I Know You by Princess Twilite
Summary: "I know you, Cordy." His words haunted her as she unlocked the door… "My name is Cordelia…. And you haven't got a clue."
Spoilers: Early Season Four.
Notes: Ophelia, pay back's a bitch ain't it? See, we told each other we'd each write a fic. She wanted smut [though she'd never admit it] and I needed to laugh [so she wrote me a comedy]. So here be what ye asked for lady, let's see if ye can take it. I tried to resist the spoilers and failed. This story is based on the rumor that Cordelia will return with Amnesia… the rest is pure imagination.
words you say… are not familiar to me."
* * *
"I know you, Cordy." His words haunted her as she unlocked her door and forced her somewhat resistant body through the threshold.
"My name is Cordelia." She had responded, twisting the metaphorical knife into his heart. His eyes filled up, then fell dull, flat. "And you haven't got a clue."
She shook it away, closing the door behind her with a thud. Sometimes she had these flashes, of another place, another home: a lamp floating mid air, lighting her way as she rummaged through the closet; The blankets being dragged up over her sick, tired body by gentle unseen hands…
But those were just mirages and she told herself none of that had ever happened. It couldn't have. She was Cordelia fucking Chase, and she was meant for something more than this… this was just a horrible nightmare, it would all go away.
If she could only wake up.
Her heels landed against the wall with a sharp click and fell into the shadows as she kicked them off. This apartment was her to the T. Rich, extravagant, beautiful… and she couldn't remember how she got the money to pay for it.
Eye's heavy with frustration, she flicked the switch to the living room light and cast the room in a gentle, yellow glow.
Rich lights, rich everything.
Her gray silk over coat was the next thing to go, leaving her in a light gray dress that fell to the knees. There were no hands pulling the coat from her shoulders and effort seemed harder, tugging it off herself and hanging it up in the hall closet where the shadows remained. There was always something in shadows, something she couldn't see.
Shrugging, she padded barefoot into the kitchen. Hungry. Of course she hadn't eaten a thing on her date with the director, that was unfashionable and he might have frowned at it. Movie stars didn't eat, not in public, that was a big no no.
Opening the fridge door, she stared inside with a faint look of disgust on her face. Yogurt and vegetables. Didn't here life rock? Grumbling about miracle diets, she grabbed a piece of celery out and went searching her cabinets of peanut butter. There was no way she was eating that excuse for food without a little taste.
She'd always hated celery… her hand paused in the act of twisting off the cap of the peanut butter… hadn't she?
Cordelia shivered, goose bumps rising on her skin in a wave, from the small of her back to the nape of her neck. She stared down into the untouched peanut butter. Did she even LIKE peanut butter?
She couldn't remember three years of her life. Who's to say she hadn't forgotten anything else? Of course, this wasn't anything new to her, she'd considered it before. But every time something new caught her eye… she wondered if it was new at all.
All the while Shaun, her date, went on and on about himself… she'd eyed the open collar of his shirt, where a silver cross rested, swinging back and forth as he talked and talked… and talked. Occasionally, it would get caught in his graying chest hair and she would blink. He was still talking, not even really looking at her… more through her than anything else.
Sighing, Cordelia dipped the celery into the peanut butter. There wasn't anything she could do about it now. Her memory was gone. She was not who Fred, that weird girl with a Texan accent, Gunn, the guy who looked like he belonged more on the street than in a mansion, or Angel… well… she wasn't who any of them wanted her to be.
She wasn't a warrior's damn seer. She didn't want to be anybody's ANYTHING. She wanted to be on posters that were sold at Wal-Mart and in the top magazines for everyone to drool over.
But still, his words from those few days ago haunted her.
"I know you."
They'd been arguing again. It was all they'd done since she'd woken up from a black, black sleep and found three face's hovering over her. One familiar. Two not. She had sat up slowly, head aching and hollow. All three had gasped, moving back a step, away from her.
"Uh… hi." she'd said, giving a hesitant smile and staring at her surroundings. She lay on a big bed, in a room that had an off shot nursery. What were Angel, two complete strangers and she doing in a room with a VERY big bed?
