Let Me by Lara
Summary:
Angel and Cordelia have a 'system', but of course it goes a bit out of control.
Spoilers: Season
Three.
Distribution: Just
ask.
Part 1
Angel watched the
Seer pace back and forth through the lobby. He
leaned forward and
propped his chin on his hand. He made sure not to fall
off his seated position on the counter. No dorkiness. Cordelia
stopped, as if a
revelation occurred, then continued pacing. Angel frowned
and continued to watch her. "Stop it!!" Cordelia yelled
suddenly.
Angel jumped.
"What?"
The Seer sighed,
rubbing her face anxiously. "Stop leering at me."
"I'm not
leering. I'm staring."
"Leering.
Staring. I don't care. It's creepy." The girl sat on the
edge of the couch
closest to her friend. "Sorry for the pacing."
Angel smiled.
"It's okay. You're very...pace-y tonight, that's all."
His smile faded.
"You think I'm creepy?"
Cordelia ignored his
question. "I look awful. I look old. And you
know what makes it
worse? These vision aren't coming in, Angel...it's worrying
me. I can't sleep, eat- I'm just scared. I can't stop
thinking about it-
what if the big whammy comes and I di-"
"Hey."
Angel interrupted, hopping off the counter. That image was
already embedded in
his mind. "Stop with that, okay? No whammies, no dying-
just calm down." He looked down at her, examining her
face. "You look
very...pretty." He muttered.
Cordelia rolled her
eyes. "Please. You HAVE to say that. You gotta
keep your Seer
going. You don't have to lie."
Angel chuckled.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, Cordy." He
brushed a piece of
hair from her face. An idea suddenly dawned on him.
"Let me draw you, Cor."
Cordelia laughed.
"What?"
"You heard
me."
"What is this,
Titanic? Are you Jack? I'm Rose?" She teased.
Angel bounced on his
toes softly. "No...Titanic sucked. I just want
to draw you. Give
you something nice. I can do it by memory, but I want
to give you an chance to chose your own portrait."
Cordelia's ears
perked up. "Portrait? Really?" Angel nodded. "And you
can do me justice?
And do anything I want?" He nodded again. "Okay!"
The girl stood up.
"Draw me, baby."
Angel nodded,
pleased. "Upstairs?"
************
Angel sat on the
couch that rested in the vacant room. He whistled
almost silently,
fiddling with his materials. Drawing pad. Pencil. That's
all he needed. Candles lit the room brightly. For some reason,
the lights didn't
work. The sounds of Beethoven echoed through the small
boombox he had set up in the room. He sat and waited.
Cordelia walked into
the room shyly. "Ready?" She called. Angel
glanced up at her
and smiled. "Don't laugh or anything...and close your
eyes."
Angel sighed. "Cordy-
I-" She started to unbutton her shirt. "U-Uh-
Oh." He shut
his eyes tightly, silently hoping he wouldn't see anything
that would stay in his head for a reasonable amount of time.
"Okay Broody,
I'm ready." Angel opened his eyes. Cordelia sat on the
empty bed, a white
blanket wrapped loosely around her body. Her short hair
fell over her eyes. "Whatcha think?"
Angel froze and let
out an unnecessary breath. "Uh- um, h-hold on-"
He stood up, walking
towards her. He gently pushed her back onto the bed.
"Okay- you need to be on your side...um, looking at me...move
the blanket a
little-" He was trying desperately to control the huskiness
his voice was taking. He backed away, tripping over his
feet. "Uh-
sorry..." He mumbled, sitting back down. Cordelia smiled and
shifted on her side. She spread out along the bed, resting her
head on her hand.
She spread her legs ever so slightly, causing the fabric
to fall off her leg. The girl tightened the top of the blanket
tightly around her
chest and smiled at the vampire. "Go ahead."
Angel gawked at her.
"Kay." He blinked. "Um, let me see your face
more. Push your hair
back." She did so. "A- And let go of the blanket.
It's not flattering." She opened her mouth, and Angel read
her mind. "The
blanket won't drop, don't worry. J-Just rest your hand over
your waist." She did so. "Beautiful." Angel murmured.
Cordelia bit her
lip, blushing. "Okay, Van Gogh. Hurry up before Wes
comes and he thinks
we're doing something horribly wrong."
Angel fought back a
smile, sketching. "And that would be terrible."
He drew Cordelia's
body rather quickly, glancing at her every once in a
while. He tried to keep his mind elsewhere, but couldn't. What was
he thinking, asking
to draw her?? Obviously abrupt thinking was not for
him. He tried not to look at his friend's body. Everything was
perfect. Her legs.
Her arms. Her hips. Her breasts. Her face. Her hair.
Everything. Angel's eyes slowly moved up the Seer's body to her
face. Cordelia
smiled at him. Angel smiled back and continued. His hand
sketched her face slowly. He focused on every line, every
feature. Angel
furrowed his brow as he worked, careful to highlight her
eyes and lips. His favorite features of hers. Of course, he loved
everything about
her; but the lips and eyes stood out. That's what made
him live every day. He swallowed hard and continued.
************
Cordelia's smile
grew wider. Angel simpered slowly. "You like it?"
Cordelia nodded
wildly peering at the paper that held her portrait. He
liked it himself. It was classy. A classic beauty. He had manage
to capture the light
of her face. The frame of her body. The being that
was Cordelia. "You're not lying now?"
Cordelia snatched
the picture with her free hand, the other gripping
the blanket. "I
wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." She stared at the
picture. "You made me beautiful, Angel..." She whispered in awe.
Angel leaned in,
looking over her shoulder. He clutched his pad
nervously. "I
didn't make you, Cordy." He murmured. "I just drew you."
Suddenly, Cordelia
spun around and kissed him. Angel froze in shock.
Cordelia's lips
touched his gently, the feeling increasing. Angel dropped
the pad, his hands fumbling to the girl's waist. He gripped
the fabric tightly,
unaware that he was slowly tugging it off. The blanket
slowly slid down, and Angel yanked Cordelia to him. The
kiss intensified,
their bodies pressed together. Cordelia clenched his
hair tightly. Suddenly, the closing of a door echoed up the
stairs. Angel and
Cordelia broke apart, breathing hard.
Cordelia hastily
pulled up the blanket, bending over to pick up her
clothes.
"S-Sorry..." She gasped. "I-I got caught up-" She backed
towards the door.
Angel licked his
lips, trying to control himself. "I-I understand..."
He adjusted his
shirt, which had managed to get violently
frazzled. "I-
um-"
"Cordelia!
Where are you!?" Wesley's voice boomed from below.
"I-I'm coming,
Wes!" Cordelia called. She held her portrait tightly,
then turned to go to
the bathroom. She stopped. "You don't want a copy?"
She asked quietly. Angel shook his head. She nodded quickly
and ran off.
Angel turned numbly
and started to blow out the candles. He didn't
need a copy. The
vampire blew out the last candle. It was already embedded
in his mind.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 2
Angel whistled
cheerfully, walking around the lobby with a handful of
papers. Gunn grinned
from his place on the couch. "Should we get a stake,
Angel?"
Angel smiled slowly
at the boy. "Nah...I'm just- just...chipper?"
"Chipper.
That's a funny word." Angel jumped slightly as Fred
appeared behind him.
"I always think of Chip, this
boy I knew in
school- Hi, Cordy!"
Angel's head shot in
Fred's direction. Cordelia walked down the
stairs. He watched
her walk past him to the offices, their eyes meeting
for a second. All was silent until there was a yelp by
Cordelia. Angel
jogged into the office, followed by Gunn and Fred. He was
met with Wesley's glare. Angel's eyes traveled to the paper Wes
was clutching
tightly. Oh, crap.
"Care to
explain this?" Wesley muttered, apparently trying to avoid
looking at the
paper.
Angel hastily pushed
Gunn and Fred out and shut the door. He did the
only thing he could
do in his mind. It worked for him many times before.
He played stupid. "Uh- explain what? What's that?"
Cordelia quickly
snatched the paper. "That's none of your business,
Wes. It was on my
desk."
Wesley stared at
Cordelia in dismay. "Y-You're naked! You- Angel-
what-"
"I was not
naked!" She replied haughtily. "I was covered. Angel was
naked."
Wesley's eyes widened. Cordelia rolled hers. "Kidding, Wes. Kidding.
It's just a picture I asked Angel to draw. We weren't even
in the same room. He
drew it from memory with the things I wanted in the
picture. It was a gift."
Wesley's shocked
statement slowly vanished. "Oh. I'm sorry then." He
nodded towards Angel
and walked out.
Angel waited for the
door to close to flop in a seat in relief. "Oh,
thank God..."
He looked up at Cordelia. "Hi." He whispered.
Cordelia slowly
smiled, folding the picture up and putting it in her
pocket.
"Hey."
*************
Angel immediately
groaned when the door closed. "I thought they would
never leave...they
honestly don't like the hotel that much, do they?"
Cordelia walked into
the lobby, humming. "They're bored. No lives.
Whatever." She
handed him a cup of blood. He shook his head. "No?"
Angel shook his head
again. "Not hungry..Fred still upstairs?"
Cordelia walked to
the office. "Sleeping. She's been out for a couple
of hours I
think." Angel followed her into the room. "I'm surprised.
She's actually
becoming sane. It's refreshing." Cordelia spun around and
jumped. " Angel!"
"What?"
"Don't do
that!" Angel muttered an apology. Cordelia rolled her eyes
and sat on the desk.
"Nothing like getting a heart attack to make a girl
happy." She mumbled sarcastically.
Angel frowned.
"You're not happy?"
Cordelia sighed,
stretching her leg out. Angel's eyes watched her
bare leg, moving up
her skirt to her face. "I'm happy...I guess. All things
considered." She glanced at the vampire. "Angel."
Angel snapped back
to reality. "U-Uh? Happy?" He paused. "I really
liked drawing
you." He muttered quietly.
Cordelia smiled,
almost forcefully. "I liked being drawn." She tried
to keep a happy
smile on her face.
Angel looked down at
the floor, feeling foolish. "I also liked
that...that-"
"Kiss."
They both said in unison.
Cordelia chuckled.
"I'm glad. I liked it too. But- but it was weird,
you know?"
Angel looked up.
"Let me make you happy." He said suddenly.
Cordelia frowned in
confusion. "Huh?" Angel walked in front of her.
He traced her lips
with his fingers. "Angel..." He silenced her with a
kiss. "Let me make you happy." He repeated, kissing her again.
Cordelia tried to
pull away, but then yanked him to her tightly. Angel
gripped her hips, pulling her to him. His tongue explored her
mouth, the kiss
becoming more intense. Cordelia gripped his hair tightly,
wrapping a leg around his hip. Angel pushed the Seer back
slightly, climbing
half way on top of her. She moaned, his kisses trailing
down her face to her neck. Angel's hand drifted to her legs.
His hand moved
between her legs, finding her. Cordelia gasped in surprise,
but lifted her hips to him. Angel began to stroke her
softly, his mouth
finding hers again. Cordelia gripped his hair tighter,
moving her hips in rhythm to his movements. He pushed her
further onto the
desk, his stroking becoming more rapid. Cordelia's moans
became louder. She threw her head back, letting Angel do
whatever he wanted.
She kissed the vampire hard, holding on to him tighter.
Angel couldn't control his own desire as he moved faster
below. Cordelia's
hand drifted below and directed his hand. Angel buried
his face in Cordelia's neck, biting and sucking on
her flesh. Cordelia
started to shake, her hand tightening on his. Angel
gripped her hip firmly, increasing his strokes. Cordelia's
cries echoed in his
ears as she came violently. Then all was still.
