Hopeless by AngelChase
Summary: What happens when you lose everyone you love?
Spoilers: Season
Four.
Content: Character death. Rape.
Evil vampire.
Notes: Special thanks to Angenlussis for being the world's most patient beta reader and for making this story look A LOT (A LOT) better.
Cordelia shook her head. She knew it wasn't like her to give
up. But she had. Did anything matter? She looked up at the crimson sky, the
light of sun slowly melting into the night. She could still smell the blood,
even when one month had passed. Even when the hotel had been cleaned up, she
still smelled the blood. She still sensed their fear.
She shut her eyes tightly. The images of Angelus sinking his fangs forcefully
into Fred's neck came back to mind. His expression of amusement as he drank the
life out of Fred stayed with her. Fred couldn't run, her feet were heavy like
bricks. She stared at Wesley's corpse and noted how quickly his face had turned
pale; the thin lines of blood that trailed from his neck and spilled onto the
floor. When Angelus grabbed her she couldn't even scream.
Again, Cordelia shook her head trying to send the memories away. Instead she
recalled Angelus twisting Connor's head from right to left in one quick motion.
She remembered she felt relieved when she heard the loud cracking sound that
Connor's neck made. He had already suffered enough. Angelus had taken particular
interest in Connor, unlike he had done with Gunn, whose death had arrived
quickly, so quickly that nobody realized he was gone until Lorne's body was
found.
Cordelia stared at the empty lobby from the top of the stairs. She remembered
Angelus coming for her. She remembered Angelus telling her how beautiful she was
as he ripped off her clothes. He had told her how thankful he was to her for
setting him free. She remembered his cold skin pressed against hers as his
fingers dig inside her.
It wasn't like her to stand there and just take it, but she realized she
couldn't fight him alone. Not only because of the difference of physical
strength, but because even if she found a way around him, she wouldn't be able
to bring Angel back. Not without Wesley, Gunn or Fred. Or even Connor.
The evil vampire had told her much he wanted her. He had kept telling her that
she wanted him too. The monster had the face of her Angel, but she knew better
than that. She had always known the difference between them, and she knew she
didn't want the creature in front of her.
Angel would have never pinned her against the wall and enter her forcefully. But
Angelus didn't care if he hurt her. His expression was one of pleasure as his
cock rasped her dry channel. Angel would have never stretched her with such
violence. He would have never scratched the skin of her breasts with his fangs
and forced her to call his name as he kept drilling her with rage. Even if he
hurt her, she did not make a sound. Whatever physical pain he was causing her
wasn't enough to make her come back to reality. Her senses were too numb from
the smell of blood that was filling the hotel.
He slapped her, bruised her, forced her to stand on hands and knees as his penis
entered her ass. But still there was nothing he could do to make her obey him.
She did not respect him, nor feared him. What was the worst thing he could do?
Kill her? For all she cared, death could be her sweet release.
And he knew that. That was the very same reason she was still alive. That was
the reason he haunted her every minute. He had given her the worst punishment he
could have given her. Loneliness. She had no one to turn to. She had nowhere to
go. She couldn't start her new life. She didn't even want to. Because nothing
else mattered anymore.
Cordelia slowly walked down the stairs towards the garden and looked out the
window. He was there. He was always there. He had been there every night after
she returned from the hospital. He could no longer enter the hotel. Lilah had
taken care of that. She had been the one that had the hotel cleaned up and she
had put a spell to protect Cordelia. She might having been acting out of
remorse, for letting the false spell that could bind Angel's soul fall into
Wesley's hands.
Angelus stepped out from shadows. The sun was no longer there. "Hi, Cordy"
he greeted her casually from the other side of the door. "You look well
today," he complimented her. She remained expressionless. Once upon a time,
she would have picked up a crossbow and aim it to his still heart. She had lots
of crossbows, but none of them would have helped her get her family back.
Cordelia walked closer to the door. She turned the knob and opened it. Angelus
remained on the other side. "Do you want to take a walk outside?" he
teased her. "It's a beautiful evening". Cordelia looked at him without
emotion.
"It's a bit cold outside," she replied as she felt the soft autumn
breeze on her skin. "Come in" she said stepping away from the door and
leaving it open for him. Angelus couldn't hide his initial surprise. He hadn't
expected her to invite him in. At least, not yet. He thanked her with a nod and
entered the Hyperion.
"What do you want, Cordelia?" he asked her suggestively as he walked
closer to her, his voice filled with arrogance. She didn't move away from him.
"I want peace," she replied. She wanted the images to stop. She wanted
to stop smelling her friends' blood. She wanted to stop thinking she had no way
to bring Angel back. She wanted a loophole, or to turn back time. She wanted all
the things she knew she couldn't have. But she could settle for peace since hope
was no longer available.
"I can give you peace," he replied as he approached her. He gently
caressed her shoulder and she shivered when she felt the coldness of his skin of
her. Angelus smiled, enjoying to get some reaction out of her. His touch was
soft, but still so different from Angel's. There was no sweetness in him. There
was no care. "I can give you peace," he repeated. "But we could
have fun together," he told her. "You have it in you, you know,"
he said as she brushed a strand of hair off her face.
"Then turn me," she asked him, avoiding his gaze. She couldn't stand
to look into his dark eyes and see all the hate they carried. Specially not when
the last thing she had seen on Angel's eyes was love.
"Angel would be really disappointed if he could hear you now," he told
her with a smirk. She felt hopeless at the mention of Angel. As he embraced her
softly and she surrendered into his arms.
He buried his face in the crook of her neck and she shivered, feeling his face
changing to his vampire features and then feeling a soft sting as his fangs
scraped her skin. "You won't feel a thing," he told her soothingly.
"You either," she whispered as a stake shot out from under her sleeve.
It was quickly buried inside his chest. He stepped back enough to look at her in
awe. Cordelia smirked behind her tears at his surprised expression and then
pushed the stake deeper inside him.
"Sorry, Angel" she muttered when the only thing left in front of her
was a pile of dust. Cordelia fell down on her knees and she cried the way she
hadn't cried for the past month.
She walked towards the center of the lobby and took one last look at the
deserted hotel. Her eyes wondered around the counter and the desks behind it,
remembering what it was like when the hotel was filled with laughter and
bantering. She moved behind the counter and picked up a pair of suitcases. She
said her last goodbye to her friends and to Angel, hoping he'd be proud of her
for keeping her promise, even if it had taken her too long to find the strength
to do it. Then she turned off the lights and walked away.
End.
Contact
Angelchase