spun her around into the wall. She knew what he was going to do and pushed her hands against the tiles.

Angel drove into the Seer quickly, producing a gasp from her. The hot water hit them as he started to move at an agonizingly slow pace. Her nails scraped the tile as his hands moved down her body. His hand moved between her legs, stroking her along with his thrusting. Her body started to writhe in front of him, and he wrapped one arm around her. She closed her eyes, feeling the hot water cover them. Angel almost felt warm in the small stall. Her hand moved to the knobs, turning off the hot water. He kept moving, gradually increasing his speed. Low moans and sighs echoed in the bathroom, and water dripped to the cool floor.

Her hand seemed to freeze in mid-air, then move to the other knob, turning it on full blast. The cold water sprayed onto their bodies, and they both gasped at the impact. He started to move harder, thrusting into the girl all the way. He linked their hips together, his hips driving into her.

Angel's hand moved from between Cordelia's legs to her breasts, the sensation forcing her to move away from his touch. He felt her hard nipples between his fingers, and his mouth found her neck, sucking on the flesh roughly. She moaned loudly, her hips starting to roll in circles. The vampire inhaled sharply, his grip tightening on her waist. He began to meet her thrusts, pushing harder with each movement. Her breathing grew ragged, and her heartbeat began to increase. He pressed her wound, and she cried out in pain.

The vampire chuckled slightly, driving into Cordelia harder. She moved with him, the act getting rougher and faster. One hand clutched the water knob, while the other moved to his hair. She held onto him for dear life, moans turning into cries, cries turning into screams. He started to groan as well, forcing her head back and her mouth on his. His mouth violently assaulted hers, his tongue invading her mouth.

Cordelia's hand moved down to Angel's neck, and her nails began to dig into his skin. He panted slightly, his hard cock ramming into her. She screamed as her orgasm hit, her body jerking and thrashing against his. He held onto her, thrusting until he came as well.

She collapsed against the wall, her knees slowly giving out. Angel pulled out of her, leaning against the corner. They both shook, the cold water a stark contrast to the sudden heat over their bodies.

Cordelia shoved her hair back away from her face, staring at Angel blankly. "Are we done for the day?"

"What?" He breathed, swallowing hard.

"The daily violent fuck. Was this it?"

He glared at her, not sure what to say or even think. Darkness slowly clouded his eyes. "We're done when I say we're done. If I want to fuck you in front of Los Angeles, I will." He stepped forward, his fingers running down her lips. "And you would let me." She shoved him away. He laughed slightly. "Don't be like that..." He stepped out of the shower, picking up his clothes. "Take care of your cut. See you later, Cordelia." He walked out.

Cordelia watched Angel leave, a slow rage filling her. She unconsciously began to breathe hard. After a few seconds, she let out a piercing scream.


Part 11

Cordelia tapped her fingernails on the polished wood of the counter, swinging her legs back and forth. The back of her heels hit the wood, producing a slight bang. She observed the group several feet away, testing out new weapons. Gunn grinned as he pretended to attack Wesley with an axe, then patted Fred's arm in comfort at her wide- eyed reaction. Angel smiled slightly, picking up a mace and showing the others how to hold it properly. He swung it, stopping just short of Wesley's neck for his demonstration. Fred immediately grabbed the mace and attempted to imitate Angel.

With all there was to watch, the Seer kept her eyes on Angel. Only Angel. She didn't understand what the problem was. He was acting perfectly ordinary. Like he usually did. Except when he was with her. When he was with her, it was different. He changed completely. And after all those months, she didn't understand. Her heels hit the wood harder.

He turned his head ever so slowly, locking eyes with her. She held her ground, her eyes narrowing. Her heels slammed against the counter. He winked, turning back to the group. The girl scowled, jumping off the counter with a loud thump. Everyone stopped and looked at her as she stormed into the office, slamming the door.

"What's her deal?" Gunn muttered, setting a dagger into a slot in the weapons cabinet.

Angel shrugged. "Women..."

Wesley examined a sword before placing it in the cabinet. "She's becoming very peculiar." He said in a low voice.

Fred frowned, looking into the office window nervously. "Do you think we should do the therapy sessions like the doctor said? He told us to bring her back if she acts funny. Like now. We took out all the sharp things in the office, right?" The Watcher nodded. She sighed in relief.