Cordelia opened her
eyes, staring at Angel. Angel unknowingly gasped
in what could have
been shock. He removed his hand from between her legs
and kissed her gently.
"Happy?"
He murmured. She nodded. Angel slowly climbed off the Seer,
and she sat up;
apparently trying to calm herself. Angel backed away until
he hit the wall, and closed his eyes. "Good."
Cordelia stood up
and walked towards him. She kissed him softly, her
hand resting on his
chest lightly. "Night, Broody." She whispered, opening
the door. Angel caught her arm and pulled her towards him.
The kiss was
explosive, both moving for more. Finally, Cordelia pulled
away. "Night." She said breathlessly and ran off.
Angel collapsed into
the nearest chair. He shocked himself with
that.
"Night." He muttered. He swallowed hard, realizing what he had
just done. He tried
to think of the bright side. He had made her happy.
At least one of them was.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 3
Angel sat up with a
jolt, breathing hard for unnecessary air. He looked
around the dark room, expecting something. Anything. He didn't
know what. He buried
his face in his hands. These dreams about
Cordelia were
getting more and more intense. And more vivid. He could
almost taste her. He
did. He could feel her skin under his hands. Her breath
on his neck. Angel ran a nervous hand through his hair. It had
been a week since he
went crazy and done the unthinkable. He
had 'taken' his
Seer. And regretted nothing. Until now. He had grown
increasingly
paranoid during the week, taking every look anyone gave him,
every mumble, every touch; and turned it into an accusation. He
was grateful they
weren't caught. Cordelia had smartly come in early the
next day and fixed the office. It was like the memory was erased
from her mind. She
never mentioned it, never hinted at him, never looked
at him differently. That was the kind of girl she was. Moment
of weakness. The man
overpowering the girl. All that good stuff.
A hard knock on his
door. Angel jumped then stood up to answer it.
"Yes?" He muttered, surprised at how dull his voice sounded.
Sleep does a lot to
a person. He leaned against the door, not opening it.
"Angel?"
"Cor?"
Angel swung the door open, looking at the girl. "What's
wrong?"
A pause. A long
pause. "Can you talk to me? Please?"
Angel frowned.
"Why. What happened?" Cordelia muttered something. He
couldn't make it
out. "Cordelia."
"Nothing."
She muttered. "Can you? I'm lonely. Please?"
Angel groaned
silently. That voice. She had him. "Fine, Cordelia." He
opened the door
enough for her to enter, then shut it again. He sat on
the bed. "Let's talk."
Cordelia jumped on
the bed, spreading out. She propped herself on one
elbow. "You
were sleeping?" Angel nodded slowly. She cringed.
"Sorry..."
Angel leaned back,
propping himself on his elbows. "It's okay.
Restless
sleep." Her form would have been nearly non-existent in the dark,
if it wasn't for the dim light from the window.
Cordelia gave him
the once over. "You always sleep in boxers?" Angel
stared at her,
deadpan. Cordelia giggled and nudged him with her hand.
"Answer me."
"I sleep naked.
You caught me on a bad day." He smiled at his own wry
joke.
Cordelia rolled her
eyes. "Not much for just a simple lie, are you?"
Angel shook his
head. "I don't lie. Well...not really...you know what
I mean." He
paused, trying not to look at Cordelia. "About the thing in
the office-"
Cordelia held up her
hand. "No. It happened. Can't turn back time
now. It's
over."
Angel blinked in
surprise. "Oh. Okay. Good."
"You like sex,
don't you?" Angel's head jolted towards her. He was
unable to hide his
shock. Cordelia blushed slightly. "I-I mean...wait- that's
exactly what I mean. So? You do, don't you?"
Angel gave a shrug
of his lower lip, still trying to absorb his shock.
"W-Well...who doesn't?"
"I know that,
silly. I mean, why do you like it? You can't have any-
I mean- dammit help
me."
"W-Well..."
Angel stammered. Cordelia looked at him, waiting. He
looked up at the
ceiling. "It's pleasure, Cordy. Sinful pleasure. And pain.
Sex is that thin line. You get pleasure- but you also get this
pain. This horrible,
wonderful ache. Can't describe it. You have to feel
it."
Cordelia smirked.
"I think I did. Lucky we don't have cameras." Angel
slowly smiled. She
was so peculiar. "It was cool."
Angel finally
glanced at her, raising his eyebrow. "Cool? You thought
me jumping on you,
putting my hands down your panties, feeling you up,
and giving you some pleasure and pain was cool?" Cordelia laughed
quietly and nodded.
Angel sighed good-naturedly. "I see...so you like a
little S & M?"
Cordelia gave him a
look of dismay. " WHAT?!" Angel chuckled. "I- I
don't-"
"Yes you
do." Angel interrupted calmly, his eyes boring into
her. "You liked
it. I know for a fact I hurt you. I made sure I did. Just
to see how you would react."
Silence. "You
didn't hurt me." Cordelia murmured.
Angel gently leaned
over and pulled down the top of her pants slightly,
revealing a couple of bruises. "Sorry about that." Cordelia
pushed his hand
away. "I really am."
"No you're
not." Cordelia shot back, laying down on the pillows. "You
like control."
She said matter-of-factly. "You like causing feelings
and emotions...no
matter what they are. You saw it fit to force yourself
on me-"
"Hey-"
Angel said loudly, glaring at her. "You weren't complaining.
You didn't exactly
tell me to stop when I was making you scream-"
Cordelia closed her
eyes. "You didn't make me scream, Dead Boy. You
made me moan. Jeeze-
after 248 years, you think you would know the difference..."
Angel shifted
slightly, staring at her. "You think I don't know the
difference between a
scream and a moan?" Cordelia shrugged nonchalantly.
"I do!" She ignored him.
Angel frowned.
Cordelia started to hum. The vampire suddenly moved on
top of the Seer,
resting his body on top of hers. Cordelia's eyes jolted
open. "Angel-"
Angel smirked at
her. "Shut up." He started kissing her neck, and
moved down. He
kissed the fabric covering her body, down to her pants.
Slowly, he pulled them down just enough. Cordelia laid
perfectly still, not
knowing what to do. Angel looked up at her and chuckled.
"No underwear? I'm shocked, Cordy. I thought you were a
good girl..."
Cordelia stared at
the ceiling, swallowing hard. "You shouldn't
think..."
Angel sucked his
teeth then lowered his head between her legs. He
started to move his
tongue slowly, but roughly. Cordelia's fingers entangled
themselves in his hair. He started to move faster,
spreading her legs
further apart. He knew exactly what he was doing. It
had been a long, long time; but he remembered how to go down on a
girl. He licked her
up and down, finding her. Cordelia moaned quietly,
raising her hips. He thrust his tongue out, gripping her
thighs tight.
Cordelia's moans became louder, and one of Angel's hands
reached up and covered her mouth. "Fred." He whispered, moving
his body over hers
again. Cordelia bit her lip, trying to touch herself.
Angel grabbed her hand and moved it away. He smiled.
"Pleasure? Pain? Which one?" Cordelia didn't answer him, her
hips thrusting
uncontrollably. Angel moved his hand between her legs and
began a familiar routine. Cordelia started to scream against his
hand, and Angel
lowered his face to her neck; kissing her flesh. For some
reason, the smell of her blood was stronger, but he resisted. He
stroked roughly and
rapidly, until he felt her orgasm crash against him.
Angel smiled to himself, her moans subduing.
"That's
screaming." Angel informed her, his voice suddenly husky with
lust. "Got
it."
Cordelia closed her
eyes, her grip on the sheets loosening. "Y-
Yeah..." Angel
kissed her neck again, then climbed off her. He laid down
beside her. "Let me ask you a question, Angel..." She muttered
breathlessly. He
looked at her. "Why the hell do our meetings always end
with me on my back, you on top of me, and me feeling really,
reallyrelaxed?"
Angel smiled, his
hand reaching over and stroking her hip. "Beats
me."
Cordelia sighed.
"Whatever."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 4
Wesley
frowned, placing the heavy text on the counter. "Where the
bloody hell is Cordy?
She's late for work."
Gunn calmly turned
the page of his magazine. "She probably overslept.
Don't have a
heart-" Gunn was cut off by Cordelia stumbling down the Hyperion
stairs. Her hair was messed up horribly and her clothes were
wrinkled. Her hooded
sweater fell unzipped off one shoulder. She rubbed
her eyes and shuffled to the kitchen. "-attack." Gunn
finished, watching
her.
"Morning,
Cordelia." Wesley spoke up. Cordelia mumbled a reply and
made an attempt to
make coffee. "Um...did you sleep overnight?"
Cordelia nodded
slowly. "Yeah...um, I was researching...fell
asleep...Angel gave
me a room."
Wesley nodded.
"Oh. How nice." He watched her move to the lobby,
apparently in pain.
"You alright, Cordy?"
Cordelia winced as
she sat on the couch. "Yeah. Just...sore."
Gunn helped her put
her cup down. "Why sore?"
Cordelia glared at
the boy. "Because! That's why!" She painfully
lifted her legs onto
the table. "I-I had-"
"A long
night." Angel spoke up from the top of the stairs, descending
slowly. "She
was working all night long." He smirked at her. She replied
with a steady glare.
Wesley blinked in
confusion. "Right..." He closed the book and his
beeper promptly
rang. The Brit glanced at it. "Oh! The book I ordered might
have arrived from England! I have to go pick it up!" He ran out
the door.
"Dork."
Gunn and Cordelia muttered at the same time.
Angel flopped down
next to Cordelia. "Morning, Cor." She continued to
glare.
Gunn watched them,
slightly confused. "This is going to be a fun
day..."
************
Angel whistled
softly as he skimmed through his book. "Night, Angel!"
Gunn called from the
lobby.
"Night, Gunn."
Angel replied, finally closing the office door. He
tossed the book over
his shoulder and leered at Cordelia, sitting at her
desk. "I thought they would never leave." Cordelia rolled her
eyes.
"What?"
"You are such a
bastard, you know that?" She stood up, crossing her
arms. Angel gave her
a blank look. "You absolutely love the fact that you're
doing something no one knows about."
Angel smiled slowly.
"Except you..."
"Except
me...hey! Shut up!" She stomped over in front of him. "What.
Does it make you
feel all...manly?"
Angel was starting
to get annoyed. "Does what make me feel all
manly?"
Cordelia glared
steadily. "The fact that you have a hold on me."
Angel slowly
smirked. "Maybe..."
"And the fact
that you can hurt me and pleasure me at the same time?"
His face changed and
he leaned in until they were less than an inch
apart.
"Possibly." He kissed her firmly. "I like to play games." He
hissed. Cordelia
shoved Angel hard, and he slammed into the door. He laughed
in shock. "WHOA there, Cordy-"
Cordelia's angry
statement changed. "I-I'm sorry, Angel..." She
rubbed her face
roughly. "I-I'm just out of it...you made me really sore...and
you're still not happy..."
Angel held up his
hands. "Hey- no- I told you- no happy." She slowly
walked directly in
front of him. She lowered her head to his neck, kissing
him softly. "Cor- hey- I said-"
She bit his neck
gently, her hands drifting down his chest to his
hips. She unzipped
his pants and found him quickly. Angel tried to push
her away, but was slammed into the door again. She started to
stroke him firmly,
continuing her assault on his neck. Angel gripped the
doorknob tightly, as his body responded to her actions. His body
tensed up as she
started to stroke harder. Cordelia's eyes met his as she
lowered herself to her knees. Angel watched her warily. She took
him in her mouth,
moving with expert speed. Angel groaned loudly, his free
hand clutching her hair. Cordelia sucked on him firmly and ran
her fingers down his
chest. Angel groaned loudly, the back of his head
hitting the door.