* * *
*Okay, this wasn't some kinky thing right?*
Cordelia frowned at them when they didn't respond. "So…" she said, turning toward Angel. "Long time no see, huh? Been busy turning evil and killing things or was that just a phase you grew out of?"
Angel flinched, literally flinched.
"Cordy?" His voice, like he expected something more from her.
"What am I doing here?" She demanded, scooted out of the bed, standing. The world spun, flipped flopped and went crazy. She found the world falling out from beneath her, and she thought: Damn, this fall is gonna HURT… but arms caught her, wrapped around her and she never landed anywhere but for a solid lap.
"Cordy…" A cold nose buried in the crook of her neck. She shivered.
"Uh… Angel.. are you…"
"You're back." He whispered, holding her tighter against him, until she was bent in an uncomfortable position against him. Knees locked together, head stuffed against his chest, arms forced up between them. "Oh god, you're finally back…"
"Okay," she muttered against his chest where it shuddered. "This is weirder than usual. Did I make a stupid wish or something?"
"What are you talking about?" Angel lifted her by her underarms until she was staring down at his face. She noticed a single tear, dripping down and into his mouth. "God, say something more than that. You're not making any sense. Where have you been? What did they make you do?"
"Where have I been?" She shrieked it, feet dangling off the floor as he stood with her, never letting go. "What are you talking about you crazy, stupid…"
His eyes widened.
"Guys, I think there's something wrong with her." And suddenly there was three faces again, right next to Angel's. The black dude over his left shoulder and the nerdy girl over his right.
"You think she's sick?" Nerd-Girl asked.
"Is she hurt?" Black-dude frowned. "She don't look like she's bleeding."
"Uh, guys? Right there, in front of you and I can speak." She pressed her nails into Angel's firm shoulders but he didn't make any move to put her down. "And hey, psycho - you can put me down now. I'm getting vertigo."
He frowned up at her.
"Something's wrong with you." He muttered it. "Your eyes…"
"Fuck you buddy, nothing is WRONG with me. I'm a 110 % beauty and I've been told my eyes rival moon beams. So, put me down!"
Angel didn't. "You're holding me too close."
"No. I'm not. I'm not holding you close enough." His gaze locked onto her lips and her breath backed up inside her like a traffic jam.
"What are you," she didn't get a chance to finish her outraged question before he drew her body down against his, breasts against solid, unmovable chest and proceeded to kiss the living brain cells right out of her head. She squealed, one of those embarrassing, pig- like squeals and his tongue slid fully into her mouth.
* Why yes sir, that would be my stomach melting that you feel… *
She was kissing Angel. Buffy's Angel. Or really, Buffy's Angel was kissing her. There was something wrong with this picture.
"Oooo-kay." She breathed out when he finally released her mouth, staring up at her with dark, dazed eyes. "Crazy boy, I don't know WHY you just did that, but PUT ME DOWN!" She kicked out with her heels and met his shin.
"Yow!" He released her like she'd burned him and hopped around on one foot, holding his shin. "I told you to stop doing that!"
"What?" Cordy gasped when he started to come near her again and darted across the room, behind the black dude. "I've never kicked you before! STAY AWAY! Keep that freak AWAY from me!" She begged the brawny man who was trying to get her off his back. "Who the hell are you people and WHY the hell am I here?"
The room went deathly silent, and the muscles of the black guy's back went to steel.
"She doesn't remember…" Nerd girl whispered, tears in her eyes.
"Fred," the man she was holding onto said, taking a step forward. But "Fred" shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment.
"She doesn't know us Gunn."
"She remembers me." Angel put in, eyes never leaving Cordelia. She felt herself go red under his stare. That wasn't the type of look she was used to from him. And he had just… KISSED HER! "She said my name."
Fred got a contemplative look on her face and started toward Cordelia. They played "around the Gunn" for a moment before he finally got fed up and disentangled himself from her hold.
Cordelia tried to play it cool. Resting her hands on her hips and tossing her short hair back. And wait a second, short hair? When the hell had she gotten her hair cut? Oooh, someone was gonna pay.