Gunn turned to the others, a look of concern on his face. "Do you really think she would hurt herself again? I mean- we're not exactly helping with the tiptoeing and the random raids of her room."

"We must." The Brit said quietly. "Her sheets had a bit of blood on them. I suspect she's been trying to harm herself."

"She wouldn't..." Fred whispered.

"I worry about her." The vampire spoke up. "You guys haven't been with her overnight. She talks to herself and laughs for no reason." He gave a slightly shaky sigh. "It's the damn visions..."

"We should take her to the hospital." Gunn mumbled. "I don't think- just for a little while."

"We can't!" The girl cried out before lowering her voice. "We- we just need to watch her! We can't put her away like a crazy person! It's Cordelia!"

"Don't worry." Angel muttered. "She's just moody. I'll keep an eye on her if you guys want."

Wesley smiled slightly. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Angel." The others grin at him.

He smirked. "Anything for Cordelia."


Cordelia walked up the stairs, her heels clicking on the dark wood. In her hand was a glass of blood; slightly warm from the three minutes it spent in the microwave. She stopped in front of Angel's door, smoothing out her red sundress. A hand was run through her loose hair, and she opened the door.

The vampire looked up from his bed when the door opening disturbed the stillness in the room. He blinked, seeing the Seer standing in the doorframe. He sat up slowly. "Hi?"

"Hi." She walked in, shutting the door. "I bought you some blood."

A smile crept onto Angel's face. "You haven't bought me blood in ages, Cordelia."

"I wanted to today. Is that a problem?"

He stared at her blank face for a long moment before shaking his head. "No." He held out his hand for the glass. "Does this mean you're not mad at me?" She leaned over to give him the cup. "I mean, I felt really guilty- after that night, it was weird-" Her hand jerked back. He chuckled slightly, standing. "But then I figured you knew it was just a joke. I mean- since everything about you is a joke...look at yourself-"

She shoved the glass into his hand. "Drink up." She muttered.

Angel brought the glass to his lips, and then stopped. "Don't take it personal, Cordelia." He muttered. He smiled slightly. "Maybe you should, right?" He drank the blood slowly.

Cordelia sat on the bed, crossing her legs. She watched him down the liquid steadily. "Ever since I was in high school..." She said dully. "Poison has always fascinated me. I guess it was that movie. Heathers. Ever seen that movie?" He looked at her over the rim of the glass. "I've always wondered what poison would do to a person. It was pretty obvious...but a dead person? That would be more interesting, right?" The vampire jerked the glass from his lips as realization occupied his eyes. He dropped the glass, coughing. The rest of the blood spilled onto the floor near the Seer's feet. She smiled slowly. "You alright, Angel?"

He started to breath deeply for useless air, his hand fumbling for the edge of the desk by his bed. His eyes locked on Cordelia, and anger filled them. "You bitch." He choked. He stumbled forward to grab the girl, and she shot up, backing away from him. He fell onto the edge of the bed. He struggled to stand, his legs growing weak. "What did you-"

"Hydrogen cyanide. I think." The smile grew, cold and empty. "I didn't really read that much up on it, but the symptoms sounded really good. Confusion...weakness...loss of consciousness...coma." She stepped forward, leaning down. "Does it hurt, Angel?" He reached up and barely touched her dress when she pulled away. "DON'T touch me!" She yelled, kicking him in the stomach hard. He crumbled to the floor, the pain evident on his face. "How does it FEEL, Angel?"

"I- you-" He rasped, his fists clenching, and then loosening. "You're...going- going-" She leaned down, cupping a hand to her ear. "You're going to pay." He whispered.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "That's what they all say..." She grabbed his shirt, jerking him onto the bed. He fell limply, his eyes the only part of his body moving at that moment. She climbed onto the bed, straddling his hips. She pouted playfully at the hate-filled glare she received. "What's wrong, Angel? Angry? Depressed? Confused?" She stroked his face gently. "You fuck with me..." She lowered her face down to Angel's, her hips slowly gyrating against his. "I fuck with you." She hissed, kissing him hard. She pulled away roughly, her nail digging into his cheek.

Angel's mouth opened. A low rattling was heard in the silent room. "Cor..." He rasped.