"Cor- Cordy-"
He gasped. "I-I'm-" Suddenly, Cordelia stopped. Angel's
head shot down.
The Seer stood up
slowly, smirking. "You said sex was about pleasure
and pain
right?" The discomfort on his face was clearly
evident.
"Well...you had the pleasure...now here's the pain." She
pushed her body onto
his hard, causing Angel to moan loudly. She kissed
him hard, her tongue invading his mouth. She pulled away,
biting his lower
lip. Cordelia smiled wickedly. "I love playing games,
don't you?" She kissed Angel gently, then pushed him out of
the way, opening the
door. She took one step out. "Night, baby..." She
walked out.
Angel stood in
shock, his discomfort growing. "Oh- oh-" He
stammered. "
COME ON!!" He groaned once more, then limped to the bathroom.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 5
Their system worked.
Cordelia and Angel's plan worked. It was almost
too good. Pleasure
in exchange for pleasure. It had been two months since
Cordelia's assault on Angel in the office. He hadn't forgotten.
He got his revenge
just one day later. Made her beg him for anything that
resembled release. Then he refused to give it to her. Left her
on the floor of her
kitchen shouting curses at him. Nothing he hadn't been
called before. After a few days of glaring and silence, they
both put it behind
them without a word about it. But the system didn't
change. Cordelia found herself staying at the Hyperion once a
week. Once a week
turned into twice a week. Twice a week turned to every
other day. Now every night it was the Seer at the hotel or the
vampire at the
apartment. Always late at night. Four hours was all they
needed. However, there were problems. Cordelia often ended up
with bruises on her
hips, a product of Angel being too controlling. Angel
regularly ended up with scrapes on his shoulders from the
girl's nails. This
usually happened only when he went down on her. When
he decided to go manually, he ended up with bite marks on his
shoulders and neck.
Nothing he wasn't used to. Luckily he healed quickly.
Cordelia wasn't so blessed. She stopped wearing low cut
pants and midriffs.
Angel couldn't help but feel guilty, but that was the
way their system was. Always intense. Cordelia had even noticed a
change in Angel. Not
a vast transformation, but just enough. She witnessed
a change in his demeanor when they had one of
their `encounters'.
He became rough, and she did the same in return. But
it never bothered her. It was always in the moment.
They had kept this
secret from everyone. For two months they had
their own `club'.
And for some reason, Angel fancied that. He would crack
jokes, sick jokes, about sex and pain. This left the others
staring at him in
confusion. But that didn't disturb Cordelia as much as
the fact that she found those jokes funny. She found his dark
humor amusing. But
that was just a minor change. Nothing to worry about.
At the moment,
Cordelia and Angel sat in Wesley's office. Cordelia
sat with her laptop
in front of her, listening to MP3's and playing games.
Angel sat beside her with a book in his hand. The other three,
Wesley, Fred, and
Gunn; sat along the counter, playing a game of Scrabble.
A slow night it was.
Cordelia hummed
along to her music when she suddenly gasped. A cold
hand rested on her
bare knee and was slowly making it's way up her leg.
She glanced at Angel, who hadn't changed. He still sat reclined
in the leather
chair, holding his book with one hand. His face was in deep
thought, apparently engrossed in his book. Or so it seemed.
Cordelia gasped
loudly when he reached between her legs. The vampire slowly
shifted his chair, smartly blocking his hand and Cordelia from
view of their
friends. The Seer looked up through the window, where Gunn
was bragging his victory. They were utterly clueless.
"Angel-"
Cordelia exhaled, as his strokes began. "N-Not now...they're
right there..."
Angel did nothing but crack the tiniest of smiles. He turned
the page of his book with his finger, and increased his
fingering below the
desk. Cordelia gripped the edge of the desk with one
hand, the other clutching the arm of her chair. The vampire
continued his
actions nonchalantly, only glancing out the window every
once and a while. "My God- oh-" Cordelia covered her mouth
tightly, trying to
muffle her moans. Angel caught her discomfort and gave
her one solid stroke. Just to see her reaction. She let out a
diminutive cry,
gritting her teeth. He raised an eyebrow. "God- Angel...God..."
"Don't call me
that." He finally spoke in a whisper. His face
continued to remain
emotionless, but his eyes told a different story. He
was amused beyond reason. "A god can't do this...a god can't make
you we-"
"Angel?"
Angel's head flipped to the door. Fred stood there, smiling.
He quickly pulled
his leg up on the desk, and rested his book upright on
the arm of his chair, blocking any view she could have had.
Angel smiled
brightly at the young girl. "Hey, Fred." He started to
rub Cordelia hard,
enjoying the sudden risk they were taking. Cordelia
gasped and buried her face in her hands.
Fred grin faded
slightly. "Is Cordy okay?" Cordelia's shoulders began
to heave and she
whimpered quietly. "Cor?"
Angel shrugged.
"She lost her game. Taking it pretty hard." He
fingered her slowly.
Cordelia almost collapsed from the sensation.
"Um,
okay." She answered. "Angel, we were wondering...had a
debate...can you
really speak Gaelic?"
"YES."
Cordelia groaned between her hands. "He speaks a bunch of
languages. He's been
around the block a couple of times." Angel nodded
wildly in agreement.
Fred smiled.
"Okay- thanks! Bye!"
"Bye!"
Angel imitated her cheerful exit and continued his `game'.
"Angel..."
Cordelia pleaded. Her hand drifted below and gripped his
hand tightly. He
stopped. Instead of pulling him away, she began to guide
him. Angel slowly smiled, taking her lesson into consideration.
He turned the page
of his book, reading calmly. Cordelia lowered her head,
his hand increasing the pressure. She breathed hard, trying not
to scream. Angel
felt her orgasm approaching, and he started to provide
rough strokes to get her there. She finally came violently,
biting her hand to
stop any sounds from coming out. After she had composed
herself, he removed his hand. Cordelia slouched in her
chair, breathing
hard. Slowly, she turned her head to look at the vampire
sitting next to her. He hadn't changed, still deeply
engrossed in his
book. But a tiny hint of a smile played on his lips.
************
After a few hours,
everyone had pretty much left. Fred had gone to
her room, and the
two men were out the door. As soon as Wesley had closed
the door, Angel had dashed across the room and grabbed
Cordelia from
behind. He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other resting
on her stomach. He nibbled and sucked on her neck, trying to
push her into the
office. Cordelia dig her heels into the polished floor,
stopping all attempts. She closed her eyes and leaned into
Angel's chest, her
breathing quickening with each bite. He started to slowly
grind against her, his hold on her waist tightening. Finally,
Cordelia pulled away
with all her force.
Angel frowned
slightly. "What." He started to walk toward her.
Cordelia backed away
until she hit the counter. "Angel- look. We have
to stop. What if
they find out? We've been really pushing it lately and
we could really just lose it-" She was interrupted by Angel's
chuckling.
"What?"
Angel put his hands
on the Seer's shoulders, rubbing up and down her
arms. "Hey- no
one is going to fine out. And we won't lose it, okay?" Cordelia
opened her mouth to reply, and Angel silenced her with a
kiss. "No
losing." He slowly dropped to his knees. "We'll be okay."
He kept his eyes on
Cordelia, lifting up her skirt. "No one will find out..."
He pushed her panties over slightly. "And we'll be in total
control." He
lowered his face in between her legs.
Cordelia closed her
eyes. "We're in control..." She gasped, her
fingers winding into
Angel's hair. "We're in control...we won't lose it..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 6
They lost it. They
were no longer in control. It had started wrong to
begin with. Cordelia
had stomped up to Angel's room, furious. He had made
a rather derogatory comment at Cordelia in front of the rest of
the team, enough to
make her visibly embarrassed. `Wild, Tight Bitch' was
not a phrase to be muttered in the presence of others. But she
had waited until the
others were gone at a movie to make her anger known.
She stalked into his room, slamming the door behind her. The
vampire had spun
around, and looked happy to see her. He walked to her,
leaning down to give her a kiss, and when he did, she slapped
him hard across the
face. Hard enough to make her palm sting. Angel flew
back several steps, holding onto his face. He looked genuinely
hurt and confused.
He really had no idea why she had slapped him. Cordelia
felt guilt override her, and she moved toward him, mumbling
apologies. That's
when he struck. Angel grabbed the Seer by the hair and
flung her across the room, right into the table. She hit the
table hard enough to
knock the wind out of her, and before she could react,
he had grabbed her again and thrown her on the bed. Angel
climbed on top of
Cordelia and kissed her hard. After a few seconds of
trying to push him off, she pressed him to her, returning anything
he gave her. Their
clothes were ripped and thrown to the floor, left behind
in their `game'.
And that's how they
got to where they were. Angel on top of Cordelia,
thrusting as hard as
he could into her. He had his face buried in her neck,
sucking on it. Her leg was thrown over his hip, and she held
onto his back
tightly. She let loose, allowing any scream and cry to come
out. Angel got onto his knees, Cordelia's hips followed. He
rested himself on
his elbows, pounding into her harder. She looked at his
face and almost lost it. He stared at her with such intensity.
Cordelia gritted her
teeth, thrusting hard, trying to get any reaction
from him. Something in Angel's eyes changed. He roughly
grabbed her hands,
pinning them to the mattress. She cried out slightly,
his grip on her wrist tensing. He drove himself into
Cordelia, each
thrust rougher and harder than the last. Cordelia gasped
loudly. He was starting to hurt her. The vampire buried his
face in her neck
again, a low growl coming from his throat. He began to
move faster, the bed actually rocking with their movement.
"Angel..."
Cordelia whispered, trying to lift her hands. "Angel-
you're hurting
me-" He ignored her, continuing his movement. She tried
to protest again, but he bit her shoulder hard, causing her to
cry out. She tried
to fight against him, attempting to sit up. Angel's
thrusts increased, and despite herself, she cried out. Her
nails dug into his
hands, and her back arched, as she started to climax.
Her orgasm hit hard, her body crashing against his. He
collapsed on top of
her, his grasp on her wrists easing. They laid still
for several minutes, Cordelia closing her eyes.
Finally, Angel
opened his eyes, swallowing hard. His eyes drifted to
Cordelia's face. She
was too still, her face pale and almost
battered. Bruises
were beginning to form along her neck and down her
shoulders. She had a
red mark just below her cheek. Angel touched her face
gently, almost fearfully. "Cordelia...Cordy." She groaned,
stirring slightly.
Her eyes opened, trying to focus. She shifted painfully.
"Oh, God...I'm sorry- I'm so sorry..."
After a few seconds,
a smile appeared on Cordelia's face. A forced
smile. "Hey, I
can take it....come on." He returned the smile, slightly
confused, as Cordelia pulled him to her.
"I-I don't know
what happened..."
"It's
okay..." Cordelia whispered. She hugged him tightly, trying to
ignore the fear that
was threatening to scream out.
************
Cordelia watched
Angel intently. He was spread out on the couch,
deeply engrossed in
his book on the battles of the soul. It was almost
ironic, if not for the fact Angel was way too into it. His
face carried a
profoundly serious look, his eyes running side to side rapidly.
The Seer shifted in her position on the lime green futon,
pushing her magazine
out of the way. She fixed the scarf around her neck,
and glanced at the door. She was amazed at how easy it was to
avoid the rest of
the group. They attributed Cordelia and Angel's sudden
reluctance to join them for dinner as mood swings. Plain and
simple.