"Could someone tell him to stop looking at me like that?" She looked pointedly in Angel's direction where he just stood with his dark somber eyes flaming. Cordelia glanced plaintively at Fred. "Please? Cause it's giving me the serious wiggins. And if you don't want me to sue for sexual harassment, you might want to make him stop about.. I don't know.. right now?"
"Or maybe not," Fred murmured, reaching out to touch Cordelia's face.
"Woah boy, not with the lesbian vibes here." She smiled shakily. "I'm all go-gay-pride, but that's more of an open minded, not against it, but not gonna do it myself, way."
"She said my name." Angel insisted, arms crossed.
"Well now," Cordelia snapped. "Aren't you just master of the obvious? And why wouldn't I know your name? You only tried to massacre my entire graduating class and eat us for dinner!"
His lips turned down and a slow growl escaped him. Cordelia paled, backing up. "I'm gonna… go. Okay? Nice meeting you. Gunshot, or whatever. Fred. Bye!" Before she could escape through the open doorway, Angel had it slammed, whipping her hair around her face as he passed her. His eyes glowed yellow as he looked up at her.
"I don't think so. You're not leaving. Not again."
"Okay, don't bite!" She raised her hands, palm up. "I'm unarmed here." She stepped forward slightly, buddy to buddy. "Is this all some practical joke or something? Because I know I was a bitch in high school - but this just isn't funny."
She stabbed her finger at him. "So stop it!"
He growled in reply.
"Stop it, Cordy. Stop acting like…"
"Like you used to!" Angel reached up a hand to caress her hair, but she flinched back and at her rejection, his fingers curled into a fist. He tapped it against his chin for a moment before reaching out and grabbing her by the back of her head, pulling her forward. "Why are you doing this?"
She stared up at him, terrified by the look in his eyes.
"Calm down, Angel." Fred came forward, pushed between them both but Angel's eyes gleamed at her over Fred's hair. "I think I know what's going on." And for the first time since she had woken up, Angel looked away from her. Cordelia gave a deep breath of relief.
"What? Why is she looking at me like I'm…"
"It's a thing called selective amnesia." Fred explained as Cordelia moved away from them, but kept listening. "She remembers a certain amount of her life and forgets the rest."
Cordelia looked toward Gunn, but he stood like a statue, face blank. "From the way she's spoken of you, and of her friends… she doesn't remember meeting you in L.A. I'd say she remembers up until she graduated."
Angel looked like he had taken a blow. He stumbled back against the door, face more open and shocked than she'd ever seen it.
"You mean… she doesn't remember any of it?" He leaned over, hands on his knees as though he couldn't get any air into his lungs. Which was silly, because he was a vampire… but it didn't look silly. "The past three years, their just gone to her?" He shook his head. "I won't believe it."
* Three years… *
Cordelia's knees went weak and she sat heavily on the bed again. The dizziness had returned. She didn't want to believe it either. One minute she was on her way to L.A… the next she's waking up in a bed surrounded by people she'd rather not be surrounded by. It didn't make sense.
Angel lunged around Fred and at her. Cordelia squealed again, but all he did was kneel in front of her, gripping her knees which were dressed in a very suave pair of gray suit pants.
"Tell me what's the last thing you remember."
"Well…" She tried to pry his fingers loose from her knees, but they were clamped and unmovable. "I was planning on going to L.A… I had a few contacts of the family. I'm going to be an actress."
Angel grimaced and moved his hands to crush hers between them.
"Tell me you remember, Cordy. Tell me you remember this." His thumbs caressed the center of her palm and his eyes bore into her own. Oh she felt something alright… but she remembered nothing. But she felt the need to do something, say something that might… make him stop looking like his soul was being ripped out. She'd never been good with words, so she only said that no, she didn't remember.
He looked down at their entwined hands, and slowly let hers go. Everything on his face shut down and she could no longer read him as he stood up and left the room.
A pang went off inside her, but she didn't tell him she was sorry for doing whatever she'd done to hurt him.
"What's his problem?" Cordelia asked the others. Fred sighed with regret and tore her gaze from Gunn's where they seemed to be communicating silently.
"Angel's just a little upset. He's got a lot of history with you. You guys were… friends." Cordelia let out a snort of laughter.