She climbed off his lap, straightening out her dress. "The effects should wear out soon. I think. Something about blood coursing...as soon as the blood finishes..." She laughed. "I have NO idea...good luck." She walked to the door, opening it. His eyes remained on her, his body stiff with pain. "Maybe you'll think twice before you stalk me and fuck me and trick me and-" She smirked. "Just think twice." Her hand drifted to the light switch and she turned it off before walking out. Angel was left in the dark.

Cordelia walked down the stairs to the office, giving the group a big grin as she walked in. "Angel's not feeling well..." She announced. "Said something about bad blood from the market. He told me to tell you all to go home for tonight."

Wesley frowned. "What? Is he alright?"

The Seer nodded. "Sure. He just looked...paler than usual." She grinned. "I'll give you and Gunn a ride."

Fred stood. "I'll go check on Angel-"

"NO." The girl froze. "Let him be. He didn't want to be disturbed." She nodded slowly.

Gunn sighed, standing. "Okay, then. Let's go, Barbie."

Cordelia grabbed Angel's car keys off the desk. "I'll be back later, Fred, okay?" She followed Wesley and Gunn out the door. "Good night, ANGEL!" She yelled before slamming the door shut.


Part 12

Cordelia walked into the Hyperion, looking around. The vicinity was completely silent. She dropped her purse onto the counter. It slid off the edge and hit the floor, the metal chains clanging against the wood. She climbed up the stairs, trying to look through the dark.

"Angel..." She sang, peering down the hallway. "Are you alive?" She opened the door of his bedroom slowly, her hand disappearing into the darkness. She spotted a ray of light from the window and walked towards it. Her hand moved to close the curtain.

"Back so soon?"

She gasped and spun around, her eyes immediately stopping on Angel's chest. His shirt was open and his body was covered in sweat. His eyes were glassy and sunken in. "I- ah-" She replaced her surprised look with a cool one. "Healthy so soon?" He shook slightly, and she smirked. "Guess not."

The vampire ran a wobbly hand through his hair. "I- I can't believe you did that..." He whispered. "It was so long...it hurt."

"Well, maybe next time you'll think before you-"

"I'm sorry."

Cordelia gawked at Angel, backing up a step. "What?"

He cleared his throat painfully. "I'm sorry..." She continued to stare at him. "Cordy...what I did was wrong and uncalled for. I should've never let it go as far as it did."

"What are you trying to pull?"

"N-Nothing...I just- I love you so much. I do. I wanted you to know- but I didn't know how...I'm so sorry, Cordelia. I pulled you into something that was my fault. I couldn't control my own demon, so I forced you in." He shook again. "God- I messed you up...I fucked up."

Her face hardened at his words, then slowly softened. "No...yes. I- God..." She whispered.

He moved towards her, gathering her in an embrace. "I love you so much." He said quietly. "And- and I know we're both kind of messed up now- but we can fix it. We can." She opened her mouth to reply, and he kissed her softly. "I'm sorry..." His lips brushed against hers slightly. "I love you."

After several moments of silence, they both moved in for another kiss. Angel moved forward, and Cordelia backwards. The back of her legs hit the edge of the bed, and she fell back. His kisses remained gentle as he removed her clothing, his mouth moving down to every piece of skin that was exposed. She peeled his shirt off, then his pants.

An anxious arousal filled both of them, and he entered her quickly, but slowly. She inhaled steadily, her hips rising to meet his. His lips pressed against hers, his hand reaching for hers and bringing it over her head in a tender but firm hold. His hips moved increasingly, going as deep as he could. Her gasps filled the quiet room as her back arched and her head was thrown back as pleasure coursed through her body. His mouth moved down her neck, sucking and caressing her skin between his lips.

Low moans and cries replaced their heavy breathing, their hips thrusting faster. The Seer's restrained hand clenched into a fist while the other clutched Angel's back tightly. He slid his body up, driving himself into her deeper as his mouth found hers again. Their bodies moved in unison as waves of pleasure flowed through them.