The girl cleared her
throat loudly. Angel's eyes slowly drifted up,
as if the task of
breaking away from his book was too much. "Cord?"
"Angel,"
Cordelia sat up, turning her body to fully face the
vampire. "We're
not going to talk about what happened yesterday, are we?"
Angel swung his legs
over the couch and sat upright. His book dropped
to his lap.
"You...want to talk about it? I-I mean, I don't know what got
into me- it wasn't me- I told you I was sor-"
Cordelia held her
hand up. "It's not that, Angel. Are you playing
me?"
"What?"
Angel blinked, standing up. Cordelia stood up as well.
"Cordelia- playing you? I don't understand."
She shrugged.
"My mistake. Whatever." Angel nodded slowly, watching
her. The Seer walked
past Angel, grabbing her purse and jacket. "Tell the
guys I went home early, long day. Night."
Angel barely nodded,
his eyes still on her. "Night." He turned to
walk upstairs.
Cordelia stopped at
the door, and turned around. "Oh, Angelus?" Angel
turned around before
he could stop himself. Cordelia nodded
grimly. "I
thought so." She walked out, leaving Angel staring at the
closed door in
shock.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 7
"Morning."
"Hmm?"
"I-I said
'Morning'."
Cordelia looked up
from her position at Wesley's desk, and gave Angel
a knowing, yet
patronizing smile. "Of course you did..." She turned back
to her game of solitaire.
Angel looked out to
the lobby, finding it empty. It was too early for
anyone to be in. The
sun was barely up. Yet Cordelia sat there, calmly
playing on the computer and sipping her lemon iced tea. It had
been a week since
Cordelia called Angel out, to his surprise. A rough week.
The two lovers had managed to stay out of each other's way.
Angel had to handle
this new and sudden adjustment with cold showers and
grueling workouts in the basement. Cordelia, however, was calm
and collected. She
showed no memory of the past few weeks. There were no
more touches or looks on her side. Just a cold, and often blank
demeanor. Only
towards Angel. He couldn't stop the feelings of hurt and
confusion. He didn't know what was going on. Not at all.
"Why are you
here?" The vampire demanded suddenly.
Cordelia once again
looked up from the screen. "Why am I here? Why is
anyone here? What's
the meaning of life? Why do bad things happen to good
people? Who keeps giving Mariah Carey movie scripts?" She
chuckled dryly.
"Mysteries of life..."
Angel slammed his
hands down on the desk, leaning forward. "Cut it
out, Cordelia."
He muttered. "What's going on? With us."
Cordelia smiled,
then leaned forward. "What do you mean?"
"Dammit,
Cordelia- you know exactly what I mean. We're
all...different."
Something in
Cordelia's eyes changed. "We became different when you
shoved your hand
between my legs." She replied curtly.
Angel lowered his
head, accepting the bare truth. "I know." He
muttered. "But
now. What about now? It was-"
"Good morning,
Angel!" Fred's cheerful voice rang down the stairs.
Angel quickly
straightened up and spun around, trying in vain to
seem 'normal'.
"Hiya, Fred. How are you?" He didn't pay attention to the
young girl's answer. His mind was going a hundred miles a minute.
He needed to resolve
this conflict with Cordelia, and soon. After a few
minutes, with Fred still talking, Angel smiled. Fred giggled,
thinking Angel
fancied her joke, but he knew better. He figured out how
he was going to get into Cordelia's good graces again. The
vampire turned and
looked at his Seer, who was very much into her game.
His smile grew wider. She will see the real him. Soon.
************
Cordelia picked up
her bag and her jacket, and turned off the lights.
Her eyes quickly
adjusted to the dark as she headed through the lobby to
the front door. She opened the door slowly, and almost immediately
it was slammed shut.
Cordelia jumped back, then relaxed. "Dammit, Angel."
Angel's sigh was
heard from the shadows. "Sorry. We need to talk."
Cordelia rolled her
eyes. "I don't want to talk."
"I do."
"Fine."
The Seer threw down her bag dramatically and stared directly
ahead, hoping Angel
was standing there. "We'll talk." Silence.
"Angel." Nothing. She couldn't stop the goose bumps that
started to crawl up
and down her arms. "A-Angel." A cold hand rested
on her arm, and she
yelped.
Angel quickly
covered Cordelia's mouth. "Ssh. It's just me...you know
that." He let
her go.
Cordelia spun
around, Angel's face somewhat visible. "Yeah, just
you...whoever you
are." Angel ignored her last comment. "Well?"
"I-I want to
talk." Angel muttered, grabbing her jacket and fumbling
with it. "I
want to talk and I don't know how...I don't know how to do
this."
Cordelia glared at
him. "Let me help you out. You screwed me over!
What the hell is
your problem?! You could've gotten us both hurt! Worse!
What is wrong with you?!"
"It was the
only way..." Angel whispered, his face painfully
shamed. "It was
the only way I could be with you without the curse...I
let him- so I can- I thought you wouldn't-" Cordelia
grabbed her bag off
the floor. Angel shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."
"Oh, I
understand." Cordelia snatched her jacket back, pushing her
way past angel.
"You're sick. You're so sick."
Suddenly, Cordelia
felt a cool body press against her. "But you liked
it..." Angel
growled in her ear, his arm wrapping around her waist.
"You liked all of it." His other hand pulled the bag off her
bare shoulder.
"You like it and it scares you, doesn't it?" His hand made
it's way down her body. "I know you, you're so scared..."
"Angel-
stop." Cordelia's breathing quickened. "Angel- God..." His
hand slipped between
her legs forcefully. She gasped, her body immediately
reacting to his touch. She tried to push him away as he
kept on rambling.
"Please- stop..." With all her strength, she shoved
Angel away.
Angel stumbled back
a few steps, and frowned. "Cordy..." He moved
towards her.
"Get away from
me!" Cordelia shouted, stepping back. "What- you're
sick! Why would you
think Angelus would-"
The vampire shook
his head, either not comprehending or choosing not
to. "No- I'm
right. You liked it." A glint of realization flashed in his
eyes. "You- you knew..."
Cordelia shook her
head. "No- I didn't. YOU-"
"You liked
it." Angel interrupted, a delirious smile playing on his
lips. "You
liked it- that's why you kept on- you knew exactly what was
going on."
"No I didn't!
Angel- you're talking crazy! Listen to me!"
"See? We're so
much alike- I knew it..."
"Are you even
listening to me?! Angel!"
"You knew what
I was doing- you loved it- you got to feel me-"
"SHUT UP!"
"You liked it
all...the pain...the danger...the biting....the
hits..." Angel
's smile suddenly faded, and it was like he came back to
earth. "Oh my God, Cordelia..." He suddenly felt ill. "I'm so
sorry. God...I need
help." He looked up at Cordelia. "Please, help me...I-I
can't do this anymore- I can't control it..."
Wordlessly, Cordelia
dashed over and kissed Angel hard, knocking them
both back a few
steps. Angel stood there in shock as Cordelia ripped his
shirt open, working her way down his chest. He gaped at his Seer
and forced her to
look at him. She smiled. A different kind of smile.
"You are going to fuck me." She hissed, her eyes blazing. "As
hard as you
can-"
"W-What? Cordy-
no!" He tried to push the girl away as her tongue ran
down his stomach.
"No!" Her eyes met his. Angel stared at her sadly.
"What's wrong with you? This...this isn't you..."
Cordelia jolted to
his level, glaring at him. "Fuck you." She
muttered, kissing
him hard enough to make his head slam against the door.
The glass cracked,
the only sound in the now silent hotel. Angel
stood there, frozen,
as Cordelia's hands made their way to his pants. She
jerked his pants open, tearing the fabric. They locked eyes once
again, and something
flashed in Angel's. His hands yanked her skirt up
hastily as she started to yank his pants down. He grabbed Cordelia
roughly, and spun
them both around. He slammed her against the door, the
glass cracking more. Cordelia grinned as Angel picked her up,
pinning her against
the already fragile glass. She wrapped her legs around
his hips as he entered her roughly. Cordelia screamed, holding
onto Angel for dear
life. He pounded into her, the glass cracking with
each movement. She met every thrust, each one rougher and harder
than the last. The
vampire bit the Seer's neck, sucking on it. She gasped
and gripped his back, her nails digging into his skin through
the fabric of his
shirt. Her cried got louder as he moved faster. Finally,
she climaxed, her body moving frantically. Angel came after,
his hands gripping
her legs tightly. They both fell to the floor exhausted,
Cordelia on top of Angel. He swallowed hard, trying to
calm himself down.
They laid there in silence. Finally, the glass came
crashing down.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 8
Cordelia stared
straight ahead, her hand absently stirring her cup of
black coffee.
"You let me violate you." She sang monotonously. Her
voice was barely
above a whisper, but that didn't matter. No one else was
in the office. The others had ran off to question an owner of a
club that might have
been housing demons. No one was there. Just her and
the black coffee. "You let me desecrate you." She could hear the
swishing of broom
against floor, and the crackling of glass against plastic.
The night was
intense. It was the only way to describe it. It went on
and on. Cordelia and
Angel had managed to gather themselves up just as
Wesley and Gunn walked in with breakfast. Gunn had expressed
immediate concern,
asking what had attacked them. They had no clue. No.
Fucking. Clue.
Angel walked into
the office, broom and dustpan in hand. He quietly
dumped the shards of
glass into the trashcan. Cordelia watched his back
steadily. "I wanna fuck you like an animal." She muttered in a
low voice. He
stopped for a moment, and then set the broom on the wall.
He rested the dustpan next to it, and then moved for the door.
She made a noise
resembling a high-pitched moan, and he stopped yet again,
turning his head slightly. She smirked. "I wanna feel you from
the inside."
"I'm
sorry." He finally spoke, his voice barely heard.
"What was
that?"
His back remained to
her. "I'm SORRY."
She giggled.
"For?"
Angel turned
completely, his eyes full of shame. "For last night. I'
m.sorry." She
continued to smile, staring at him. He sighed, rubbing the
bridge of his nose roughly. "Last night." He gestured with his
hand. "I'm
sorry.for what I did. For what I've been doing. I shouldn't
have." He sighed again, stepping forward. The vampire
grabbed Cordelia's
arm, staring at the fresh, red marks on her skin.
"I'm sorry for that."
Cordelia jerked her
arm away, glaring at him. "You got it worse than
me."
Angel shifted
uncomfortably. "I can put on a shirt." She remained
silent. He lowered
his head. "We- that.it shouldn't have happened."
"It's been
happening like that for months." Cordelia replied icily,
taking a long sip of
her coffee.
"I know."
"Whatever.
You're sorry.everyone's sorry." She stood up and walked
over to the
trashcan. Her attempts at hiding her slight limp didn't go
unnoticed by Angel. He followed her, stopping a foot from her. She
leaned forward,
picking up a piece of glass from the can.
"What are you
doing?" The girl started to poke her finger with the
sharpest edge of the
glass, the shard digging into her skin and producing
tiny droplets of blood. "Hey-" He reached over and grabbed
Cordelia's wrist.
"Stop that."
She jerked her arm
away and spun around, her back hitting the wall.
"DON'T touch me!"
"Give me the
glass-"
"NO-"
"GIVE me the
glass-" They started struggling, Cordelia trying to
escape her
entrapment against the wall and Angel trying to take the potential
weapon. "Cordy- what's wrong with you- stop it!" She
started hitting him
and he moved his body away from her slaps. The Seer
managed to break free and headed towards the door. Angel
followed her,
grabbing her arm and spinning her around. "Cordelia, what
the hell-" He was cut off by the glass slicing across his face.
He stumbled back,
holding onto his cut cheek.