"You're kidding right?" Fred didn't look like she was joking around. In fact, she was giving her a disapproving frown that Mother Teresa could have worn. "C'mon! Angel and me… friends? First of all, Angel doesn't have FRIENDS. He has BUFFY. They're attached at the hip, soul mates, eternal love and all that B/A forever garbage. Secondly, he's a vampire and I doubt VERY much that I'd be hanging out with someone that got off on looking at my neck."
She laughed again. "So really, what's up with him?"
"So this is what she was like in high school?" Fred asked Gunn, but he just shrugged, strangely silent. "No wonder everyone thought she was a bitch."
* * *
Cordelia bit into her celery, scrunching her nose up at the bland taste.
Wondered if she had any peanut butter left.
Sighing, she glanced down at the stupid vegetable.
"Diet Schmiet. I don't need to lose weight." She turned, prepared to go into the bathroom and weigh herself when she saw a shadow moving toward her and screamed.
"Shh.. It's just me." Angel said, flicking on the kitchen light. He looked paler than usual, in a blue silk shirt and pleated dress pants. "Why were you in the dark?"
"I… didn't realize." She swallowed, gripping the edge of the counter. "What are you doing here?"
He smiled, looking around her kitchen.
"What, last time I was here, you wouldn't let me past the living room. I figure it's my duty to make sure you haven't gotten a bad deal here."
"Angel." She rolled her eyes at him. "I've been living here for about six months."
"So the lease says."
"Yes, so the lease says. And as it's my name on the mail box out there, it's quite clear that however I stumbled into your humble abode, I was living HERE first. What do you really want?"
He gave her a look that clearly said: Duh.
"How was your date?" Angel asked casually, picking up her car keys and jingling them in his palm. "You're home early." Angel tilted his head, took another glance around. "And alone."
"Ah," Cordelia chuckled without humor. "So the truth is revealed." A weary sigh. "Angel. Get out."
"Now that's not very friendly."
She skewered him with a telling glance.
"We are SO not friends. You're the idiot that has been showing up at my dates, my interviews… you CAN'T keep doing this Angel."
"What?" He shrugged innocently, coming a little closer. "Looking out for you?"
"Uh, hello, this is the new millennium. We have names for people like you today. S-T-A-L-K-E-R-S. Say it with me."
"Ouch." He laughed, rubbing a hand over his heart. "That actually hurt."
She almost smiled. Almost.
"Okay, bonding time is over." She said after a moment where they looked at each other. And she felt - something. "I've faced the fact that I've lost the last three years of my life. Now it's time for you…"
"Not lost." Angel argued, suddenly right before her, trailing a hand over the silk strap of her dress. It fell down her should and she caught it, laughing uncomfortably. He tilted his eyes up at her. "Just misplaced. They are right there." He gently tapped her temple, then brushed a finger down her blush stained cheek. "Waiting for you to remember them."
"I'm not going back to the Hyperion." She said firmly, standing her ground against his eyes. "We tried that, but I remembered nothing. I spent an entire week there, arguing with you, getting disgusted stares from Fred and having Gunn looking over my shoulder because I unintentionally hurt his woman. And hello? I have amnesia here. VICTIM. A little credit, please."
"Then maybe you should let me take you to your apartment." Angel murmured persuasively, like he might to a child. "You wouldn't even go there."
"You said there was a ghost!"
"But he's good…" He smiled. "I have a feeling he's in love with you. You have that effect on… other worldly things."
"Oh great, Casper the friendly ghost, looking up my skirt. How fun that would be!"
"His name is Dennis, and I'm sure you don't mind him seeing you naked." Another step closer. Cordelia moved nervously to the side, striding past him and into the living room. Flicking the television on and changing the channels by the VCR.
"Great," she said, voice shaking a little as he sidled up next to her. "Just how weird did I become? A half demon-half human-ghost pet owner with visions and no boyfriends. Or wait, I had one, but couldn't keep him, because obviously…" Cordelia made a show of looking around her. "He's not here."
"There are prospects," Angel murmured suggestively. She looked at him with one eyebrow in her hair line. "You know."