The vampire started to move faster, his other hand pulling Cordelia's leg over his waist. Her leg immediately tightened on his hip, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust. He groaned as his body tensed up, pushing her into the bed further. She started to cry out, her nails digging into his back. Her body rose and fell with each push, his hand sliding under her for support. He drove into her uncontrollably as his orgasm hit, his face buried in her neck. He kept moving until he felt her clench tightly around him and release. He collapsed on top of her, silent. Her hard breathing echoed in his ears.

Angel lifted his head, needless breaths coming out in slight pants. Cordelia wiped a bit of sweat off his brow, and he leaned into her touch. Their lips met once more, until he broke the kiss again.

She grinned faintly. "What?" He started at her for a moment, his eyes blank. Finally, he swallowed hard, his face taking on the same intense expression he had just minutes before.

"Let me draw you."

* * *

Cordelia lay on her side on the white sheets of Angel's bed. One leg was crossed over the other, her body completely nude. She felt comfortable; the only eyes on her were Angel's, intent on the drawing pad on his knee, which rested over the arm of his chair. She smiled slightly, draping her arm over her exposed breasts.

Angel smiled back, waving his hand at her. "DON'T smile. It ruins the mood."

She sighed, removing the smile from her face. "Are you almost done?"


The girl rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling. Her fingers traced invisible pictures on her stomach. She giggled. "You always get that look when you're drawing."

"What look."

"Like you're thinking really, really hard."

"I am."

She waited for him to clarify. He didn't. "What about?"

"About a lot of things." Angel's hand moved over the paper, smudging a charcoal line with his fingers. It produced a swishing noise through the silent room. "About you. Me. How I wanted to make you happy." She turned her head slowly to look at him. "All I wanted to do was draw you. Then touch you. Then kiss you...it went too fast. I should've never touched you. If I hadn't, you never would've done what you did." The charcoal scraped on the paper as he continued.

A look of confusion came over Cordelia's face. "What I did? What did I do?" She paused. "Besides the poisoning. I apologized for that, by the way."

He nodded. "I could care less about the poisoning. Darla did that to me once. She was a creative one, let me tell you..." Swish. Scrape.

"What are you talking about?"

His face remained intense and his eyes stayed on the paper. "You thought you were so slick, didn't you? Didn't think I would see you looking through Wes' books and notes about me back in the day." Her eyes widened slightly. "You thought I wouldn't see you copying stuff into that little blue notebook of yours and taking some files. I did..." Swish. "I would go in- maybe ten minutes after you'd left- just to see what you had taken. All stuff on Angelus. I was surprised- trust me. Why would you of all people want info on my demon? But you were probably just curious, right?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "So I let it slide. But I still watched you. You kept going back...taking notes...just like the good secretary you are. It slowly dawned on me-" She opened her mouth to speak. "Let me finish." His voice was icy and quiet. She slowly closed her mouth. Swish. "It slowly dawned on me that you were taking all these notes for a reason. You were going to test me-"

"Angel. I never want-"

"Shut your goddamn mouth before I shut it permanently." He interrupted, his voice sharp yet calm. His eyes still kept on the paper. Cordelia's mouth closed, shock etched on her face. "I noticed something. When you came into my room that one night. You stayed at the hotel that night, and I had no clue why. You came in and drew me into that conversation. I remember your face so, so well...you could act when you really wanted to." A smirk appeared. "This wasn't one of those times. So I played along, then decided to try to touch you again. No underwear." A short laugh now. "You always wore underwear, Cordy. I could tell. All of a sudden, you stopped? Maybe because you knew Darla didn't wear any? Wanted to hit a spot, Cordy?" She continued to stare at him. "Thought it would bring something out? Angelus, maybe?" His face returned to a blank expression. "I got a bit angry. I wanted you to want me for me. Not for him. But fuck it, right? I gave you what you wanted."

"A-Ang-" His warning glare cut her off.

"We kept going. Actually, YOU kept going. I played along. You did Darla's shit. Some of Dru's." Swish. "Anything you thought would get something out of me. It did get something out of me, Cordelia. I let loose...just for you." Scrape. "Hurt you. Played with your head. Anything that would make you happy." Darkness clouded his eyes. "Then you gave me your blood. Your fucking blood. I couldn't take it anymore. How dare- Fuck you."

Cordelia sat up, grabbing her shirt and putting it on. "Whoa- Angel. No. You have it so wrong."

"Are you denying it?"