Cordelia glared at
Angel, dropping the glass and stomping out of the
office. He stared at
the open door numbly, her hand pressing against the
thin cut she had just made.
***********
Wesley, Fred, and
Gunn stared at Angel. He stared back.
The Watcher cleared
his throat. "A-Angel.when did you begin smoking?"
The vampire stared
at the man blankly, taking a long drag out of his
lit cigarette. He
blew the smoke out. "When did you start acting like a
man?"
Wesley blinked,
slightly surprised at his response. "Angel."
Gunn stood up,
yanking both the Watcher and Fred up. "I think we
should go get
dinner." He muttered, the annoyance clear in his voice.
"Yo- CORDY!" Silence filled the hotel. "CORDELIA!" Nothing.
The boy shook his
head. "Let' s go." He led the two out of the hotel.
The second the three
had exited, Cordelia walked down the stairs and
into the lobby. She
silently made her way to the small table behind the
counter, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
Angel hesitated,
then stood up, snuffing out his cigarette onto the
floor. He walked
over to her side. "Hi."
She sipped her
coffee, then picked up an apple from the mini-
fridge.
"Hi." She selected a knife and began to cut the piece of fruit.
"Why did you
attack me?" He demanded.
Cordelia halted, her
glare piercing through him. "YOU? Why did I
attack YOU?"
"Yes."
She slammed the
knife and apple down. "YOU attacked me."
Angel returned her
glare. "You were hurting yourself!"
"No I wasn't!
YOU hurt me!"
The vampire froze.
She was right. All those months, he had been hurting
her. "You're right..." He mumbled, frozen. "You're right.
I've been hurting
you.I 'm sorry."
Her eyes softened
gradually, and she sighed. "Oh, God, Angel.I didn't
mean-"
"I'm sorry it
was your fault." He interrupted her.
"My
fault?"
"Y-You did it.
You did it all." Before Cordelia could react, Angel
had grabbed her
wrist, forcing her to face him fully. "You MADE me feel
for you- you made me want you.it hurt- you made it hurt,
Cordelia."
"I NEVER-"
The Seer started to struggle with him, trying to pull her
arm away so urgently
that her entire body was bending down to do so.
"Angel! I didn't-"
Angel gripped her
wrist tighter, getting a cry from her. "You tried
to mess with me-
played with my head all that time.teased me and laughed
at me and made me do things- you tricked me and played with
me- enough is
ENOUGH, Cordelia." He jerked her body into the counter,
turning her cup of
coffee over. The black liquid ran onto the
wood. "WHY do
you keep playing with me?!" Anger flashed in his eyes.
Cordelia gripped
Angel's shirt, trying to shove him away. "You're
scaring me, stop it!
Let go!" She got her arm free and shoved him away.
"You're fucking crazy!" She screamed, rubbing her arm. "Don't
you DARE come near
me again!" She backed up into the desk, glaring at him.
Angel stared at
Cordelia in shock. "Cordy.I."
She shook her head.
"No!" She shrieked, her eyes wild. "We're not
friends-" She
reached across her desk, grabbing a piece of paper and crumbling
up. "Take your DAMN picture-" She threw the wad of paper at
him. "And leave
me ALONE!" She grabbed her jacket and started towards the
door.
"Cordy, no.
Don't leave-" The knife was picked up.
"Leave me
ALONE!" He was walking towards her.
"You can't do
this. It wasn't me." Right behind her.
"YES it
WAS."
It all happened so
quickly. Angel didn't even feel any of it. He
didn't feel his hand
grabbing Cordelia's arm and spinning her around.
He didn't feel her
cutting words stabbing his heart.
He didn't feel the
slaps hitting his chest and face.
And he didn't feel
the knife sliding into Cordelia's stomach effortlessly.
All Angel heard was
the loud gasp.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 9
//"Look at
me."
Angel's eyes drifted
down to Cordelia's hazel ones. "I'm always
looking at
you."
"I know."
She looked around, brushing a strand of streaked hair from
her face. Her teeth
started to nip and bite at her lower lip
nervously.
"This is a nice place."
"I know."
Angel rested his hands on the Seer's shoulders, tilting his
head so he was
looking into her eyes. "It's better than before." He
paused, looking at
the shadow behind her. "You're better here."
"No, I'm
not." He froze, looking at her. She smiled blankly. "Are you
gonna kiss me now or
just keep staring?"
The vampire smiled
and lowered his face to Cordelia's, kissing her
gently. Their
embrace grew deeper and more intense, until Angel pulled
away. He unconsciously started to breathe hard. The girl
stared at him
quizzically. "Let me..." He said in a hushed whisper.
"Let you
what?"
"Hurt
you." His grip tightened on her shoulders. "You want me to- let
me."
Cordelia stared at
Angel, a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. Suddenly,
the look
disappeared, replaced with a grin. "Okay." He returned her smile.
"Okay…" The girl's hand drifted down to her stomach. He looked
down, seeing her
blood soaked stomach. She looked up at him, a hint of
playfulness in her eyes. "Just be more creative this time, okay?"
She sighed,
exasperated. "Angel..."//
"ANGEL."
Angel opened his
eyes slowly, coming out of his reverie. He focused
on Wesley and Gunn's
worried expressions. He smiled. "Hey, guys."
Wesley frowned,
looking around the waiting room. He turned his gaze
back to Angel.
"What happened with Cordelia?"
"Cordelia?"
Angel chuckled quietly, and it turned into a full-blown
laugh. "That
was…wow. I've seen a lot of things back in the day, but this
just shocked-"
Gunn scowled,
crossing his arms. "Let's try again. HOW did Cordelia
get a butcher knife
through her stomach? HOW did she get a dozen stitches?
HOW did you two end up here?"
The vampire rolled
his eyes, sitting up. "She didn't get a dozen
stitches. It was
just a flesh wound- all vital organs were missed-"
"HOW did she
get stabbed?" Gunn interrupted sharply.
Angel sighed
painfully. "She stabbed herself." Wesley and Gunn looked
at each other in
shock. The odd man out shrugged. "I-I tried to stop her."
He leaned forward. "Cordelia has some serious problems, guys."
***********
Cordelia opened her
eyes, staring into a stark whiteness. "Uh- I'm
dead."
"No, you're
not."
She sat up slowly,
seeing a very worried looking Fred across from
her. "Hi?"
The girl smiled. "Um, Fred- what am I doing here?"
Fred frowned.
"You don't remember?" Cordelia shook her head. "You
stabbed
yourself…"
"I WHAT?"
"Angel told
us."
"He WHAT?"
Fred sighed, pushing
her glasses up. "Cordy, why didn't you tell us
you were having
problems? We could've helped…gotten therapy or something.
We would've listened. You don't ever have to think you're
alone, you know
that, right?"
Cordelia shook her
head wildly, and then stared at Fred. "Fred,
listen to me. I did
NOT stab myself. I was stabbed-"
"Angel told us
you would try to change your story."
"Fred, NO.
Listen!"
The door of the
hospital room opened, and Wesley poked his head in.
"May I come in?" Fred nodded. The ex-Watcher walked in, smiling
at Cordelia.
"Hi, Cordy. Ready to go home?"
Cordelia stared at
Wesley, a confused look spread on her face. "Y-
Yeah."
Wesley smiled
brighter. "We're going to make sure you're okay,
Cordelia." She
simply stared at him.
***********
Cordelia paced the
dark room slowly and sighed. They didn't trust
her. She wasn't
allowed to be alone at her apartment, even with Dennis
there. She was taken to the hotel. Every piece of "harmful
substance" was
removed from her presence and hidden. Every half hour, someone
would poke his or her head in just to "check up on her".
Everyone but Angel.
She sat on the
corner of the large bed, lifting up her pink shirt.
She stared at her
bandaged wound for several minutes. Dark bruises had
settled around the white fabric, the only visible evidence of the
attack earlier. She
didn't even remember the whole thing, just bits and
pieces. Like Angel's eyes. It wasn't Angel.
A small knock came
at the door. She looked up, gazing at the door.
"Come in."
Angel poked his head
in, smiling slightly. "Can I come in?"
"Come in."
He walked in,
closing the door. They stared at each other for several
moments. Finally, he
spoke. "Are you okay?"
Her hand curled into
a fist, and her nails started to dig into
flesh. "All
things considered."
Angel nodded,
waiting a moment before moving across the room and
sitting beside the
girl. She didn't look at him. "The pain should go away
in a few days…we should check the gash out later, just in case,
you know."
"Why did you
stab me?" Cordelia demanded stridently, turning to face
him.
He immediately
appeared puzzled. "What?"
The fist grew
tighter. She could feel droplets of blood on her
skin. "You
HEARD me."
"I didn't stab
you." Cordelia lifted her shirt, showing him the
binding. He frowned.
"Cordelia." Nothing. "I didn't stab you."
She stood up and
faced him. He could feel the cold coming from
her. "Get
out."
"What?"
Cordelia walked
towards the door, her hand resting on the doorknob.
"I want you out. I don't want to see you until you get REAL
and talk to me like
a human being. I'm sick of you treating me like a moron.
I know what's-" She spun around and jumped. Angel was right in
front of her.
"-Up."
The vampire stepped
forward until the Seer was planted against the
entrance.
"Don't give me that…" He murmured.
"Get out."
Cordelia whispered, trying to push him away. She turned
around, her hand on
the doorknob again.
Angel slammed her
face first against the door, pushing his body
against hers. A
surprise yelp came out of her mouth as his body pressed
closer. One cold hand slipped under her pink shirt, touching
the bandage. The
Seer stiffened up as he ripped the bandage off. She held
back a cry as the hot sting flowed through her skin.
"Get out?"
He muttered, pushing one hand on her still fresh wound.
Cordelia couldn't
hold in the whimper of pain and gripped Angel's wrist
tightly. "Oh, don't be a baby-" He hissed in her ear.
She tried to step
backwards and was shoved into the door again,
producing a loud
bang. "Angel..." She whispered, feeling his free
hand slipping into
her jeans. His other hand pressed harder to her wound.
"A-Angelus?" She tried again.
Angel removed his
hand from her stomach and grabbed her hair, forcing
her head back.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" He kissed her hard, his
hand finally slipping between her legs swiftly. He began the
procedure, moving
his hand up and down. Cordelia buckled at his touch,
her head hitting the door. He swung her around, pushing her
towards the bed.
"N-No- Wes- the
guys…they're down stairs…"
"No, they're
not." The vampire replied. Both fell onto the bed. He
started to tug her
jeans down, his mouth moving down her neck. She tried
to shove him off, but with no avail. "You're gonna feel the
pain, honey- can you
feel it?" Suddenly, Cordelia whipped around on her
back, staring at him. Angel smirked. "What?"
Cordelia gazed at
him before silently lowering his head to her neck.
Angel chuckled and
immediately responded, nipping at the skin. He started
to move lower, biting and licking her skin. Her collarbone.
Her cleavage. Her
stomach.
The vampire stopped
at her stomach. Her wound was open. The blood was
dripping down her
flesh. He looked up at her. "Let me…" Without hesitation,
she pushed his head down to her gash, letting him lick
the blood from her
stomach. The pain was blurred by the abrupt
gratification coming
in sequences. She stared at the ceiling blankly,
her body reacting as
he began to pleasure her with his hands. Her body
jerked and arched in pleasure for him. His teeth scraped at her
skin, opening her
wound more.
She didn't feel a
thing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 10
Angel
opened his eyes slowly. A small ray of sun rested right by his
head and he
immediately rolled away from the harm that was sure to come
to him. He sat up and looked around. He barely remembered the
night before. He
smelled Cordelia. A lot of her. Blood. He tasted blood.