"Buffy. Would. Kick. My. Ass." She moved away from him when he frowned. "We've been through this. This is why I LEFT. I like my ass. I really, really like my ass. Me and my ass have an understanding. It stays in shape if I keep it from being abused. So these absurd notions that you have in your head about me and you… doing things that you should be doing with Buffy… are never, never going to happen. Got it pal?"
He sighed through his nose and rubbed an irritated hand over his forehead.
"Are you done yet?" She nodded. "Good, because you NEVER seem to shut up. And occasionally I've found it endearing, but the least you could do is take a breath and let me have MY say. Every now and then. Okay?" She opened her mouth to retort but he held up a single finger, wiggling it. "Ah. Ah. Ah. Didn't we just discuss this?"
She simmered in silent fury. "That's better. Now, let me do my impression of a broken record. Buffy and I? We've been finished for three years. Get. Over. It."
"Shhh." He pressed a finger to her lips. "I know, I know. Soul mates, right? Maybe. But fact is, you have a lot of soul mates in your life time. You have hundreds, thousands. People that are meant to be there, for the time they are there for. You look confused and I get that. But you don't remember at the moment, that for the past three years, I've been here. With you. Okay, maybe sometimes I was… other places, doing other things.. people, but forget that. You didn't hear that."
"I heard it." She said, pushing his hand from his mouth.
"No. You didn't."
"You did non-Buffy people?" Cordelia gasped, eyes wide. "You pig! You're a slut! The love of your life, waiting for you back in Sunnydale, and you're out scrogging the mailman.. or girl, whatever!"
"Did we not just go over this?"
She slapped out a hand to his chest when he stepped forward, but it was like trying to stop a bus from crashing into you. A big bus. A big bus, going really, really fast. His lips landed on hers and she flushed from head to toe immediately.
This was so wrong she couldn't even think up a cool word to say how wrong it was. But at the same time, it felt… good. Familiar. Tasty…
She opened her mouth to his assault; breathed into him. He gave this delicious little shudder that made her smile as they kissed.
He tasted nice and good and cold and Jesus! What the HELL was she doing? Vampire. Happy Vampire. BAD VAMPIRE!
"Woah there!" She broke her mouth away from his and was fascinated for a single second by his wet lips before she pulled her self out of the trance. "How'd we go from arguing about kissing, to kissing and… gropage! Watch the hand!" He grinned at her, stealing another stroke of her breast before she jerked away.
"What? From what I remember, you liked my hands on you."
Cordeila's mouth dropped open in a cartoony fashion.
"You're lying!" She accused, thrusting a deadly sharp nail at him. "We never did anything. I wouldn't have done ANYTHING with you." Angel the tip of his lip at her.
"Look what you just did. Cordy, you MELT when I get a foot away. I don't even have to put my hands on you to have you wet."
"Uh Angel, I appreciate you being all… helpful and trying to… remind me of my past, but this is going a little far, don't you think? Hey! Hey…"
Angel's hands were doing pleasant little things to her shoulders, where the weight of forgetting three years, of seeing unfamiliar faces wherever you turned, rested. She let herself lean into him, nose an inch away from his shoulder as he bent her neck forward and massaged the muscles there.
God, he smelled so good. Not like anything else really, not of cologne… just him.
"How did we meet?" She asked hesitantly. "How did you become so much to me that I gave up being human for you?"
Angel paused for a moment, then placed a gentle kiss to the side of her neck.
"We met again at a party. It was accidental, and at first I rued that day… but then, god, I don't know what I'd do if I'd never seen you again. I'd have been…"
"Insane?" She breathed, curious. This was like watching a movie that she'd never seen before, seeing the reaction in his eyes to the things she said. All these memories he had of her, that she didn't have of him… or even herself. Cordelia wanted to take them from him… but at the same time, a part of her was SO not ready to deal with the responsibility that came with it.
She wanted… what she always wanted.
To be rich. Famous… Loved.
"Yes." He admitted, bending to kiss the soft spot where neck met shoulder. And she let him, enthralled. "Lost. Alone. Knowing there was something out there for me, if I could just find it. Someone." Words whispered into her ear. "I need you." He lips trailed along her cheek, rested at the edge of her lips like a cold, wintry promise.