Her silence confirmed his suspicions. She snatched her underwear, sliding it on. "A-Angel...I didn't mean anything. I just wanted to see- he can go away now." She pleaded.

Angel smiled slowly, continuing his drawing. "He was never here."


"You wanted me. Angelus. The danger...it always aroused you, didn't it? The danger? Ever since you were a teenager. I remember- I could smell it. Drove me fucking crazy."

Her eyes watched him, strangely composed in his seat. "God. Angel. Please...stop it."

"Stop what? I GAVE you what you wanted, you selfish bitch." Swish. "Are you going to fucking back down now? I DELIVERED. You better fucking deliver now."

"WHAT? Angel- stop it right now!" She glided to the edge of the bed, not bothering to hide the shock. "Talk to me- the game is over! Stop it!"

Scrape. "When I lose control totally, I will blame you. You will be blamed for lives lost and for the loss of my soul. You would've ended my redemption, you fucking selfish whore." He glanced at her for a mere second, and he saw the hurt and confusion in her eyes. "So fucking stupid..."


Angel sighed, shaking his head. His leg swung off the arm and hit the floor. He threw the charcoal aside. "I'm finished. Do you want to see?" Cordelia sat in front of him now, shaking. She numbly nodded. He turned the pad around for her to see.

It was definitely Cordelia. Slightly longer hair framed her thin face. A deeply serene look was on her face, her crazed eyes out of place. She was crouched down in a fetal position. A straight jacket contained her arms while bruises and cuts marked her legs. Dark, angry eyes surrounded Cordelia's restrained body. Above the drawing was a single word in bold letters: BITCH.

Angel's eyes lit up and his grin grew wider when he saw her horrified expression. "Do you like it?"


Part 13

Cordelia jumped to her feet and dashed for the door. Angel beat her to it, blocking her exit. "Where are you going, Cordelia?" He asked, gripping the drawing pad tightly.

She tried to move past him. "Let me go, Angel..."

"I'm not touching you, Cordelia. Go." He didn't move. Neither did she. He chuckled quietly. "Go!"

"Move." She whispered, her chin trembling.

His eyes widened playfully, and he held his hands up. "Whoa- you're gonna cry now?" He threw the drawing pad to the side, moving forward. "After all the shit you put ME through, you're gonna cry, Cordy?" She backed up as he advanced. "Now you're running away from me? You couldn' t wait to see Angelus before..." He smirked. "Angelus ain't here, baby..."

The Seer's back hit the dresser, and she seemed to be trying to merge herself within the wood. "A-Angel- I know. I know you're not Angelus. Why are you doing this? We- you're making me- I'm scared! Stop! Look at me!"

He laughed. "You look fucking crazy, that's what you look like." He roughly grabbed her chin, forcing her face up. "Your eyes...there's not much there, honey." His hand traveled up her cheek and into her hair, grabbing a handful of locks. He threw her into the bathroom door, which flew open at the force.

Cordelia struggled to stand. Angel grabbed her arm and dragged her to the tub. Before she knew what was happening, she was shoved into the ice-cold water. The clear liquid spilled over the edge and onto the ceramic tiles on the floor. She screamed and tried to climb out but was interrupted by the vampire's hand dunking her head under the freezing water.

Angel held her head down, watching her thrash and struggle furiously. "I tried to stop you before it was too late, Cordy. But you wouldn't listen. I HAD to stalk you. I HAD to kill your fucking plants. I HAD to destroy your apartment- don't you get that?! You DIDN'T! You thought it was a GAME!" He kept her underneath until he felt her weaken. "I wish we hadn't gone this far, Cordelia..." It was only then he let her go. Her head immediately rose above the water, and she gasped for air, coughing violently.

"Stick around...stay a while..." He muttered, wiping his hands on a white towel on the black rack near the sink. He walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. "It's going to get even better..." He moved to the bed, grabbing Cordelia's pants and shoving them under his bed. He sauntered out of his room and stopped in the hallway, looking around. The vampire froze, hearing the slight drips of water hitting the wood floor. He fought back a smile and took his time turning around. Cordelia stood in front of him, absolutely soaked and shaking. Her wild eyes were fixed on him. "Yes?"