His eyes drifted to the bed. The light blue sheets were
crumpled and pulled
all over the place, with spots of blood decorating
the fabric. The same could've been said about his clothes.
The headboard was
several inches from the wall, and he stared at it in
utter confusion.
The loud sound of
the shower running broke Angel out of his puzzled
daze. He stood and
walked over to the slightly open door. He heard a radio
playing an acoustic song softly, barely heard over the roar of
water hitting
ceramic tiles. His hand pushed the heavy door open slightly,
and he could see the curvy frame in the shower curtain. He
grew bolder and
shifted sideways to get a better look. Half in and half
out of the room, he watched Cordelia steadily. She moved
somewhat stiffly, he
noticed, and couldn't help but feel a bit guilty even
if he didn't know why. He moved in closer.
Cordelia let the hot
water hit her body, closing her eyes. She ran a
hand over her still
fresh wound and flinched. He had sucked all the blood
from her gash- enough to make her dizzy. Her hand rested on the
smooth wall for
balance, and she lifted her head, the steam surrounding
her.
Suddenly, the
curtain was ripped open. The Seer spun around and came
face to face with
Angel. She began to cover her naked form. "Angel."
"Hi."
Her eyes hardened.
"Don't you knock?"
A grin slowly
appeared on Angel's face. "Nothing I haven't seen
before, right?"
"Yeah,
yeah." She muttered as she reached for the white towel hung
over the metal
curtain bar. The vampire tugged the towel on his side, pulling
it out of the girl's reach. She tried again, and he did the
same. She glared at
him. "Angel."
Angel stared at
Cordelia, slightly bemused. "What's wrong?"
Cordelia finally
grabbed the towel, wrapping it around her body.
"What's wrong? You're acting like we're a couple-" A slightly
hurt look appeared
on his face. She ignored it. "You think last night won't
have some sort of effect on our-"
"Take the towel
off."
She couldn't hide
the slightly confused look that came over her face
because of his
abrupt request. "W-What?"
He crossed his arms
slowly, the wounded look on his face completely
gone. "You
heard me." A smile played on the corner of his mouth. "Do
it."
Cordelia stared at
Angel for more than a minute, debating whether he
was serious or not.
The determination never left his eyes. Her hands gradually
moved to the top of the towel, undoing it from her body. It
dropped to the cold
floor of the shower, immediately getting rained on.
She stood there, and slowly lifted her head high, looking down at
the man in front of
her.
Angel watched
Cordelia for several minutes. The superior look she
gave him began to
eat at his mind. Who was she to look at him like that?
He stepped forward into the shower, ignoring the water hitting
his clothes. He
moved forward until she was pinned to the wall. "How does
it feel?" He whispered, his fingers running down her stomach
slowly.
"How does what
feel?" She breathed, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.
"Being exposed.
Only because I told you to…" His shirt was stripped
from his body.
She pushed her body
against his chest, feeling him harden at her touch.
"I didn't do it for you..." She muttered.
"Then whom did
you do it for?" She didn't answer. He smiled, his
hands traveling up
her stomach, between her breasts. "It's okay…you don't
have to be in control all the time, Cordelia. Let me have it
for a bit...you know
it feels good when I have it."
Cordelia turned
around, her hands yanking down Angel's pants. He
kicked the wet
clothing to the side, kissing her hard. He bit her lower
lip roughly, one hand grasping her hair tightly. He pulled her
head back, licking
the nape of her neck lightly. The girl gasped softly,
her hands pressing against his chest. He grabbed her hips and
spun her around into
the wall. She knew what he was going to do and pushed
her hands against the tiles.
Angel drove into the
Seer quickly, producing a gasp from her. The hot
water hit them as he
started to move at an agonizingly slow pace. Her nails
scraped the tile as his hands moved down her body. His hand
moved between her
legs, stroking her along with his thrusting. Her body
started to writhe in front of him, and he wrapped one arm around
her. She closed her
eyes, feeling the hot water cover them. Angel almost
felt warm in the small stall. Her hand moved to the knobs,
turning off the hot
water. He kept moving, gradually increasing his speed.
Low moans and sighs echoed in the bathroom, and water dripped
to the cool floor.
Her hand seemed to
freeze in mid-air, then move to the other knob,
turning it on full
blast. The cold water sprayed onto their bodies, and
they both gasped at the impact. He started to move harder,
thrusting into the
girl all the way. He linked their hips together, his
hips driving into her.
Angel's hand moved
from between Cordelia's legs to her breasts, the
sensation forcing
her to move away from his touch. He felt her hard nipples
between his fingers, and his mouth found her neck, sucking on
the flesh roughly.
She moaned loudly, her hips starting to roll in circles.
The vampire inhaled sharply, his grip tightening on her
waist. He began to
meet her thrusts, pushing harder with each
movement. Her
breathing grew ragged, and her heartbeat began to
increase. He pressed
her wound, and she cried out in pain.
The vampire chuckled
slightly, driving into Cordelia harder. She
moved with him, the
act getting rougher and faster. One hand clutched the
water knob, while the other moved to his hair. She held onto him
for dear life, moans
turning into cries, cries turning into screams. He
started to groan as well, forcing her head back and her mouth on
his. His mouth
violently assaulted hers, his tongue invading her mouth.
Cordelia's hand
moved down to Angel's neck, and her nails began to
dig into his skin.
He panted slightly, his hard cock ramming into her.
She screamed as her orgasm hit, her body jerking and thrashing
against his. He held
onto her, thrusting until he came as well.
She collapsed
against the wall, her knees slowly giving out. Angel
pulled out of her,
leaning against the corner. They both shook, the cold
water a stark contrast to the sudden heat over their bodies.
Cordelia shoved her
hair back away from her face, staring at Angel
blankly. "Are
we done for the day?"
"What?" He
breathed, swallowing hard.
"The daily
violent fuck. Was this it?"
He glared at her,
not sure what to say or even think. Darkness slowly
clouded his eyes.
"We're done when I say we're done. If I want to fuck
you in front of Los Angeles, I will." He stepped forward, his
fingers running down
her lips. "And you would let me." She shoved him
away. He laughed
slightly. "Don't be like that..." He stepped out of
the shower, picking
up his clothes. "Take care of your cut. See you later,
Cordelia." He walked out.
Cordelia watched
Angel leave, a slow rage filling her. She unconsciously
began to breathe hard. After a few seconds, she let out
a piercing scream.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 11
Cordelia tapped her
fingernails on the polished wood of the counter,
swinging her legs
back and forth. The back of her heels hit the wood, producing
a slight bang. She observed the group several feet away,
testing out new
weapons. Gunn grinned as he pretended to attack Wesley
with an axe, then patted Fred's arm in comfort at her wide-
eyed reaction. Angel
smiled slightly, picking up a mace and showing the
others how to hold it properly. He swung it, stopping just short
of Wesley's neck for
his demonstration. Fred immediately grabbed the mace
and attempted to imitate Angel.
With all there was
to watch, the Seer kept her eyes on Angel. Only
Angel. She didn't
understand what the problem was. He was acting perfectly
ordinary. Like he usually did. Except when he was with her.
When he was with
her, it was different. He changed completely. And after
all those months, she didn't understand. Her heels hit the wood
harder.
He turned his head
ever so slowly, locking eyes with her. She held
her ground, her eyes
narrowing. Her heels slammed against the
counter. He winked,
turning back to the group. The girl scowled, jumping
off the counter with a loud thump. Everyone stopped and
looked at her as she
stormed into the office, slamming the door.
"What's her
deal?" Gunn muttered, setting a dagger into a slot in the
weapons cabinet.
Angel shrugged.
"Women..."
Wesley examined a
sword before placing it in the cabinet. "She's
becoming very
peculiar." He said in a low voice.
Fred frowned,
looking into the office window nervously. "Do you think
we should do the
therapy sessions like the doctor said? He told us to bring
her back if she acts funny. Like now. We took out all the sharp
things in the
office, right?" The Watcher nodded. She sighed in relief.
Gunn turned to the
others, a look of concern on his face. "Do you
really think she
would hurt herself again? I mean- we're not exactly helping
with the tiptoeing and the random raids of her room."
"We must."
The Brit said quietly. "Her sheets had a bit of blood on
them. I suspect
she's been trying to harm herself."
"She
wouldn't..." Fred whispered.
"I worry about
her." The vampire spoke up. "You guys haven't been
with her overnight.
She talks to herself and laughs for no reason." He
gave a slightly shaky sigh. "It's the damn visions..."
"We should take
her to the hospital." Gunn mumbled. "I don't think-
just for a little
while."
"We
can't!" The girl cried out before lowering her voice. "We- we
just need to watch
her! We can't put her away like a crazy person! It's
Cordelia!"
"Don't
worry." Angel muttered. "She's just moody. I'll keep an eye on
her if you guys
want."
Wesley smiled
slightly. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you,
Angel." The
others grin at him.
He smirked.
"Anything for Cordelia."
***********
Cordelia walked up
the stairs, her heels clicking on the dark wood.
In her hand was a
glass of blood; slightly warm from the three minutes
it spent in the microwave. She stopped in front of Angel's
door, smoothing out
her red sundress. A hand was run through her loose
hair, and she opened the door.
The vampire looked
up from his bed when the door opening disturbed
the stillness in the
room. He blinked, seeing the Seer standing in the
doorframe. He sat up slowly. "Hi?"
"Hi." She
walked in, shutting the door. "I bought you some blood."
A smile crept onto
Angel's face. "You haven't bought me blood in
ages, Cordelia."
"I wanted to
today. Is that a problem?"
He stared at her
blank face for a long moment before shaking his
head.
"No." He held out his hand for the glass. "Does this mean you're
not mad at me?" She leaned over to give him the cup. "I mean,
I felt really
guilty- after that night, it was weird-" Her hand jerked
back. He chuckled slightly, standing. "But then I figured you
knew it was just a
joke. I mean- since everything about you is a joke...look
at yourself-"
She shoved the glass
into his hand. "Drink up." She muttered.
Angel brought the
glass to his lips, and then stopped. "Don't take it
personal, Cordelia."
He muttered. He smiled slightly. "Maybe you
should, right?"
He drank the blood slowly.
Cordelia sat on the
bed, crossing her legs. She watched him down the
liquid steadily.
"Ever since I was in high school..." She said dully.
"Poison has always fascinated me. I guess it was that movie.
Heathers. Ever seen
that movie?" He looked at her over the rim of the
glass. "I've
always wondered what poison would do to a person. It was pretty
obvious...but a dead person? That would be more interesting,
right?" The
vampire jerked the glass from his lips as realization occupied
his eyes. He dropped the glass, coughing. The rest of the
blood spilled onto
the floor near the Seer's feet. She smiled slowly.
"You alright, Angel?"
He started to breath
deeply for useless air, his hand fumbling for
the edge of the desk
by his bed. His eyes locked on Cordelia, and anger
filled them. "You bitch." He choked. He stumbled forward to
grab the girl, and
she shot up, backing away from him. He fell onto the
edge of the bed. He struggled to stand, his legs growing
weak. "What did
you-"
"Hydrogen
cyanide. I think." The smile grew, cold and empty. "I
didn't really read
that much up on it, but the symptoms sounded really
good. Confusion...weakness...loss of consciousness...coma."
She stepped forward,
leaning down. "Does it hurt, Angel?" He reached up
and barely touched her dress when she pulled away. "DON'T touch
me!" She
yelled, kicking him in the stomach hard. He crumbled to the floor,
the pain evident on his face. "How does it FEEL, Angel?"