She didn't even hear him.
Lost, falling somehow, like shattered glass, she grasped the back of his neck and slammed her mouth brutally up to his. He choked a little, in the back of his throat, from surprise. And then gladly returned the kiss, digging his fingers through hair that she had let grow out, thrusting his tongue roughly against hers. Moving it along her teeth, tasting and eating her mouth like the beast he was.
Cordelia felt herself falling, tripping over her own feet as they moved and she was on her back, pressed down into the cushions by his heavy frame crawling on top of her.
"Yes…" It came out as a sigh when he released her mouth and licked at her neck, dragging his tongue down and dipping it between her cleavage.
"Remember this?" He asked seductively, dragging the dress down and off of her. "Remember what we did together?"
Her eyes caught his where he watched her from her stomach.
A scar lay next to his chin. Right next to her belly button. She could remember that.
"Angel… I don't think we should…" The rest of her words were lost as he lunged up her body, catching her mouth with his. It was like being lost beneath a tide, dragged out as he had his way with her and she couldn't say a word, caught up in the need that surged inside her.
So familiar, this cool kiss.
Cordelia broke free to breath, and kissed his chin, his jaw. He growled gently and moved against her. She smiled, loving the power that heated her stomach where her rode against it, hard and ready.
Yes ladies and gentleman, Cordelia Chase made Angel… whatever, hard. Where's the parade?
She nibbled on his ear and felt him suck in the air near her hair, gasping as she went lower, sucked the skin of his neck between her front teeth and bit. His entire frame went taut and something knowing inside her, something she hadn't had before… realized her mistake. His hips jerked hard into her belly and she felt like she'd been stabbed by the force of it, gasping beneath him.
He was breathing roughly at her ear, hands moving to her hips and jerking her dress up, sliding her body up the couch until her head hit the edge and their hips were aligned. Cordelia whimpered when he thrust again, harder than before, moaning into her neck.
"Yeah, Cordy… like that." He muttered, hands trembling as they delved into the tiny straps of her underwear, snapping them easily, like they were made of tissue paper. But… she wasn't doing anything, so how could she be doing it right? "It's been so long since I've touched you."
She didn't remember him touching her at all. This wasn't right.
His nose hurt her where it was shoved into her scalp, scenting her like it was just the smell driving him on. She felt taken, consumed, swallowed up and he was just humping her like he was a teenager… but he wasn't being quiet or careful not to wake her parents as he grumbled into her hair, hands between them, struggling with the button and zipper of his pants.
He whimpered in delight when he got his pants down his hips and his swollen erection was free, brushing her thighs. Brushing the lips of her vagina…
Wait a second, this was a little fast, this was… dangerous.
"Angel!" He was moving against her, rubbing his penis between her legs like a cat in heat, staring red faced down at her, but his eyes were glazed and pants were coming out of his mouth as he tried to thrust inside her. And he was going to succeed if she couldn't snap him out of it…
She clenched her thighs against his hips and he groaned. She shoved her hands against his chest, straining her head away from his nose and he looked confused. "What's wrong, Cordy? What do you want? Whatever you like, I'll do it. I can make it so good…"
It was the smell of fear that made him pause.
He fell off the couch like he had been burned, and looked kinda silly sitting there, hair wild, pants around his ankle, erection waving in the air.
"What?!" She yelled, sitting up and dragging the dress up to cover naked chest. "You were way ahead of me there buddy. Like miles and miles ahead. I thought: Hey, okay, a nice little make out session, get rid of the tension that seems to be tearing at my skin whenever you're around, even when you're NOT… well, that'd be cool. No big happy, no Buffy ass beatage… you get the point. But that?" She pointed at his cock, which seemed to shrivel beneath her gaze. "Is getting nowhere near me."
"The sound you hear is my ego taking a nose dive." Angel muttered, but it seemed half hearted as he picked himself up off the floor.
"Hey, not my fault, you're the one acting like a pubescent hormone driven teenage boy."