Her hands clenched and unclenched. "I. Hate. YOU!" She rushed at him. Her body slammed into his, and they both stumbled back.

Angel hit the floor hard, the girl on top of him. They slid a few feet before stopping by the stairs. Her fists crashed against his face and chest, and his hands flew up to block her strikes. He rolled over on top of her, straddling her waist. "Stop it! STOP IT!" He yelled, trying to force her hands down. She got a good punch in, and he immediately slapped her hard across the face. The Seer froze in shock, and then lifted her leg, her knee crashing with his groin. He groaned in pain and fell off her. She wasted no time in climbing to her feet, and he did the same.

The two glared at each other, almost eye to eye. Cordelia breathed hard, her frenzied eyes on the vampire. "I'm going to fucking kill you."

Angel met her stare. "Try it."

Cordelia lunged at Angel, and they flew down the stairs hard. After crashing into the last step, they rolled into the lobby. She punched him hard across the face and he hit the floor. She got up from the ground and took off towards the front door.

He crawled after her, grabbing her leg and jerking it towards him. Her body slammed into the ground brutally. He dragged her back within his space regardless of her kicking. His hands reached down and grabbed her head, slamming it into the floor. She cried out in pain, still fighting back.

He let go of her head and backed away, laughing. "I didn't know you had it in you, Cordy!" He exclaimed. "But then again...you're fucking crazy."

She stood slowly, blood dripping from her mouth. "I am NOT crazy!" She screamed, her chest heaving. He continued to laugh. She stepped forward, and he stepped back.

Angel suddenly stopped laughing, his face becoming deadly serious. "Let me help you." He hurried forward, taking hold of Cordelia and throwing her into the couch. He followed her, grabbing her arm. "Come on, Cor-"

Her fist swinging and connecting with his jaw cut him off. He crashed into the couch, and Cordelia climbed on top of him. She grabbed his hair tightly and jerked his head up. The two glared at each other angrily.

Then, without warning, Cordelia kissed Angel hard. He froze for a moment before kissing her back, his hand winding into her mane. Her hips started to stir against his, and his hand moved to the small of her back, moving her hips rougher. He could taste her blood on his tongue as it explored her mouth, and his mouth attacked hers more forcefully.

Suddenly, Cordelia raked her nails down Angel's cheek. He threw her off his lap, clutching his face. He removed his hand, and trails of blood glistened on his palm. His eyes watched her as she climbed off the floor, wiping the blood from her mouth. She smiled leisurely. Coldly.

Angel stood, his eyes remaining on the Seer. He smirked slowly. "You crazy bitch."

She scowled, lunging at him again. This time, Angel was ready and stepped out of the way, throwing her into the wall. She crumbled to the floor and crept to the corner. She heard his footsteps coming closer.

"I knew you couldn't handle it..." He whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "You played with me. You fucked me. So I dealt with you. Deal with it." She whimpered slightly, shaking her head. "You're angry, you're sad...you're scared, you're fucking me...make up your mind." He paused dramatically, as if he was thinking hard. He confirmed this action by tapping his chin lightly. "You know, bipolar disorder can be treated rather quickly in this day and age, Cordelia..." She looked up into his eyes and gasped. His demon was showing. She shook and began to scream. He changed back to his human face and laughed loudly. "What's wrong? It's just me...calm down..." His face turned into his demon again. She wasn't sure if it was in her mind or just him. Her whimpering increased, and his face changed back. He stared at her, suddenly concerned. "Cordelia?"

Cordelia continued to shake, her eyes getting wider. "Angel..." She said in a hushed tone. "Please...help me."

"I will, Cordy." He kneeled down in front of her, stroking her face. She slowly relaxed into his touch. "I promise..."

"Angel..." Her crying got louder and more frantic.


"Angel...please- Angel...please..."

"Ssh. It's going to be okay."

"Angel...Angel...please...please...God- please..."

* * *

"She's been like this for three weeks now."

Wesley, Gunn, and Fred stared intently through the glass window into the white room. Cordelia screamed loudly, fighting against the leather restraints strapping her to the bed. Her black roots showed through her streaked hair, while her face was marked with tears and sweat.

Wesley turned to the psychiatrist, his face grave. "Will she be getting better any time soon, Doctor-" He glanced at the nametag clipped to his jacket pocket. "Singh."