"I- you-"
He rasped, his fists clenching, and then loosening.
"You're...going- going-" She leaned down, cupping a hand
to her ear.
"You're going to pay." He whispered.
Cordelia rolled her
eyes. "That's what they all say..." She grabbed
his shirt, jerking
him onto the bed. He fell limply, his eyes the only
part of his body moving at that moment. She climbed onto the
bed, straddling his
hips. She pouted playfully at the hate-filled glare
she received. "What's wrong, Angel? Angry? Depressed?
Confused?" She
stroked his face gently. "You fuck with me..." She lowered
her face down to Angel's, her hips slowly gyrating against
his. "I fuck
with you." She hissed, kissing him hard. She pulled away
roughly, her nail
digging into his cheek.
Angel's mouth
opened. A low rattling was heard in the silent
room. "Cor..."
He rasped.
She climbed off his
lap, straightening out her dress. "The effects
should wear out
soon. I think. Something about blood coursing...as soon
as the blood finishes..." She laughed. "I have NO idea...good
luck." She
walked to the door, opening it. His eyes remained on her, his
body stiff with pain. "Maybe you'll think twice before you stalk
me and fuck me and
trick me and-" She smirked. "Just think twice."
Her hand drifted to
the light switch and she turned it off before walking
out. Angel was left in the dark.
Cordelia walked down
the stairs to the office, giving the group a big
grin as she walked
in. "Angel's not feeling well..." She announced.
"Said something about bad blood from the market. He told
me to tell you all
to go home for tonight."
Wesley frowned.
"What? Is he alright?"
The Seer nodded.
"Sure. He just looked...paler than usual." She
grinned. "I'll
give you and Gunn a ride."
Fred stood.
"I'll go check on Angel-"
"NO." The
girl froze. "Let him be. He didn't want to be disturbed."
She nodded slowly.
Gunn sighed,
standing. "Okay, then. Let's go, Barbie."
Cordelia grabbed
Angel's car keys off the desk. "I'll be back later,
Fred, okay?"
She followed Wesley and Gunn out the door. "Good night,
ANGEL!" She
yelled before slamming the door shut.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 12
Cordelia walked into
the Hyperion, looking around. The vicinity was
completely silent.
She dropped her purse onto the counter. It slid off
the edge and hit the floor, the metal chains clanging against the
wood. She climbed up
the stairs, trying to look through the dark.
"Angel..."
She sang, peering down the hallway. "Are you alive?" She
opened the door of
his bedroom slowly, her hand disappearing into the darkness.
She spotted a ray of light from the window and walked
towards it. Her hand
moved to close the curtain.
"Back so
soon?"
She gasped and spun
around, her eyes immediately stopping on Angel's
chest. His shirt was
open and his body was covered in sweat. His eyes were
glassy and sunken in. "I- ah-" She replaced her surprised look
with a cool one.
"Healthy so soon?" He shook slightly, and she smirked.
"Guess not."
The vampire ran a
wobbly hand through his hair. "I- I can't believe
you did
that..." He whispered. "It was so long...it hurt."
"Well, maybe
next time you'll think before you-"
"I'm
sorry."
Cordelia gawked at
Angel, backing up a step. "What?"
He cleared his
throat painfully. "I'm sorry..." She continued to
stare at him. "Cordy...what
I did was wrong and uncalled for. I should've
never let it go as far as it did."
"What are you
trying to pull?"
"N-Nothing...I
just- I love you so much. I do. I wanted you to know-
but I didn't know
how...I'm so sorry, Cordelia. I pulled you into something
that was my fault. I couldn't control my own demon, so I
forced you in."
He shook again. "God- I messed you up...I fucked up."
Her face hardened at
his words, then slowly softened. "No...yes. I-
God..." She
whispered.
He moved towards
her, gathering her in an embrace. "I love you so
much." He said
quietly. "And- and I know we're both kind of messed up
now- but we can fix
it. We can." She opened her mouth to reply, and
he kissed her
softly. "I'm sorry..." His lips brushed against hers slightly.
"I love you."
After several
moments of silence, they both moved in for another
kiss. Angel moved
forward, and Cordelia backwards. The back of her legs
hit the edge of the bed, and she fell back. His kisses remained
gentle as he removed
her clothing, his mouth moving down to every piece
of skin that was exposed. She peeled his shirt off, then his
pants.
An anxious arousal
filled both of them, and he entered her quickly,
but slowly. She
inhaled steadily, her hips rising to meet his. His lips
pressed against hers, his hand reaching for hers and bringing it
over her head in a
tender but firm hold. His hips moved increasingly, going
as deep as he could. Her gasps filled the quiet room as her
back arched and her
head was thrown back as pleasure coursed through her
body. His mouth moved down her neck, sucking and caressing her
skin between his
lips.
Low moans and cries
replaced their heavy breathing, their hips thrusting
faster. The Seer's restrained hand clenched into a fist
while the other
clutched Angel's back tightly. He slid his body up, driving
himself into her deeper as his mouth found hers again. Their
bodies moved in
unison as waves of pleasure flowed through them.
The vampire started
to move faster, his other hand pulling Cordelia's
leg over his waist.
Her leg immediately tightened on his hip, her hips
meeting his thrust for thrust. He groaned as his body tensed up,
pushing her into the
bed further. She started to cry out, her nails digging
into his back. Her body rose and fell with each push, his
hand sliding under
her for support. He drove into her uncontrollably as
his orgasm hit, his face buried in her neck. He kept moving until
he felt her clench
tightly around him and release. He collapsed on top
of her, silent. Her hard breathing echoed in his ears.
Angel lifted his
head, needless breaths coming out in slight pants.
Cordelia wiped a bit
of sweat off his brow, and he leaned into her touch.
Their lips met once more, until he broke the kiss again.
She grinned faintly.
"What?" He started at her for a moment, his eyes
blank. Finally, he
swallowed hard, his face taking on the same intense
expression he had just minutes before.
"Let me draw
you."
* * *
Cordelia lay on her
side on the white sheets of Angel's bed. One leg
was crossed over the
other, her body completely nude. She felt
comfortable; the
only eyes on her were Angel's, intent on the drawing
pad on his knee,
which rested over the arm of his chair. She smiled slightly,
draping her arm over her exposed breasts.
Angel smiled back,
waving his hand at her. "DON'T smile. It ruins the
mood."
She sighed, removing
the smile from her face. "Are you almost done?"
"Yes."
The girl rolled over
onto her back, staring at the ceiling. Her
fingers traced
invisible pictures on her stomach. She giggled. "You always
get that look when you're drawing."
"What
look."
"Like you're
thinking really, really hard."
"I am."
She waited for him
to clarify. He didn't. "What about?"
"About a lot of
things." Angel's hand moved over the paper, smudging
a charcoal line with
his fingers. It produced a swishing noise
through the silent
room. "About you. Me. How I wanted to make you
happy." She
turned her head slowly to look at him. "All I wanted to do
was draw you. Then touch you. Then kiss you...it went too fast. I
should've never
touched you. If I hadn't, you never would've done what
you did." The charcoal scraped on the paper as he continued.
A look of confusion
came over Cordelia's face. "What I did? What did
I do?" She
paused. "Besides the poisoning. I apologized for that, by
the way."
He nodded. "I
could care less about the poisoning. Darla did that to
me once. She was a
creative one, let me tell you..." Swish. Scrape.
"What are you
talking about?"
His face remained
intense and his eyes stayed on the paper. "You
thought you were so
slick, didn't you? Didn't think I would see you looking
through Wes' books and notes about me back in the day." Her
eyes widened
slightly. "You thought I wouldn't see you copying stuff into
that little blue notebook of yours and taking some files. I
did..." Swish.
"I would go in- maybe ten minutes after you'd left- just
to see what you had taken. All stuff on Angelus. I was surprised-
trust me. Why would
you of all people want info on my demon? But you were
probably just curious, right?" He didn't wait for her to
answer. "So I
let it slide. But I still watched you. You kept going back...taking
notes...just like the good secretary you are. It slowly
dawned on me-"
She opened her mouth to speak. "Let me finish." His
voice was icy and
quiet. She slowly closed her mouth. Swish. "It slowly
dawned on me that you were taking all these notes for a
reason. You were
going to test me-"
"Angel. I never
want-"
"Shut your
goddamn mouth before I shut it permanently." He
interrupted, his
voice sharp yet calm. His eyes still kept on the paper.
Cordelia's mouth closed, shock etched on her face. "I noticed
something. When you
came into my room that one night. You stayed at the
hotel that night, and I had no clue why. You came in and drew me
into that
conversation. I remember your face so, so well...you could act
when you really wanted to." A smirk appeared. "This wasn't one of
those times. So I
played along, then decided to try to touch you again.
No underwear." A short laugh now. "You always wore underwear,
Cordy. I could tell.
All of a sudden, you stopped? Maybe because you knew
Darla didn't wear any? Wanted to hit a spot, Cordy?" She
continued to stare
at him. "Thought it would bring something out? Angelus,
maybe?" His face returned to a blank expression. "I got a
bit angry. I wanted
you to want me for me. Not for him. But fuck it, right?
I gave you what you wanted."
"A-Ang-"
His warning glare cut her off.
"We kept going.
Actually, YOU kept going. I played along. You did
Darla's shit. Some
of Dru's." Swish. "Anything you thought would get something
out of me. It did get something out of me, Cordelia. I let
loose...just for
you." Scrape. "Hurt you. Played with your head. Anything
that would make you happy." Darkness clouded his eyes. "Then
you gave me your
blood. Your fucking blood. I couldn't take it
anymore. How dare-
Fuck you."
Cordelia sat up,
grabbing her shirt and putting it on. "Whoa- Angel.
No. You have it so
wrong."
"Are you
denying it?"
Her silence
confirmed his suspicions. She snatched her underwear,
sliding it on.
"A-Angel...I didn't mean anything. I just wanted to see-
he can go away now." She pleaded.
Angel smiled slowly,
continuing his drawing. "He was never here."
"What?"
"You wanted me.
Angelus. The danger...it always aroused you, didn't
it? The danger? Ever
since you were a teenager. I remember- I could smell
it. Drove me fucking crazy."
Her eyes watched
him, strangely composed in his seat. "God. Angel.
Please...stop
it."
"Stop what? I
GAVE you what you wanted, you selfish bitch."
Swish. "Are you
going to fucking back down now? I DELIVERED. You better
fucking deliver now."
"WHAT? Angel-
stop it right now!" She glided to the edge of the bed,
not bothering to
hide the shock. "Talk to me- the game is over! Stop it!"
Scrape. "When I
lose control totally, I will blame you. You will be
blamed for lives
lost and for the loss of my soul. You would've ended my
redemption, you fucking selfish whore." He glanced at her for a
mere second, and he
saw the hurt and confusion in her eyes. "So fucking
stupid..."
Silence.
Angel sighed,
shaking his head. His leg swung off the arm and hit the
floor. He threw the
charcoal aside. "I'm finished. Do you want to see?"
Cordelia sat in front of him now, shaking. She numbly nodded.
He turned the pad
around for her to see.
It was definitely
Cordelia. Slightly longer hair framed her thin
face. A deeply
serene look was on her face, her crazed eyes out of place.
She was crouched down in a fetal position. A straight jacket
contained her arms
while bruises and cuts marked her legs. Dark, angry
eyes surrounded Cordelia's restrained body. Above the drawing
was a single word in
bold letters: BITCH.