His eyebrow shot up and his hand went between her legs before she could stop him. She was wet, and they both knew it before he even pressed a finger through her moisture, tapping on her clit. She gave a soft gasp, closing her eyes and he withdrew her hand. Embarrassed as hell, she drew the silk primly to her knees.
Angel held up the hand between them, watched it gleam slightly in the light. He raised an eyebrow at her, mimicking her own.
"Tell me now, who was hormone driven?"
"I was thinking about Brad Pitt. That had NOTHING to do with you."
He smiled smugly, tugging his pants up.
In a huff, she got up from the couch and stormed to her bedroom.
"You can let yourself out!" She called over her shoulder. "I'm sure you've looked at the blue prints of this place. You know where the door is."
A light breeze played with her hair, but she ignored it, turning and closing her bedroom door behind her. With a sigh, she leaned her forehead against it, closing her eyes.
"Actually, I came in through your window." Angel murmured from behind her. She startled, shrieking as her heart hopped violently in her chest.
"Are you TRYING to give me a heart attack today? Well you're getting pretty damn close!" She yelled at him… and then noticed that he was naked. Very naked. So naked that he wasn't wearing any clothes… and she wasn't making any sense, even to herself.
"You're… doing that vampire-speed thing again, aren't you?" Her voice sounded thick, like she was chewing gum and talking through it.
Angel wiggled his eyebrows.
"You love me." He pointed at her, then to himself. "You want me. Still. Even though you're running from it. A part of you remembers. It has to. I won't believe that it doesn't."
"No way!" She screeched, backing up a step. "Cordelia Chase does NOT fall in love."
Something lit his eyes. Something dangerous… a little sexy.
"You did." He insisted, growled really. The frustration and need showed on his face. "I'll prove it to you."
The next moment, she was shoved against the door and devoured by the cold, naked vampire. Buffy's vampire! But she couldn't find the will to care… She'd used all her strength to resist him already. Weeks spent yelling at him, telling him to back off, she didn't want him, telling him to go back to Sunnydale…
And it hadn't worked. She was starting to think he was actually into her. Or wanted to get there.
"You taste so good." He said against her lips, licking at her like a cat hungry for cream. "No one should taste as good as you."
"Speak for yourself." She retorted, unconsciously gripping his bare shoulders and sliding her hands down, down… finally she fell out of her daze, when he grinned at her, shocked to find her hands squeezing his ass. "This is really weird."
"But weird in a good way." Angel murmured, dragging the silk dress up and over her head. The way his gaze flickered over her skin overwhelmed her… if he'd just calm down, be less intense… it might be easier to do this with him. Not that it would be hard… but hell, she was not making sense… again.
He pressed her flat against the door, crushing her body to his. Cordelia could hear his breath picking up again and something fluttered inside her. A need. And her own breath heated the skin of his neck as she clutched at him.
"I like the way you feel." She told him, between kisses, pressing her hips forward and into his. "Cold, like marble… but softer. Stronger."
"Mmm.." He lifted her thigh over his hips. The tip of his erection brushed her again and she opened her eyes. "You weren't wearing a bra. I love it when you do that."
"Angel." He sighed, keeping his hand clamped on her leg but leaned away from her to look into her eyes.
"What is it? What can I say to you, for you to let me touch you like this? You can't possibly understand how hard it has been not to. All this time…How much I need to feel you this way."
"Tell me you won't go evil." She pleaded, arousal getting the best of her. "That I won't wake up tomorrow and my life turn into one big bloody nightmare."
Something came and went in his eyes. Something dark. Something more suited to a vampire than his smile.
"I won't. Don't you remember? We've done this before."
She looked at him hard, but could read nothing.
"We've had sex?" Angel slid his palm down the top of her thigh, and then pressed between her legs, thrusting a finger up deep inside of her. She moaned, tossing her head back, slamming it against the wood.
"Doesn't this feel familiar? What more do you need?" He growled it, pulling his finger out and thrusting it again, plying her clit with his thumb. "Trust me, Cordy. We've been lovers. In every way that counts."
He reached down, and led the tip of his penis to where she was the wettest, swirling it in circles that had her going on her tiptoes, gasping like she was drowning.