The psychiatrist sighed, flipping through his papers. "Miss Chase has been monitored incessantly throughout her stay here. Her behavior is erratic and quite unusual. She has fought several of the nurses and sent my assistant to the hospital with a broken nose. Her paranoia and depression is probably the most extreme I have seen in my ten years with the institution. She is only calm when it is just she and myself in the room- and when she is heavily medicated. She claims your..." He glanced at his pad. "Your friend- Angel- she claims he tortured her consistently over a ten month period." Fred shook her head and buried her face in Gunn's arm. He rubbed her back soothingly.

The Watcher shook his head. "That's impossible. Angel would never harm Cordelia."

"Yes. I've discussed this with Mister...Mister-"

"Doe." Gunn replied quickly. "Angel Doe." Wesley gave him a slightly annoyed look.

"Yes. Mr. Doe and I have talk over several sessions, including the day you brought her in. I would have questioned him over the nature of his relationship with Miss Chase, but the scratches and welts on his face and neck confirmed his statement of the attack she placed on him. We deemed her dangerously violent...which led to her confinement."

"I-I know." Wesley muttered. "I was the first to arrive...Angel was clearly stressed and disturbed. Cordelia...she was unconscious." He suddenly frowned. "What do you mean the nature of his relationship with Cordelia?"

He sighed once more. "Miss Chase claims to have had a violently sexual relationship with Mister Doe for the last ten months. Whenever I press her further, she starts to cry and become withdrawn. It took me fourteen sessions to understand that she thinks he stalked and tried to kill her on several occasions."

Fred lifted her head, wiping her eyes wearily. "B-But...Angel would never- why would she think that?"

"She is convinced that Mister Doe has an alter ego named..." He looked at his papers. "Angelus. She insists that this is his other personality. His evil side, if you will." Gunn and Wesley glanced at each other. Singh stared at them, then continued. "She thinks he tried to do multiple acts of torture and harm to her and is extremely fearful when he is in her vicinity, yet she calls for him when he is not around. Begging him to help her. Mr. Doe seems understandably confused over this. He's just worried about her health."

"As we all are." Wesley murmured, returning his gaze to Cordelia, still hysterical. "We're all worried."

Angel crossed his arms in his seat near the corner of the white room, watching Cordelia. She was almost seven feet away from him. "Cordelia." Her eyes searched the room wildly, trying to find him. He stood and moved to the bed. She gasped and tried to move away from him. "It's okay, baby..." He stroked her face gently. "I should thank you, really..." Suddenly, the concerned look on his face changed into a highly amused one. "You helped me become a better person...more determined- I told you I would get you..." Her eyes widened, and she whimpered. "Should've listened to me." He kissed his fingers before placing them on her forehead. "See you in a week." He walked out of the room, leaving Cordelia's screeching form behind.

The vampire walked out of the blindingly white room, his face taking on a grave expression. He sighed wearily. Wesley approached him, concerned. "Well?"

"Still the same."

Gunn shook his head. "I guess we should go then. Visiting hours is over anyway."

Angel nodded slowly, sorrow filling his eyes. "I just wished I could've helped her in time..."

* * *

Angel Investigations walked into the quiet hotel. Wesley turned on the lights one by one, something Cordelia would've done. Gunn picked up the mail, dumping it onto the counter. Something Cordelia would've done. Angel checked the answering machine. Something Cordelia would've done. And Fred stood helpless, sadness on her face.

Gunn sighed, suddenly tired. "I- I should go to Cordy's apartment and see how Dennis is holding up. Maybe take some stuff to bring to her next week."

Wesley nodded. "I'll help you, Gunn." He turned towards Angel. "Will you two be okay here?" Angel nodded. "Alright." They walked out.

The girl sighed loudly. The vampire frowned. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, sinking onto the couch. "I'm just so- I feel so bad for Cordy."

He slowly walked over and took the seat across from her. "She's going to be okay, Fred." He watched her fumbling with her skirt. His mind began to work. "You look really pretty today, Fred."

"Don't lie, Angel." She smoothed down her hair. "I look awful." Yet she smiled.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." He slowly grinned, reclining in his chair. This was going to be fun. "Hey, Fred." She looked up at him. "Let me draw you."


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