Angel's eyes lit up
and his grin grew wider when he saw her horrified
expression. "Do
you like it?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part
13
Cordelia jumped to
her feet and dashed for the door. Angel beat her
to it, blocking her
exit. "Where are you going, Cordelia?" He asked,
gripping the drawing
pad tightly.
She tried to move
past him. "Let me go, Angel..."
"I'm not
touching you, Cordelia. Go." He didn't move. Neither did
she. He chuckled
quietly. "Go!"
"Move."
She whispered, her chin trembling.
His eyes widened
playfully, and he held his hands up. "Whoa- you're
gonna cry now?"
He threw the drawing pad to the side, moving forward.
"After all the shit you put ME through, you're gonna cry,
Cordy?" She
backed up as he advanced. "Now you're running away from me?
You couldn' t wait to see Angelus before..." He smirked. "Angelus
ain't here,
baby..."
The Seer's back hit
the dresser, and she seemed to be trying to merge
herself within the
wood. "A-Angel- I know. I know you're not Angelus.
Why are you doing
this? We- you're making me- I'm scared! Stop! Look at
me!"
He laughed.
"You look fucking crazy, that's what you look like." He
roughly grabbed her
chin, forcing her face up. "Your eyes...there's not
much there, honey." His hand traveled up her cheek and into her
hair, grabbing a
handful of locks. He threw her into the bathroom door,
which flew open at the force.
Cordelia struggled
to stand. Angel grabbed her arm and dragged her to
the tub. Before she
knew what was happening, she was shoved into the ice-cold
water. The clear liquid spilled over the edge and onto the
ceramic tiles on the
floor. She screamed and tried to climb out but was
interrupted by the vampire's hand dunking her head under the
freezing water.
Angel held her head
down, watching her thrash and struggle furiously.
"I tried to stop you before it was too late, Cordy. But
you wouldn't listen.
I HAD to stalk you. I HAD to kill your fucking plants.
I HAD to destroy your apartment- don't you get that?! You
DIDN'T! You thought
it was a GAME!" He kept her underneath until he felt
her weaken. "I wish we hadn't gone this far, Cordelia..." It was
only then he let her
go. Her head immediately rose above the water, and
she gasped for air, coughing violently.
"Stick
around...stay a while..." He muttered, wiping his hands on a
white towel on the
black rack near the sink. He walked out of the bathroom,
slamming the door behind him. "It's going to get even
better..." He
moved to the bed, grabbing Cordelia's pants and shoving them
under his bed. He sauntered out of his room and stopped in the
hallway, looking
around. The vampire froze, hearing the slight drips of
water hitting the wood floor. He fought back a smile and took his
time turning around.
Cordelia stood in front of him, absolutely soaked
and shaking. Her wild eyes were fixed on him. "Yes?"
Her hands clenched
and unclenched. "I. Hate. YOU!" She rushed at him.
Her body slammed
into his, and they both stumbled back.
Angel hit the floor
hard, the girl on top of him. They slid a few
feet before stopping
by the stairs. Her fists crashed against his face
and chest, and his hands flew up to block her strikes. He rolled
over on top of her,
straddling her waist. "Stop it! STOP IT!" He yelled,
trying to force her hands down. She got a good punch in, and
he immediately
slapped her hard across the face. The Seer froze in shock,
and then lifted her leg, her knee crashing with his groin. He
groaned in pain and
fell off her. She wasted no time in climbing to her
feet, and he did the same.
The two glared at
each other, almost eye to eye. Cordelia breathed
hard, her frenzied
eyes on the vampire. "I'm going to fucking kill you."
Angel met her stare.
"Try it."
Cordelia lunged at
Angel, and they flew down the stairs hard. After
crashing into the
last step, they rolled into the lobby. She punched him
hard across the face and he hit the floor. She got up from the
ground and took off
towards the front door.
He crawled after
her, grabbing her leg and jerking it towards him.
Her body slammed
into the ground brutally. He dragged her back within his
space regardless of her kicking. His hands reached down and
grabbed her head,
slamming it into the floor. She cried out in pain, still
fighting back.
He let go of her
head and backed away, laughing. "I didn't know you
had it in you, Cordy!"
He exclaimed. "But then again...you're fucking
crazy."
She stood slowly,
blood dripping from her mouth. "I am NOT crazy!"
She screamed, her
chest heaving. He continued to laugh. She stepped forward,
and he stepped back.
Angel suddenly
stopped laughing, his face becoming deadly serious.
"Let me help you." He hurried forward, taking hold of
Cordelia and
throwing her into the couch. He followed her, grabbing her
arm. "Come on, Cor-"
Her fist swinging
and connecting with his jaw cut him off. He crashed
into the couch, and
Cordelia climbed on top of him. She grabbed his hair
tightly and jerked his head up. The two glared at each other
angrily.
Then, without
warning, Cordelia kissed Angel hard. He froze for a
moment before
kissing her back, his hand winding into her mane. Her hips
started to stir against his, and his hand moved to the small of
her back, moving her
hips rougher. He could taste her blood on his tongue
as it explored her mouth, and his mouth attacked hers more
forcefully.
Suddenly, Cordelia
raked her nails down Angel's cheek. He threw her
off his lap,
clutching his face. He removed his hand, and trails of blood
glistened on his palm. His eyes watched her as she climbed off
the floor, wiping
the blood from her mouth. She smiled leisurely. Coldly.
Angel stood, his
eyes remaining on the Seer. He smirked slowly. "You
crazy bitch."
She scowled, lunging
at him again. This time, Angel was ready and
stepped out of the
way, throwing her into the wall. She crumbled to the
floor and crept to the corner. She heard his footsteps coming
closer.
"I knew you
couldn't handle it..." He whispered, his voice shaking
slightly. "You
played with me. You fucked me. So I dealt with you. Deal
with it." She whimpered slightly, shaking her head. "You're
angry, you're
sad...you're scared, you're fucking me...make up your mind."
He paused dramatically, as if he was thinking hard. He
confirmed this
action by tapping his chin lightly. "You know, bipolar disorder
can be treated rather quickly in this day and age,
Cordelia..."
She looked up into his eyes and gasped. His demon was showing.
She shook and began to scream. He changed back to his human
face and laughed
loudly. "What's wrong? It's just me...calm down..."
His face turned into
his demon again. She wasn't sure if it was in her
mind or just him. Her whimpering increased, and his face changed
back. He stared at
her, suddenly concerned. "Cordelia?"
Cordelia continued
to shake, her eyes getting wider. "Angel..." She
said in a hushed
tone. "Please...help me."
"I will, Cordy."
He kneeled down in front of her, stroking her face.
She slowly relaxed
into his touch. "I promise..."
"Angel..."
Her crying got louder and more frantic.
"Cordy..."
"Angel...please-
Angel...please..."
"Ssh. It's
going to be okay."
"Angel...Angel...please...please...God-
please..."
* * *
"She's been
like this for three weeks now."
Wesley, Gunn, and
Fred stared intently through the glass window into
the white room.
Cordelia screamed loudly, fighting against the leather
restraints strapping her to the bed. Her black roots showed
through her streaked
hair, while her face was marked with tears and sweat.
Wesley turned to the
psychiatrist, his face grave. "Will she be
getting better any
time soon, Doctor-" He glanced at the nametag clipped
to his jacket pocket. "Singh."
The psychiatrist
sighed, flipping through his papers. "Miss Chase has
been monitored
incessantly throughout her stay here. Her behavior is erratic
and quite unusual. She has fought several of the nurses and
sent my assistant to
the hospital with a broken nose. Her paranoia and
depression is probably the most extreme I have seen in my ten
years with the
institution. She is only calm when it is just she and myself
in the room- and when she is heavily medicated. She claims
your..." He
glanced at his pad. "Your friend- Angel- she claims he tortured
her consistently over a ten month period." Fred shook her
head and buried her
face in Gunn's arm. He rubbed her back
soothingly.
The Watcher shook
his head. "That's impossible. Angel would never
harm Cordelia."
"Yes. I've
discussed this with Mister...Mister-"
"Doe."
Gunn replied quickly. "Angel Doe." Wesley gave him a slightly
annoyed look.
"Yes. Mr. Doe
and I have talk over several sessions, including the
day you brought her
in. I would have questioned him over the nature of
his relationship with Miss Chase, but the scratches and welts on
his face and neck
confirmed his statement of the attack she placed on him.
We deemed her dangerously violent...which led to her
confinement."
"I-I
know." Wesley muttered. "I was the first to arrive...Angel was
clearly stressed and
disturbed. Cordelia...she was unconscious." He suddenly
frowned. "What do you mean the nature of his relationship
with Cordelia?"
He sighed once more.
"Miss Chase claims to have had a violently
sexual relationship
with Mister Doe for the last ten months. Whenever I
press her further, she starts to cry and become withdrawn. It took
me fourteen sessions
to understand that she thinks he stalked and tried
to kill her on several occasions."
Fred lifted her
head, wiping her eyes wearily. "B-But...Angel would
never- why would she
think that?"
"She is
convinced that Mister Doe has an alter ego named..." He
looked at his
papers. "Angelus. She insists that this is his other personality.
His evil side, if you will." Gunn and Wesley glanced at
each other. Singh
stared at them, then continued. "She thinks he tried
to do multiple acts of torture and harm to her and is extremely
fearful when he is
in her vicinity, yet she calls for him when he is not
around. Begging him to help her. Mr. Doe seems understandably
confused over this.
He's just worried about her health."
"As we all
are." Wesley murmured, returning his gaze to Cordelia,
still hysterical.
"We're all worried."
Angel crossed his
arms in his seat near the corner of the white room,
watching Cordelia.
She was almost seven feet away from
him. "Cordelia."
Her eyes searched the room wildly, trying to find
him. He stood and
moved to the bed. She gasped and tried to move away from
him. "It's okay, baby..." He stroked her face gently. "I should
thank you,
really..." Suddenly, the concerned look on his face changed
into a highly amused one. "You helped me become a better
person...more
determined- I told you I would get you..." Her eyes widened,
and she whimpered. "Should've listened to me." He kissed his
fingers before
placing them on her forehead. "See you in a week." He walked
out of the room, leaving Cordelia's screeching form behind.
The vampire walked
out of the blindingly white room, his face taking
on a grave
expression. He sighed wearily. Wesley approached him, concerned.
"Well?"
"Still the
same."
Gunn shook his head.
"I guess we should go then. Visiting hours is
over anyway."
Angel nodded slowly,
sorrow filling his eyes. "I just wished I
could've helped her
in time..."
* * *
Angel Investigations
walked into the quiet hotel. Wesley turned on
the lights one by
one, something Cordelia would've done. Gunn picked up
the mail, dumping it onto the counter. Something Cordelia would've
done. Angel checked
the answering machine. Something Cordelia would've
done. And Fred stood helpless, sadness on her face.
Gunn sighed,
suddenly tired. "I- I should go to Cordy's apartment and
see how Dennis is
holding up. Maybe take some stuff to bring to her next
week."
Wesley nodded.
"I'll help you, Gunn." He turned towards Angel. "Will
you two be okay
here?" Angel nodded. "Alright." They walked out.
The girl sighed
loudly. The vampire frowned. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head,
sinking onto the couch. "I'm just so- I feel so
bad for Cordy."
He slowly walked
over and took the seat across from her. "She's going
to be okay,
Fred." He watched her fumbling with her skirt. His mind began
to work. "You look really pretty today, Fred."
"Don't lie,
Angel." She smoothed down her hair. "I look awful." Yet
she smiled.
"I wouldn't say
it if I didn't mean it." He slowly grinned, reclining
in his chair. This
was going to be fun. "Hey, Fred." She looked up at him.
"Let me draw you."
FIN
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