"Okay!" She was convinced. Why would he lie about something like this? He smiled sadly at her closed eyes. Anything… anything to get what he wanted. "You've got me." A slow smile spread her lips wide and she opened her eyes, looked at him from beneath her lashes. "Now what are you going to do with me?"
"What I've always wanted to…"
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bed, pushing her roughly down on it.
"Hardly." Angel's smile glittered, but in a hard way. Like something was aching in him. And then he lay down next to her, and just kissed her mouth until she couldn't breathe, then pulled back, let her suck one gulp of air into her lungs and kissed her some more. Slowly, her muscles went lax and she felt his thigh spread hers apart as he shifted over her.
Her eyes fluttered, fell closed again.
And as his penis wedged her apart, pressed inside… she felt alive and cold, and so damn hot, she was going liquid… but she didn't feel familiar. Not anymore. He might as well be a stranger.
Angel thrust a little harder inside of her, fingers clenching the pillows next to her head. His jaw was slack with pleasure as he fucked her against the mattress, but even while he grunted and she moaned… he felt something important breaking up inside. Though he tried to contain it… though the spears of pleasure cracked his brain with lust.
He couldn't help it.
"I love you." He whispered into her ear. "I love you."
She turned her head to the side and broke his heart. No chance of perfect happiness now, not when she treated him like he didn't belong in her life. "I love you." He said more forcefully and she heard it. He said it too loud and it beat against the blackness of her closed eyelids. Trying to distract him, she dragged her hands down his hips, thrusting up against him.
He sucked in a breath… and instead of speeding up, going harder, he changed what had already started by slowing down, running gentle fingers across her face. "I love you."
Cordelia squeezed her eyes shut tightly. And he kissed each lid.
It became a mantra. And she hated him for trying to make this more than what it could be. She didn't remember him at all! And this… this just made her ache to.
He said it again.
I love you…
I love you..
I love you.
* * *
When he woke, he found his side cold where it had once been hot. Startled, he immediately found the beat of her heart and whipped his gaze to where she sat at the end of the bed, bare back gleaming with the purple light of dawn.
She tensed, the ropes of her muscles going tight and hard. "Are you all right?" She shrugged, her shoulder's rose and fell in a half hearted way, eyes peeking back around at him.
Lost, he thought, eyes more lost than they had been only a night before.
"I had a vision." She whispered, lips parting, tongue dry. "I think."
"What did you see?" He asked, sliding up beside her, but clear from the light blossoming in through the window. Her hair whipped around as she shook her head.
"Vampires. I don't know. They're going to attack in a Mcdonald's tonight. So… you better save them." Angel nodded, a warm weight settling inside. If Cordelia had her visions… well, the rest couldn't be far behind. He wouldn't think of the ramifications of his lie right now. He couldn't. He'd done what he'd had to do.
"Okay," he brushed a cool hand down her back, felt her spine shudder. "See? The visions. They're not so bad." She remained silent while Angel rolled, making the bed creak and stood to dress. The sound of his clothes sliding over his skin seemed to loud in her ears. Everything seemed too loud and bright. She didn't want to live this life. "I've got to go." He whispered into her ear a moment later, pressing a gentle kiss to the soft skin behind it.
When she said nothing, he nudged her chin with his nose. "I guess I came on a little strong last night, huh? Forgive me?"
She shrugged again.
"It would have happened anyway, even if you hadn't become super- seducto-boy." She admitted. "It appears I have a hard time resisting you." But she didn't look at him. He frowned. "You have to go."
"But you'll come by? In a few hours?" Angel asked pulling back to look in her clouded eyes.
She smiled. It felt frozen.
"Sure. You know me. Vision girl now."
"Yeah, Cordy." He grinned, giving her a quick, popping kiss to the lips. "I know you." Seconds later, he was out of her room and striding down the hallway. Racing to beat the sunrise. She watched as the bedroom door swung slowly shut, the breeze from the open window tugging it closed in jagged intervals.
Her ears thrummed where the blood rushed in, accommodating the power of the vision.
"No. You don't." She whispered, pulling the covers up around her naked shoulders. "You haven't got a clue."
But she was starting to. And she'd never felt more betrayed.
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